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It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Given the subject matter I'm running the contest a few hours early. Enter your best caption for the following picture:
Winners will be announced Monday morning.
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
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Comments (126)
2 million for this....reall... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Joe Lux | October 2, 2009 2:50 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
2 million for this....really?????
I didn't know Hilary AND Chelsea worked for you.
2 Mill. for this??? at least 10 mill. for mine...
1. Posted by Joe Lux | October 2, 2009 2:50 AM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 02:50
2. Posted by Stephan | October 2, 2009 3:11 AM | Score: 16 (18 votes cast)
Well, what do you know. The meaning of "is" has been in Webster's this whole time.
2. Posted by Stephan | October 2, 2009 3:11 AM |
Score: 16 (18 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 03:11
3. Posted by Stephan | October 2, 2009 3:16 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Bill finally gets to browse through Dave's rather impressive "Little Black Book."
3. Posted by Stephan | October 2, 2009 3:16 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 03:16
4. Posted by CharlieDontSurf | October 2, 2009 3:16 AM | Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
Hey Bill, you are the expert on screwing interns...how do I spin this?
4. Posted by CharlieDontSurf | October 2, 2009 3:16 AM |
Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 03:16
5. Posted by Wiglaf | October 2, 2009 3:18 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
While perusing Dave's Big Book of Interns and Production Assistants, Bill realized he had chosen the wrong career.
5. Posted by Wiglaf | October 2, 2009 3:18 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 03:18
6. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:09 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
I'm not buying this Dave. You have to Polanski these girls or what?
6. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:09 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:09
7. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:14 AM | Score: 21 (21 votes cast)
Have you tried blaming "bush"?
7. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:14 AM |
Score: 21 (21 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:14
8. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:16 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
That's what I call a top ten list...
8. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:16 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:16
9. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:23 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Dave, you should have run for office as a democrat. Complete press blackout is what I'm sayin'...
9. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:23 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:23
10. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dan Rather up to his old tricks again?
He really has lost the frequency this time...
10. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:24
11. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:25 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
But, Dave...no one believes this stuff anymore unless it's in the National Enquirer.
Just ask Edwards...
11. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:25 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:25
12. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Looks like Dave's got a man crush.
12. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:26
13. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave, what a man slut you are.
13. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:28
14. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:30 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Talk to Edwards about keeping the wife in line.
He's got serious skills in that department.
14. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:30 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:30
15. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:31 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Hell, Dave. Hillary bangs more interns than that...
15. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:31 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:31
16. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:37 AM | Score: 7 (9 votes cast)
Hate to break it to you Dave, but some of these count as "Stupid Pet Tricks"...
16. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 5:37 AM |
Score: 7 (9 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:37
17. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 5:59 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"So that's what the Definition of 'IS' is."
17. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 5:59 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 05:59
18. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 6:03 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"So what's the first song in the Obama Hymnal?"
"Hail to the Thief"
18. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 6:03 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:03
19. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 6:04 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"I'd like to come clean on the whole Monica thing... Oh look! Shiny!"
19. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 6:04 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:04
20. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 6:11 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
"This book contains everything Obama has said... since 8:00 AM this morning."
20. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 6:11 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:11
21. Posted by iwogisdead | October 2, 2009 6:13 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Dave Letterman reacts as Bill Clinton reads aloud from the Physician's Desk Reference entry on Viagra.
21. Posted by iwogisdead | October 2, 2009 6:13 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:13
22. Posted by IowaRight | October 2, 2009 6:22 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Right out of the Vast Right Wing Playbook, extorsion..extorsion..here it is...
22. Posted by IowaRight | October 2, 2009 6:22 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:22
23. Posted by JLawson | October 2, 2009 6:29 AM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
"Let's see. She'll keep quiet. And so will this one, and this one, and this one... she looks good in that, doesn't she? She'd keep quiet - and her, her, her... but not her. Watch out for that one! Doesn't matter how she looks in heels and pearls and nothing else - she can't keep her mouth shut."
23. Posted by JLawson | October 2, 2009 6:29 AM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:29
24. Posted by Terry S/Will Profit | October 2, 2009 6:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill tells Dave that Barack Obama ghost wrote his book "Wrestling With History."
24. Posted by Terry S/Will Profit | October 2, 2009 6:47 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:47
25. Posted by retired military | October 2, 2009 6:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Clinton - "see David it is right here on page 87. How to have affairs and lie about them with a straight face"
25. Posted by retired military | October 2, 2009 6:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 06:48
26. Posted by iwogisdead | October 2, 2009 7:03 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Bill Clinton is seen appearing on the David Letterman show, promoting the release of the first installment of his 25 volume biography entitled: "Bill Clinton, a Man and His Humility."
