HomeWeekend Caption ContestWeekend Caption Contest™ Weekend Caption Contest™ Kevin August 13, 2004 Weekend Caption Contest 46 Comments It’s Friday, that means it’s time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Some pictures are a blank canvas upon which you can work your masterpiece caption – this is one of those… Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed. Jim McGreevey: Icon of gay progress NBC News Crew Arrested In Hijack Stunt Related Posts Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners February 26, 2016 Weekend Caption Contest™ Winners About The Author Kevin Kevin founded Wizbang in 2003. He still contributes occasionally and handles all the technical and design work for the site. 46 Comments Joel (No Pundit Intended) August 13, 2004 “If you’re happy and you know it….” SDH August 13, 2004 “Why Is This Gander Giving It To The Goose?” Shawn Levasseur August 13, 2004 It’s not as wooden as the “Al Gore” dummy, but you can still see Theresa’s lips moving. McGehee August 13, 2004 “Pull my aaaacccccckkkkk!!!” -S- August 13, 2004 News Alert: John Kerry has been diagnosed with an unusually large growth of unknown origin on his back and doctors are working studiously to try to devise a means by which the growth can be more closely studied without exposing themselves to the potentially contagious cellular spikes protruding from the growth itself. spacemonkey August 13, 2004 On our trip into Cambodia my CIA friend also gave me this lucky backpack. the_redfalcon August 13, 2004 “Well Marlon, what we are seeing here is the Alpha Female demonstrating her dominance by humping the submissive, French-looking, Male. The Male gives a simian gesture of mock-approval, knowing that as long as the Alpha Female is happy, the Male will be well provided for.” Aaron's Rantblog August 13, 2004 Infectious Grooves – Feed the Monkey She likes to feed the monkey She likes to feed the monkey She likes to feed the monkey She likes the monkey Well gather ’round and let me tell you all a story About a boy and his monkey He’s got that kind of monkey that the girls wanna know He likes to take his monkey every place that he goes (Can we pet your monkey?) Hey, ho, you see the monkey? Did you know you made my monkey hungry? I didn’t really know how it get so hungry I’d like to know Would you feed the monkey? Well you can pet my monkey ‘Cause my monkey don’t bite But when you pet my monkey He get funky all night My monkey ain’t no ordinary orangutang ‘Cause my monkey likes to do the wild thing My monkey don’t scratch My monkey don’t bite My monkey don’t swing no tree My monkey don’t hit My monkey don’t drool My monkey be swing with me My monkey don’t freak My monkey don’t trip My monkey don’t wear no cape But you can tell what my monkey wanna eat ‘Cause it turn into a big ol’ ape Yeah… Hey.. The monkey’s getting hungry Hey, hey, why don’t you feed your monkey? (REPEAT x 3) What she want? She wants the monkey (REPEAT x 3) You know she want You know she want You know she wants the monkey (REPEAT x 3) Hey, hey, she likes to feed the monkey Ooh, she’s sayin’ it’s time to feed the monkey Everyday she wants to feed the monkey All through the day she likes to feed the monkey She likes to feed the monkey (REPEAT x 7) Feed the monkey (REPEAT x 19) She likes to feed the monkey! Rodney Dill August 13, 2004 Its just amazing how Teresa’s lips never move. Rodney Dill August 13, 2004 Oops, take that back on a closer read Shawn beat me to the “dummy” theme. Frank Martin August 13, 2004 Welcome everyone to The Jerry Mahoney Show! I’m Paul Winchell and This is my friend “Knucklehead Smith”. Ok Knucklehead, how bout a glass of water while I sing the “star spangled banner” ok here goes. ghrrgrugrurggugluglgl….. ( are we still on? Artie? did that go out to the affiliates?) Tom August 13, 2004 John, do as I say, not as I do. You’ll pick up more votes if you turn to the right. mojo August 13, 2004 Behind every good man, there’s a billionaire heiress… jcrue August 13, 2004 I’ve never been on this side of a massage. . . Cowboy Blob August 13, 2004 Escusez, monsieur…Does your minkey bite? Jack August 13, 2004 Democratic nominee for president Kerry hoping for a “happy ending” Stephen