THINGS THAT IRK ME SO

Some people might call me easily infuriated. That’s not necessarily true.. most of the time I deal calmly with things. Since I’m far away from home (metaphorically speaking) where I can destroy things, I’ve decided to vent and list some of the things that frustrate, enrage, and annoy me to no end.
Shall we begin?

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• Democrats who publicly wish for bad news, doom and gloom up until the election just to exercise their hate.
• The plastic packages batteries, remote controls, and kitchen utensils come in that you can’t open without a bandsaw.
• People who can’t follow simple instructions, like on a stupid election ballot.
• People who couldn’t follow the manual ballot instructions instructions, but sue to stop touch-screen voting for fear of something they couldn’t understand if they tried.
• People who cater to those who can’t follow instructions.
• Those who sue fast food restaurants, not simply because they’re fat, but for the money – because they’re too obese to get off their butts and earn a paycheck.
• That dang script the liberals are reading from, ad nauseum. If I find who wrote all those stupid, inherently wrong, mindless talking points…
• Fools along the East Coast who wait until the last minute to prepare for a hurricane, and find that not only are the stores sold out of everything they need, but they’re stuck in evacuation traffic trying to get back home – where they shouldn’t be in the first place.
• Those who try to uphold the rights of a few at the expense of the rights of everybody else.
• Those who try to deny the rights of people they can’t see out of convenience.
• Left-wingers who try to call Arnold Schwarzenegger an extreme right-wing conservative, which he absolutely is not.
• Left wingers who try to call Howard Dean a ‘fiscal conservative’, which, I assure you, he is not.
• MoveOn.org. If anyone needs to move on, it’s these fools, who still have 2000 on the brain.
• TrueMajority.com. They’re neither.
• That I manage to find a reason a day to hate France. If we could just take Paris (which I thought was beautiful) and find a way to ship it to Poland…
• Paranoiacs who think the Patriot Act means the government is out to get THEM. That’s right, that twenty dollar bill you’ve got in your hand is bugged… I’ll, em, guard it for you. Be free!
• Homeowners who think that collecting trash in their yard is a form of artistic expression.
• 40 minutes of continuous music on the radio, which means you get 20 minutes of continuous commercials.
• Reality television. Is neither.
• Drivers who don’t turn on some sort of light, be it parking or headlights, when it rains, thereby rendering them invisible.
• Vibrating bass from neighboring hot rods that vibrates the finish off your car.
• Liberals who repeat their lies so frequently and consistently that they believe them.
• Anti-Semites, and those who think anti-Semitism is some kind of fad.
• Jews who use anti-Semitism to bash Christianity.
• Chicken-Little Environmentalists who give global warming speeches in snowstorms.
• As if we didn’t get them enough at home watching them for free, commercials before movies.
• Potholes on toll roads. What the #$%^! are we paying for?
• So-called comedic movies beginning with the word “American”, as if Americans were sex-obsessed lifeless alcoholic morons.
• People who call antiwar protesters “heroes.”
• Road construction during rush hour.
• Michael Jackson.
• Janet Jackson.
• Jermaine Jackson.
• Randy Jackson. Dog. Man. Dude.
• Jesse Jackson.
• Jack Nicholson.
• People who stop Cuban refugees fleeing in cool boats made from antique cars.
• The New York Yankees, especially George Steinbrenner.
• Yankee fans who never wonder what would happen if their team didn’t have so much money.
• Using a card to get discounts at supermarkets, or else paying double the retail price.
• ATM fees.
• The aggregation of Washington’s and Lincoln’s birthdays into a big group day that only a quarter of Americans actually celebrate by taking off work.
• The absence of an Italian History Month.
• Boogers above urinals.
• Trial Lawyers who give public service announcements on TV…. as if they cared about you.
• Trial Lawyers who become politicians.
• Trial Lawyers, period.
• Not being able to find where the roll of tape begins.
• Commercials with walking, talking bears.
• Commercials with people that make you long for walking, talking bears.
• ‘Body Wash’ when you’re looking for soap.
• MTV post-1984.
• Companies who call you and have the nerve to tell you to hold for the next available operator when you answer.
• Truckers who don’t understand inertia.
• Free sandblasting, courtesy of the dump truck in front of you.

Feel free to add to this far-from-exhaustive list.

–Pietro