26. Posted by iwogisdead | October 2, 2009 7:03 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:03
27. Posted by VagaBond | October 2, 2009 7:08 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Dumb and Dumber 2
27. Posted by VagaBond | October 2, 2009 7:08 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:08
28. Posted by jay Wills | October 2, 2009 7:12 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Two of the best reasons to invest in the stock of whomever makes Viagra.
28. Posted by jay Wills | October 2, 2009 7:12 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:12
29. Posted by Highlander | October 2, 2009 7:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Okay David, I'll look it up if you want, but I'm telling ya - sexual harrassment is a noun, meaning unwelcome sexual advances made by an employer or superior, especially when compliance is made a condition of continued employment or advancement".
29. Posted by Highlander | October 2, 2009 7:14 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:14
30. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 7:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill: "Well I'll be... Hillary told me 'harass' was one word, but I didn't believe her."
Dave: "...but when she called you 'astute,' she meant it as two."
30. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 7:14 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:14
31. Posted by IowaRight | October 2, 2009 7:17 AM | Score: 24 (24 votes cast)
"Call your doctor if you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours" Forget That!! I say call a staff meeting...
31. Posted by IowaRight | October 2, 2009 7:17 AM |
Score: 24 (24 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:17
32. Posted by Jumpinjoe | October 2, 2009 7:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It's right here in the "Democrat Book of Dirty Tricks" to just say "If you drag a hundred dollar bill through the trailer park".
32. Posted by Jumpinjoe | October 2, 2009 7:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:21
33. Posted by Spike | October 2, 2009 7:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Clinton: "Well I'll be a fornicator! The definition of 'fool' is 'Jimmy Carter'".
33. Posted by Spike | October 2, 2009 7:22 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:22
34. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 7:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Man I wish buying off Hillary had only taken a bogus $2 Million check."
34. Posted by rodney dill | October 2, 2009 7:23 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:23
35. Posted by Jumpinjoe | October 2, 2009 7:25 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Don't worry Dave, according to the "NOW Playbook" if you keep trashing conservatism, they'll look the other way.
35. Posted by Jumpinjoe | October 2, 2009 7:25 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:25
36. Posted by Adrian Browne | October 2, 2009 7:36 AM | Score: -32 (32 votes cast)
G oofy
O bsessed
P antysniffers
36. Posted by Adrian Browne | October 2, 2009 7:36 AM |
Score: -32 (32 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:36
37. Posted by Upset Old Guy | October 2, 2009 7:41 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
B. C.: "Now Dave, don't feel bad just because your own "little black book" really is a little black book. There's no ignominy in being an also ran. (snickers) What am I talking about? Of course there's ignominy in being an also ran, just ask Hilary some time about her life since her presidential run."
37. Posted by Upset Old Guy | October 2, 2009 7:41 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:41
38. Posted by pibill | October 2, 2009 7:41 AM | Score: -13 (15 votes cast)
Geez--even the forward in Palin's book is stupid!
38. Posted by pibill | October 2, 2009 7:41 AM |
Score: -13 (15 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:41
39. Posted by tomg51 | October 2, 2009 7:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave, A picture is worth a thousand words.
39. Posted by tomg51 | October 2, 2009 7:44 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 07:44
40. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | October 2, 2009 8:05 AM | Score: 0 (4 votes cast)
Have you heard the one about Bill and Roman and me sodomizing Sarah Palin's daughters in the hot tub? Ha Ha Ha Ha! It's hilarious!
40. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | October 2, 2009 8:05 AM |
Score: 0 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:05
41. Posted by Maggie Mama | October 2, 2009 8:07 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Letterman to Clinton: " 'Going Rogue?' 'Going Rogue?' We were both going rogue before Palin even had her first baby!"
41. Posted by Maggie Mama | October 2, 2009 8:07 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:07
42. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 8:08 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
"Dippin' your pen in the company ink well Dave...?"
42. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 8:08 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:08
43. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 8:12 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
I always wondered what that 'Worldwide Pants' thing was all about Dave. That's a good one.
43. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 8:12 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:12
44. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | October 2, 2009 8:13 AM | Score: -1 (3 votes cast)
Some people say we're tasteless, but that's not what our interns said, right Bill? Ha Ha Ha Ha!
44. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | October 2, 2009 8:13 AM |
Score: -1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:13
45. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | October 2, 2009 8:17 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
No can do Bill, the FCC would absolutely freak if we ran your Stupid Cigar Tricks segment.
45. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | October 2, 2009 8:17 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:17
46. Posted by sarahconnor2 | October 2, 2009 8:18 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
"Let's see. Did her-
Did her-
Did her-
Did her twice-
Did her-..."
46. Posted by sarahconnor2 | October 2, 2009 8:18 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:18
47. Posted by SShiell | October 2, 2009 8:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Letterman laughingly to Clinton:
"Mr. President, you have to go back to the I's to find the definition of IS."
47. Posted by SShiell | October 2, 2009 8:39 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:39
48. Posted by Pat | October 2, 2009 8:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Verily, I say unto you : Thou shalt not commit adultery!
Give me a minute to look through my little black book here..I think I still have a spot where you can write their phone numbers for me..
48. Posted by Pat | October 2, 2009 8:42 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:42
49. Posted by Al Pennam | October 2, 2009 8:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave, your teeth, I don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal.
49. Posted by Al Pennam | October 2, 2009 8:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:45
50. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | October 2, 2009 8:46 AM | Score: 9 (11 votes cast)
Top 10 reasons to have sex with an intern:
1. She's there.
2. I want it.
3. No means yes.
4. It's not 'rape rape.'
5. More cushion for the pushin'.
6. No matter what happens, liberals always get a free pass.
7. Feminists will look the other way for us.
8. I've appointed all the judges.
9. I've fired the judges I didn't appoint.
10. They can always 'put some ice on that.'
50. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | October 2, 2009 8:46 AM |
Score: 9 (11 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:46
51. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | October 2, 2009 8:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave, I'm trying to read right now. You can give me that H-Job later...
51. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | October 2, 2009 8:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:50
52. Posted by Spike | October 2, 2009 8:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Mr. President, I did have sexual relations with that woman, the staffer....."
52. Posted by Spike | October 2, 2009 8:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:51
53. Posted by Marie | October 2, 2009 8:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill Clinton puruses Dave's little black book. Slept with her...and her...and her....wait a minute....I think I missed her...
53. Posted by Marie | October 2, 2009 8:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:56
54. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 8:58 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Well, sure Dave, it's a classic case of sexual harassment in the workplace except for one thing. You're FOR abortion.
Gets you a complete pass.
54. Posted by fustian | October 2, 2009 8:58 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 08:58
55. Posted by Dave | October 2, 2009 9:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Perv and Pervier
55. Posted by Dave | October 2, 2009 9:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:05
56. Posted by Duke DeLand | October 2, 2009 9:10 AM | Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
You see Bill, my list IS longer than yours. Of course I had more choice of places than the hallway outside the Oval office.
56. Posted by Duke DeLand | October 2, 2009 9:10 AM |
Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:10
57. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 9:11 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Was Paul one of the staffers?
57. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 9:11 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:11
58. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 9:12 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
I see how you were able to string along that ugly chick for 23 years Dave.
58. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 9:12 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:12
59. Posted by Duke DeLand | October 2, 2009 9:12 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Dave, did you actually buy them each a Sarah Palin wig, or just reuse the same one?
59. Posted by Duke DeLand | October 2, 2009 9:12 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:12
60. Posted by Stan25 | October 2, 2009 9:20 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Geez Obama is going to crap his pants when he starts reading this
60. Posted by Stan25 | October 2, 2009 9:20 AM |
Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:20
61. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 9:21 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Deviancy and Hypocrisy
61. Posted by Pretzel Logic | October 2, 2009 9:21 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:21
62. Posted by TOhio | October 2, 2009 9:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill, you're joking right? Do you think I'd go public without having first paid off the women to be quiet? Surely you don't think I'm as dumb as you are.
62. Posted by TOhio | October 2, 2009 9:35 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:35
63. Posted by IowaRight | October 2, 2009 9:39 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
She says, "I'm sorry, I thought there was supposed to be a staff meeting now"
So I say "There is, I would like you to meet my "Staff"...
63. Posted by IowaRight | October 2, 2009 9:39 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:39
64. Posted by Strick | October 2, 2009 9:43 AM | Score: 21 (21 votes cast)
So, Mr. President, is it as good as your intern story?
Close, but no cigar.
64. Posted by Strick | October 2, 2009 9:43 AM |
Score: 21 (21 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 09:43
65. Posted by James H | October 2, 2009 10:03 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Comparing entertainment affairs with affairs of state.
