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Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
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Comments (129)
Having watched Nancy Pelosi... (Below threshold)1. Posted by epador | May 15, 2009 8:10 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Having watched Nancy Pelosi soot herself repeatedly, and know Osama's body lies mouldering in the caves, our quintessential soldier attempts to restrain himself from strangling the VP. He knows how that robot is programmed, and any second now Biden will experience a transrectal linguectomy.
1. Posted by epador | May 15, 2009 8:10 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:10
2. Posted by epador | May 15, 2009 8:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
[I need caffeine!!!] Shoot and knowing Arrrrgh.
2. Posted by epador | May 15, 2009 8:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:11
3. Posted by GianiD | May 15, 2009 8:19 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
The latest Hope/Change tool from Fauxbama, Inc helps locate Dem's heads, firmly buried 2-3 feet up their rectum. Video evidence is available.
3. Posted by GianiD | May 15, 2009 8:19 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:19
4. Posted by JAT | May 15, 2009 8:21 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
My dog is smarter than your robot soldier!
4. Posted by JAT | May 15, 2009 8:21 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:21
5. Posted by DSkinner | May 15, 2009 8:22 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"Is there a chance of lightning today? I liked Johnny Five. He was cute. Think that might happen today?"
5. Posted by DSkinner | May 15, 2009 8:22 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:22
6. Posted by Pretzel Logic | May 15, 2009 8:23 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Perfect, we'll take 325 million of these, we aim to stick it to everyone.
6. Posted by Pretzel Logic | May 15, 2009 8:23 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:23
7. Posted by JAT | May 15, 2009 8:23 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Can you add a teleprompter to this for the Big Guy? I think he's going to need it defending Pelosi.
7. Posted by JAT | May 15, 2009 8:23 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:23
8. Posted by Pretzel Logic | May 15, 2009 8:24 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
NIce, put it in the trunk, I want to take it home for the Mrs. wink wink.
8. Posted by Pretzel Logic | May 15, 2009 8:24 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:24
9. Posted by Gmac | May 15, 2009 8:25 AM | Score: 21 (21 votes cast)
Yes VP Biden, this is the new tank we got because of the budget cuts.
9. Posted by Gmac | May 15, 2009 8:25 AM |
Score: 21 (21 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:25
10. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:26 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Robotic anal probe with flashlight now to be used by IRS.
10. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:26 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:26
11. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | May 15, 2009 8:28 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Mmmm. Can an arm like that remove my foot from my mouth? It gets stuck in there sometimes. Really? Good. Now what about the boss.. he's had his head stuck up his...
11. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | May 15, 2009 8:28 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:28
12. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:30 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Enema of the State.
12. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:30 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:30
13. Posted by Rick13 | May 15, 2009 8:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Because of his reputation as a "tight-ass", Vice President Joe Biden will have his annual medical exam conducted by a Naval bomb removal team.
13. Posted by Rick13 | May 15, 2009 8:33 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:33
14. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:33 AM | Score: 13 (13 votes cast)
Biden: Never mind the terrorists, will this work against our own people?
14. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:33 AM |
Score: 13 (13 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:33
15. Posted by engineer | May 15, 2009 8:35 AM | Score: 11 (11 votes cast)
"So you say the enemy is really going to hate this thing? They'll probably call it a four letter word, R-O-B-O-T"
15. Posted by engineer | May 15, 2009 8:35 AM |
Score: 11 (11 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:35
16. Posted by Charles Bannerman | May 15, 2009 8:38 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
My set of Leggos is better than that,I can make an aircraft carrier
16. Posted by Charles Bannerman | May 15, 2009 8:38 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:38
17. Posted by Tim | May 15, 2009 8:41 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
You know, I built one of these back when I was the first one in my family to go to college. I mean, I did have the highest IQ of anyone elses there.
17. Posted by Tim | May 15, 2009 8:41 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:41
18. Posted by iurockhead | May 15, 2009 8:44 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
In response to his frequent verbal miscues, VP Joe Biden had the military, at the behest of the president, develop an all-terrain field-grade teleprompter. The self-actuating taser, which is intended to deploy when Biden gets "off,", is still under development.
