"State Of" Speeches Are Like Porn Because…

  • It’s scripted, but supposed to look natural.

  • There are “O” ‘s at all the expected spots.

  • Most of the “O” ‘s are fake.

  • At least half the people involved in the “O” ‘s, if shown in close up, look bored.

  • It’s hard to watch from beginning to end, but when viewed in small chucks it’s occasionally interesting.

  • The minority party ends up taking in in the rear.

  • Cunning linguistics can enliven a monotonous, formulatic occasion.

  • A master debater rarely gets a chance to showcase those talents.

I Thought It Was Just Me...
Howard Dean Remix