65. Posted by James H | October 2, 2009 10:03 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 10:03
66. Posted by Cloudfish | October 2, 2009 10:03 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Karma's a bitch, ain't it Bill?
66. Posted by Cloudfish | October 2, 2009 10:03 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 10:03
67. Posted by AWilson | October 2, 2009 10:29 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Welcome to the first Philanderer's Anonymous meeting. I took the liberty of preparing a few bylaws(mostly names and numbers, wink, wink.)
67. Posted by AWilson | October 2, 2009 10:29 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 10:29
68. Posted by Weegie | October 2, 2009 10:33 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
That's right, Dave. You, me, Roman Polanski, and the dear departed Ted Kennedy - we're all just victims here.
68. Posted by Weegie | October 2, 2009 10:33 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 10:33
69. Posted by Bruce | October 2, 2009 10:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Former President Bill Clinton thumbs through his little black book to find some job applicants for Letterman's staff.
69. Posted by Bruce | October 2, 2009 10:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 10:52
70. Posted by Scott | October 2, 2009 11:00 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
You know Bill, it's true what they say... you really can't eat just one
70. Posted by Scott | October 2, 2009 11:00 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:00
71. Posted by Hank | October 2, 2009 11:06 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"You know Dave, I wrote the book on it."
71. Posted by Hank | October 2, 2009 11:06 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:06
72. Posted by BluesHarper | October 2, 2009 11:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What's another word for thesaurus?
- Steven Wright
72. Posted by BluesHarper | October 2, 2009 11:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:11
73. Posted by Roy | October 2, 2009 11:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here it is. Praise the Lord that Jesse showed me this Bible verse.
73. Posted by Roy | October 2, 2009 11:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:31
74. Posted by Roman P. | October 2, 2009 11:32 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
I see you underline the dirty parts too.
74. Posted by Roman P. | October 2, 2009 11:32 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:32
75. Posted by GarandFan | October 2, 2009 11:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I knew you'd enjoy it, a whole book on the definition of "is".
75. Posted by GarandFan | October 2, 2009 11:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:45
76. Posted by Timmer | October 2, 2009 11:46 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
BC: Oh this? This is a collection of all the jokes you made about me in the 90s.
76. Posted by Timmer | October 2, 2009 11:46 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:46
77. Posted by Ron | October 2, 2009 11:46 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"stop me if you've hear this one....
One sexual deviant said to the other ..."
"Now wait a minute, you said our conversation was off the record."
77. Posted by Ron | October 2, 2009 11:46 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:46
78. Posted by Wildman | October 2, 2009 11:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yes david, after looking at the picture, it was a maduro Churchill i used on monica.
78. Posted by Wildman | October 2, 2009 11:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:52
79. Posted by SILVER BULLET | October 2, 2009 11:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yeah, I had a few affairs but I never inhaled.
79. Posted by SILVER BULLET | October 2, 2009 11:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 11:57
80. Posted by Harvey | October 2, 2009 12:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'm sure glad I brough along my copy of 'Arguing With Idiots'"
80. Posted by Harvey | October 2, 2009 12:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 12:39
81. Posted by Harvey | October 2, 2009 12:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
That would be:
"I'm sure glad I brought along my copy of 'Arguing With Idiots'"
81. Posted by Harvey | October 2, 2009 12:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 12:41
82. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Looks like you and me bang a few of the same girls! (either one could say this)
82. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:10
83. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
That should have been: Looks like you and me banged a few of the same girls.
83. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:11
84. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill Clinton: I was hitting on the White House press corp a lot - want to see Helen Thomas naked? Had her in the Oval Office too ya know!
84. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:20
85. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill Clinton: It's right here in the Book of Genesis: When God[Obama] began to create heavens and earth, and the earth then was welter and waste and darkness over the deep and God's breath hovering over the waters, God [Obama] said, 'Let there be light.' and there was light"
85. Posted by JAT | October 2, 2009 1:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:23
86. Posted by Gmac | October 2, 2009 1:28 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Thought bubble over BC's head:"I don't know why he's got that stupid smile on his face... I screwed one intern and he's got a whole damn book of them and look what happened to me."
86. Posted by Gmac | October 2, 2009 1:28 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:28
87. Posted by a. moral | October 2, 2009 1:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yeah, I think she was pretty hot too. Wait to you get to the names in Volume Three.