18. Posted by iurockhead | May 15, 2009 8:44 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:44
19. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 8:48 AM | Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
There's an app for that...
19. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 8:48 AM |
Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:48
20. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:48 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Biden: I forbid it's use against any gay minority.
Soldier: But the homosexuals like it, sir.
20. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 8:48 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:48
21. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 8:52 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
No disassemble Number Five!
21. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 8:52 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:52
22. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 8:55 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Now the President has that stupid dog that brings him scotch. Can this thing be programmed to bring me scotch?
22. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 8:55 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:55
23. Posted by SideShowJane | May 15, 2009 8:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
But can it wipe my ass, ha, just kidding. I bet the parent comapany is incorporated in Delaware. So, where did you say you were from (grabs elbow, makes eye contact)? Ok, now, who wants a picture with the Veep?
23. Posted by SideShowJane | May 15, 2009 8:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:56
24. Posted by iwogisdead | May 15, 2009 8:59 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
In an effort to avoid crowded areas where Swine Flu may be acquired, Vice President Biden will be using this Talon Robot to transport his lunch from the office cafeteria.
24. Posted by iwogisdead | May 15, 2009 8:59 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 08:59
25. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 9:01 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Could this thing help Chuck stand up?
25. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 9:01 AM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:01
26. Posted by iwogisdead | May 15, 2009 9:02 AM | Score: 13 (13 votes cast)
Sure, sailor, we can use this robot to dismantle bombs, but only as long as it doesn't replace any union workers.
26. Posted by iwogisdead | May 15, 2009 9:02 AM |
Score: 13 (13 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:02
27. Posted by Mark L | May 15, 2009 9:03 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Biden: "You mean I can really take this army Segway for a spin? On the capabilities demonstration course? It doesn't take someone as brilliant as me to see what a great offer that is. Thanks!"
27. Posted by Mark L | May 15, 2009 9:03 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:03
28. Posted by pibill | May 15, 2009 9:06 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Soldier thinking while twiddling thumbs--"Again,just why in hell did I re-up?"
28. Posted by pibill | May 15, 2009 9:06 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:06
29. Posted by geo
| May 15, 2009 9:10 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
OK, one more time..what does this thing do?
29. Posted by geo
| May 15, 2009 9:10 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:10
30. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 9:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'll take a thousand. We can retool them to build Chrysler automobiles.
30. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | May 15, 2009 9:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:15
31. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:15 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
"You may not believe this, soldier, but I actually invented this magnificent machine to replace guys named 'Prakash' working at Seven Elevens and Dunkin' Donuts."
31. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:15 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:15
32. Posted by Eric | May 15, 2009 9:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Vice President Joe Biden inducts the latest member G/Sgt Number Five into the Biden Brigade, of Iraqi Vets Against War who never actually served in the military.
32. Posted by Eric | May 15, 2009 9:17 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:17
33. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:19 AM | Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
Biden: So what do we have here, some kind of lawnmower?
Soldier: No Sir, Mr. Vice President, this the latest Unmanned...
Biden: Unmanned huh, sort of like 7up - the UN-cola right?
Soldier: Well Mr Vice President, I am not sure about...
Biden: What do you think about this hat, pretty sweet huh?
Soldier: Yes Sir Mr Vice President..
Biden: Did I ever tell you about the time I told Dubya that he should turn around and look cause no one was following?
Soldier: No, but you might want to take a look in the rear view mirror yourself...
33. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:19 AM |
Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:19
34. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jo'Biden: "Barack Obama and Joe Biden are going to pay for the college education of these things, if they qualify".
34. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:19
35. Posted by Tango | May 15, 2009 9:21 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Where does the rubber glove go?"
35. Posted by Tango | May 15, 2009 9:21 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:21
36. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:24 AM | Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
Hey, uh, don't look now, but I think that one standing right behind me is a chick....
36. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:24 AM |
Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:24
37. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:29 AM | Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
If this thing can pick up all of the dog crap of the White House Lawn, what the heck I am I supposed to do all day?
37. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:29 AM |
Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:29
38. Posted by P. Bunyan | May 15, 2009 9:30 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
VP: Binden inspects the new generation of assault tanks that the Obama Defense Department has contracted with Obama/Chrystler/GM/UAW Motors to build for only $999,999.99 each.
Biden said, "Sure they're not quite as safe as the old models but they cost less and we need that money to pay for votes and bail out our campagn staffers at the major papers and broadcast networks--- Oh my God what am I talking about?"
38. Posted by P. Bunyan | May 15, 2009 9:30 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:30
39. Posted by WildWillie | May 15, 2009 9:30 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"Did you tell everyone here that I am the smartest man in the room?" ww
39. Posted by WildWillie | May 15, 2009 9:30 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:30
40. Posted by zipity | May 15, 2009 9:30 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"Yeah, I remember fighting against these robots back in 'Nam. Me and John Connor, against these relentless, unfeeling robots. Thank God we finally took out SkyNet."
40. Posted by zipity | May 15, 2009 9:30 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:30
41. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:36 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Soldier: The alarm you hear, sir, is its "CPBS".
Biden: What the *#%$ is a "CPBS"?
Soldier: A "Close Proximity Bullsh*t Sensor", sir. It went off when you walked up.
41. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:36 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:36
42. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:39 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
It can do almost anything, Mr. Biden, except keep a fool from saying foolish things.
42. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 9:39 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:39
43. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:39 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Know your Enema
43. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:39 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:39
44. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Keep you friends close... your enemas closer.
44. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:39 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:39
45. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:41 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
It's the new uparmored telepromtomatic 2000, in case Obama visits.
45. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:41 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:41
46. Posted by Justrand
| May 15, 2009 9:41 AM | Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
VP Biden: "I didn't know the Boy Scouts had this kind of firepower"
Soldier: "We're the ARMY, sir"
VP Biden: "So you're Dick Armey's kid...I served with Dick for many years in Congress"
Soldier: "Sir, if you could step around to the front, I'll show you how it operates..."
46. Posted by Justrand
| May 15, 2009 9:41 AM |
Score: 9 (9 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:41
47. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:44 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"No No Miss California lost 'cause she didn't think Perez Hilton should marry one of these..."
47. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:44 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:44
48. Posted by dave | May 15, 2009 9:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know how the adults talk in Charlie Brown cartoons...
48. Posted by dave | May 15, 2009 9:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:46
49. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So I set Dean Kamen down with Rumsfeld and told 'em who to make one of these suckers, Yep if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have these to ride around on."
49. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 9:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:48
50. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:53 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
........
25. I could shoot him
26. I could crush his larnyx.
27. I could snap his neck.
28. I could use my bayonet
29. I could suffocate him
........
50. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 9:53 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:53
51. Posted by Al Pennam | May 15, 2009 9:55 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Reminds me of 1914 watching FDR go on YouTube to unveil the first generation of these robot soldiers.
51. Posted by Al Pennam | May 15, 2009 9:55 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 09:55
52. Posted by Marie | May 15, 2009 10:03 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Here is the new scooter you ordered Mr. Vice President. Don't forget to wear your helmet.
52. Posted by Marie | May 15, 2009 10:03 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:03
53. Posted by Anon Y. Mous | May 15, 2009 10:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
How's this soldier, we run this by the gang over at sexmachine.com and I'll cut you in for half the profits?
53. Posted by Anon Y. Mous | May 15, 2009 10:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:03
54. Posted by Pretzel Logic | May 15, 2009 10:11 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Remember son, I was not briefed on this, understand?
54. Posted by Pretzel Logic | May 15, 2009 10:11 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:11
55. Posted by Al Pennam | May 15, 2009 10:14 AM | Score: 11 (15 votes cast)
One of these is a cold, soulless automaton; its behavior strictly governed by its programming; member of a group which may someday rise up to enslave all of mankind.