Macklin August 13, 2004 Theresa tells John her stock portfolio has gone up another $12 million. Alex August 13, 2004 In her first public appearance as a televangelist, Teresa Heinz-Kerry lays her hands on her husband, hoping to drive out his desires for John Edwards. She was overheard saying things like “Satan can shove it!” and “Give money to my husband’s campaign so we can see the light!” Nor August 13, 2004 I’ve got a Monkey On My Back – and It’s buying! bob August 13, 2004 IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS Professor Chaos August 13, 2004 [thought bubble]: “God I wish this bitch would get her meat hooks off me.” David Anderson August 13, 2004 There is one thing I dont understand about Mrs. Kerry, why the hell the media keeps calling her sexy. She is about as sexy as Golda Mier (Probably mispelled her name). Kathleen August 14, 2004 “… so I put on my strap-on, and then I shove it just like this…” Laurence Simon August 14, 2004 The monkey on my back is a rich white woman. Sometimes, I wish it was booze or drugs. McGehee August 14, 2004 “John, when we get home tonight, will you wear your bunny suit for me?” “Gladly, Teresa my dear. And will you wear your Prussian officer’s uniform?” “Not a chance.” Rodney Dill August 14, 2004 “Clap on… Clap off… see dear, I told you even that bitch Hillary would have to obey you after the convention.” Rodney Dill August 14, 2004 The couples Simon Says game was an immense success, right up to the point where John Edwards said, “OK, Simon Says, WEDGIE!! Timmer August 14, 2004 “Dahling…I’m frightened of all these commoners, give Momsie a ride on your shoulders.” Rodney Dill August 14, 2004 “Clap John, … Clap your ass off… We may yet need Tinkerbell to secure the San Francisco vote. Damn that Schwarzenegger.” Rodney Dill August 14, 2004 “Whaddya mean there’s no balloons this time!!!” -S- August 14, 2004 (In consideration of the recent Nevada, Yucca Mountain news as to Kerry’s voting record in the Senate, I offer this incredibly Bad Taste caption): “SCREW KERRY” Nordicgirl August 14, 2004 As with any drug, there are possible side effects to Botox. The most common side effects include: Rodney Dill August 14, 2004 Off Camera: “Ok John, now open your eyes, and we’ll ask the woman that has had so much impact on your life to step out from behind you.” John: (clapping) “Great, I didn’t even realize that Kirstie Alley was here.” Laurence Simon August 15, 2004 The red stripes taste like ketchup. Jim August 15, 2004 Pudding! Pudding! me August 15, 2004 uhn…ehm…GLAVIN!!! me August 15, 2004 Uhn…ehm…GLAVIN!!! me August 15, 2004 Oops, nevermind the double-post there, my net seems to be experiencing retardation. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 “Keep hanging on, honey. After I lose in November, maybe Lorne Michaels will cast us in the ‘Ambiguously Gay Duo’ movie.” J. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 “Protect me, John! The peasants are revolting!” “Yes, they are, but we still need their votes.” J. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 “John, I still can’t see over your shoulder.” “Then stand on another briefcase of your first husband’s money.” J. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 Teresa, why are you wearing the green and I’m in pink? Green would’ve gone much better with my pants.” “Just shut up and keep clapping for that high school band. They each have two voting parents here.” J. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 “Thank you, Springfield High School, for that stirring rendition of ‘Stars And Stripes Forever.’ That reminds me of the two weeks I spent at Band Camp just outside Danang, over in Vietnam…” (whispered) “John, I forgot the flute.” J. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 “Let’s give it up for Dr. Orin Scrivello, the inventor of the Botox treatment!” J. Jay Tea August 15, 2004 “John, please stand up. The doctor said I needed to give him a ‘stool sample,’ and you’re sitting on the only one around.” “Teresa, I don’t think that’s quite what the doctor is expecting.” J. TexasRainmaker August 15, 2004 The American Dream: When every African-American can grow up to have a life-sized, white guy puppet.