87. Posted by a. moral | October 2, 2009 1:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:30
88. Posted by DJ Drummond | October 2, 2009 1:33 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Dave: "So I fixed things by making false promises and writing a fake check"
Bill: "Well Dave, that's how Congress gets it done!"
88. Posted by DJ Drummond | October 2, 2009 1:33 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:33
89. Posted by twolaneflash | October 2, 2009 1:50 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Dave, why are the Kama Sutra pages stuck together?
89. Posted by twolaneflash | October 2, 2009 1:50 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:50
90. Posted by Rich | October 2, 2009 1:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Birds of a feather....
90. Posted by Rich | October 2, 2009 1:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:54
91. Posted by twolaneflash | October 2, 2009 1:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Add a female employee in the middle and these two stale slices of white bread make a Dodd/Kennedy sandwich.
91. Posted by twolaneflash | October 2, 2009 1:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 13:54
92. Posted by Corbin Dallas | October 2, 2009 2:13 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Looky right here, Dave. It's the funniest one! #7 Thou shall not commit adultry! We're in trouble Buddy!"
92. Posted by Corbin Dallas | October 2, 2009 2:13 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 14:13
93. Posted by dfbaskwill | October 2, 2009 3:10 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Q: (Bill) "How much did it cost to actually bind your little black book?"
A: (David) "$2 Million."
93. Posted by dfbaskwill | October 2, 2009 3:10 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 15:10
94. Posted by Myronhalo | October 2, 2009 3:30 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Like two peas in a pod
94. Posted by Myronhalo | October 2, 2009 3:30 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 15:30
95. Posted by Myronhalo | October 2, 2009 3:32 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Or:
Like two pees in the pool
95. Posted by Myronhalo | October 2, 2009 3:32 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 15:32
96. Posted by Sig94 | October 2, 2009 4:18 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Top Ten Reasons To Believe Dave Letterman Wants To Have Sex With You
#10. Richard Simmons shows up at your home and hands you a business thong to wear to your job interview with Dave Letterman.
#9. During his monologue, Dave Letterman cornholes Paul Shaffer while screaming your name, phone number and address.
#8. During your interview for a CBS Late Show internship, Dave Letterman throws his pants instead of a pencil through the fake window.
#7. During your interview for a CBS Late Show internship, Dave Letterman introduces you to President Clinton as "My New Zipper Blotter".
#6. Dave Letterman sends his mother to your house with a fresh-baked apple pie and a picture of his wife.
#5. During your job interview, Dave Letterman says he wants to knock you up by screwing you on top of third base during a Yankees game .
#4. During your job interview, Dave Letterman says he wants to knock you up by screwing you during a Yankees game on top of Alex Rodriguez.
#3. The name of the company at the top of your pay check changes from "World Wide Pants, Inc." to "Guess What I Have In My Pants For You, Inc."
#2. In his "CBS Mail Bag" spot, Dave Letterman opens your mail and reads his letter threatening to fire you if you don't have sex with him.
#1. In his "Stupid Pet/Human Tricks" spot, Dave Letterman wears a leash and dry humps your leg.
96. Posted by Sig94 | October 2, 2009 4:18 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 16:18
97. Posted by Faith+1 | October 2, 2009 5:01 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
The Master and The Apprentice
97. Posted by Faith+1 | October 2, 2009 5:01 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 17:01
98. Posted by 914 | October 2, 2009 5:33 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
My lie. By Bill Clinton.
98. Posted by 914 | October 2, 2009 5:33 PM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 17:33
99. Posted by md | October 2, 2009 5:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave, this might come in handy for you. See here... This is what the definition of "is" is.
99. Posted by md | October 2, 2009 5:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 17:35
100. Posted by DANEgerus | October 2, 2009 5:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Did her... yeah... but I'll spot you a draft pick for this brunette."
100. Posted by DANEgerus | October 2, 2009 5:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 17:49
101. Posted by tom | October 2, 2009 6:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave sings to Bill "Anything you can do I can do better. Yes,I can."
101. Posted by tom | October 2, 2009 6:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 18:28
102. Posted by Proud2bAmerican | October 2, 2009 6:41 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Clinton: "Ah yes, it's right here-did you try this one?"
Letterman: "Yes I did, thank you for my copy of "Under the Radar & Under the Desk Favors- Bill Clinton's guide to the Best Karma Sutra Positions"
102. Posted by Proud2bAmerican | October 2, 2009 6:41 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 18:41
103. Posted by Brad | October 2, 2009 9:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
But she pelted me with rocks and garbage!
