“Yeah, these contestants on a reality TV show have to start a successful new telephone company. The one with the worst idea gets fired by Donald Trump — I’m betting the guy who thought up this fish phone will get canned!”
No really honey, we’re not going drinking we’re…FISHING, yeah, yeah, we’re fishing. Caught a really pretty one, allllll golden with a rainbow tail. And it was HUGE. It got away though, yeah, and I…lost my shoes when I went in the water after it. So how was your day?
Jay TeaApril 3, 2004
When all else fails, go for the obvious suck-up:
“Hello, White House? My name is Rodney Dill, and I want you to tell the President I found one of them those Weapons of Bass Destruction.”
(voice on phone): What do you mean pick you up? You caught one freaking fish, you can walk the four blocks home!
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And you should have seen the one that got away!
“Yeah, these contestants on a reality TV show have to start a successful new telephone company. The one with the worst idea gets fired by Donald Trump — I’m betting the guy who thought up this fish phone will get canned!”
“So fall on the ground and flop like a fish! Cellphone Blueshorts!”
“Hey, Jonah… can you hear me now?”
“I’m gonna have to call you back. This is a crappie connection.”
“He followed me home. Can I keep him?”
“Yeah, there’s some big cold fish flip floppin’ around here….what’s that? John Kerry? Who’s that?”
Having misunderstood the terms of his frat brothers’ wager, Steve here poses with “the best piece of BASS” he could find.
J.
No, no! I said I’ve been following Phish this summer….
I knew you were going to have to do this weeks contest, or I’d have used it… 🙂
Colin Farrell and Keifer Sutherland in Fish Booth.
Take it all bitch!
No really honey, we’re not going drinking we’re…FISHING, yeah, yeah, we’re fishing. Caught a really pretty one, allllll golden with a rainbow tail. And it was HUGE. It got away though, yeah, and I…lost my shoes when I went in the water after it. So how was your day?
When all else fails, go for the obvious suck-up:
“Hello, White House? My name is Rodney Dill, and I want you to tell the President I found one of them those Weapons of Bass Destruction.”
J.
“Wanda looked on nervously as Bob called his parents to tell them they’d eloped.”
“So, I’m walking along and I get this sudden urge to call you, just for the halibut.”
J.
“So, Susie, you doing anything tonight? Oh, you have a haddock? How about tomorrow?”
J.
“Jenny, it’s time I hung up. This conversation’s starting to flounder.”
J.
“Hi, Gil! I was just hanging down on the waterfront, and thought I oughta call you.”
J.
“So, Dave, can you spot me a few fins? I need some new flippers.”
J.
“Hey, Oldies 99? Can you play ‘Salmon Chanted Evening?’ And can you dedicate it to ‘Shelley,’ my sole mate.”
J.
The previous postings all inspired by Kip Adotta’s classic, “Wet Dream.” Credit (or blame) MUST be given where it is due.
J.
Yeah, I don’t think we should hire this bartender. Why? Well, for starters, you’re never gonna believe what his idea of a Mickey Finn is . . .
“Honey I caught a fish, can you pick me up?”
(voice on phone): What do you mean pick you up? You caught one freaking fish, you can walk the four blocks home!