103. Posted by Brad | October 2, 2009 9:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 21:15
104. Posted by Dennis D | October 2, 2009 11:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
" Hey Bill, I tried your cigar marination process on my intern too. Works great"
104. Posted by Dennis D | October 2, 2009 11:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 2, 2009 23:13
105. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 2:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Willy Wonker and the blackbook factory.
105. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 2:00 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 02:00
106. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 2:06 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
A coffe mug, a book, a microphone and two molesters.
106. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 2:06 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 02:06
107. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 2:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My lies...Directed by Bubba. Undulated by Monica. Rehearsed by Unbright.
107. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 2:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 02:20
108. Posted by Jill | October 3, 2009 2:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave lets Bill choose his next conquest from the CBS Employee Directory...
108. Posted by Jill | October 3, 2009 2:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 02:50
109. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 5:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Next time hill opens her yap, I will do what comes naturally.
signed BJ Clinton...
109. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 5:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 05:11
110. Posted by rodney dill | October 3, 2009 8:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Discretion.... FAIL
110. Posted by rodney dill | October 3, 2009 8:18 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 08:18
111. Posted by rodney dill | October 3, 2009 8:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In Soviet Russia, the staff rides you.
111. Posted by rodney dill | October 3, 2009 8:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 08:19
112. Posted by Faith+1 | October 3, 2009 9:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Co-authors review their new book, "The Top Ten Ways To Bang An Intern."
112. Posted by Faith+1 | October 3, 2009 9:22 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 09:22
113. Posted by twolaneflash | October 3, 2009 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You creep me out, Dave.
113. Posted by twolaneflash | October 3, 2009 10:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 10:20
114. Posted by Mick McMick | October 3, 2009 11:13 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Just thank your starts, Dave, that we're not Republicans. We'd be run out of town on a rail.
114. Posted by Mick McMick | October 3, 2009 11:13 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 11:13
115. Posted by BKeyser | October 3, 2009 12:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Okay Dave, here we go. 'Chapter One: How to keep from being blackmailed.' John Edwards has gotta lotta nerve, huh?"
115. Posted by BKeyser | October 3, 2009 12:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 12:00
116. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thar She blows
116. Posted by 914 | October 3, 2009 12:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 12:23
117. Posted by RadiCalMan | October 3, 2009 1:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Philanderer with the Philanderer-in-Chief!
117. Posted by RadiCalMan | October 3, 2009 1:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 13:52
118. Posted by rodney dill | October 3, 2009 5:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Don't worry Mr. President, I haven't found Waldo yet either."
118. Posted by rodney dill | October 3, 2009 5:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 17:29
119. Posted by Jeff | October 3, 2009 5:57 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not eat them with a mouse.
I will not eat them in a house.
I will not eat them here or there.
I will not eat them anywhere.
I will not eat green eggs and ham.
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
119. Posted by Jeff | October 3, 2009 5:57 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 17:57
120. Posted by Jeff | October 3, 2009 6:19 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
It was the best of times, it was the worst intern of all times...
120. Posted by Jeff | October 3, 2009 6:19 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on October 3, 2009 18:19
121. Posted by rodney dill | October 4, 2009 8:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill: "It sure is cathartic to get stuff off your chest."
Dave: "Amen to that... now about Vince Foster."
121. Posted by rodney dill | October 4, 2009 8:32 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2009 08:32
122. Posted by rodney dill | October 4, 2009 8:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bill: "Remember all your jokes about my problems? So now I'd like to read you a little from My Pet Gloat."
122. Posted by rodney dill | October 4, 2009 8:35 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2009 08:35
123. Posted by Rachel Edith | October 4, 2009 10:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well, Dave this is a lot. And good for you. I quit keeping count when writing down names hindered the action."
123. Posted by Rachel Edith | October 4, 2009 10:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2009 10:56
124. Posted by Jeff | October 4, 2009 1:10 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Here Dave, let me read from my book of poetry.
There once was an intern from Nantucket
Who dreamed of the President's member to suck it
When the pizza delivery man came through
On her dress my wad I did blew
Then wiggle my finger and truth I did duck it
124. Posted by Jeff | October 4, 2009 1:10 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on October 4, 2009 13:10
125. Posted by Hermoine | October 5, 2009 12:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"As you know, Bill, in some quarters sexual harassment is considered an employee benefit."
125. Posted by Hermoine | October 5, 2009 12:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 5, 2009 00:48
126. Posted by Kevin
| October 5, 2009 1:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
126. Posted by Kevin
| October 5, 2009 1:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on October 5, 2009 01:48