The other's a robot.
55. Posted by Al Pennam | May 15, 2009 10:14 AM |
Score: 11 (15 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:14
56. Posted by GarandFan | May 15, 2009 10:16 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
I drove a tank like that at Bastonge. Killed a lot of Japs before I ran out of bullets.
56. Posted by GarandFan | May 15, 2009 10:16 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:16
57. Posted by iwogisdead | May 15, 2009 10:18 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
No, really, the President relies on my advice. I'm not kidding, I'm one of the President's closest military advisors. Seriously, I'm always sitting in on key meetings with the President. I talk to the President every day about great big important issues. Really . . .
57. Posted by iwogisdead | May 15, 2009 10:18 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:18
58. Posted by Buckhunter | May 15, 2009 10:19 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Wow.. with this baby dead people won't have to vote for us anymore.."
58. Posted by Buckhunter | May 15, 2009 10:19 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:19
59. Posted by DJ Drummond | May 15, 2009 10:28 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"Look, I know these aren't the tanks you said you needed, but it was cut back here or cut back on Air Force One fly-by's in New York ..."
59. Posted by DJ Drummond | May 15, 2009 10:28 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:28
60. Posted by twolaneflash | May 15, 2009 10:28 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
If it's true you named this thing "PLUGS", I'm going to have your ass, soldier. What do you think I'm hiding under this stupid hat?
60. Posted by twolaneflash | May 15, 2009 10:28 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:28
61. Posted by Heralder | May 15, 2009 10:33 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
President Barack Obama sends Vice President Joe Biden to contract and test his new teleprompter, TP-209, which actually has a claw to reach up and move the President's jaw to match with the words being displayed.
White House press Secretary Robert Gibbs has reportedly filed a request to add an additonal arm that will confiscate cell phones.
61. Posted by Heralder | May 15, 2009 10:33 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:33
62. Posted by Jack Lind | May 15, 2009 10:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
......"Son, would you take a minute and show me how to ride this Segway here?"
62. Posted by Jack Lind | May 15, 2009 10:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:36
63. Posted by CDR M | May 15, 2009 10:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Does this thing dispense dijon mustard? You know, for us average Joe hamburger eaters.
63. Posted by CDR M | May 15, 2009 10:42 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:42
64. Posted by CDR M | May 15, 2009 10:43 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Is this Muslim friendly?
64. Posted by CDR M | May 15, 2009 10:43 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:43
65. Posted by Brad | May 15, 2009 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You mean this is the Dukakis Tank? Wow, he was more than just a mental midget!"
65. Posted by Brad | May 15, 2009 10:44 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:44
66. Posted by SILVER BULLET | May 15, 2009 10:53 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Now soldier, I know about the shrinking dollar but a shrunken tank!...Now really!"
66. Posted by SILVER BULLET | May 15, 2009 10:53 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:53
67. Posted by LIndy R. Dole | May 15, 2009 10:55 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"I hear the Secretary of State used one of these to shave her legs, and wrecked'em."
67. Posted by LIndy R. Dole | May 15, 2009 10:55 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:55
68. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"We outsourced all the labor to India for these puppies, so you know the quality is top notch."
68. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 10:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 10:58
69. Posted by BluesHarper | May 15, 2009 11:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So..., you guys used this in Nam?
69. Posted by BluesHarper | May 15, 2009 11:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:04
70. Posted by jpo | May 15, 2009 11:11 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Biden: Just so we're clear this is not be used to slaugther innocent women and children. O.K.?
Soldier Thought Bubble: Well, you're not a woman, child, or innocent you dumb f***, so....
70. Posted by jpo | May 15, 2009 11:11 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:11
71. Posted by jpo | May 15, 2009 11:17 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
This is what the CIA wants to use to replace waterboarding? It's much more effective? And it goes where? O.K., so if anyone asks, I was never informed of this nor provided the opportunity to register my opinion/protest.
71. Posted by jpo | May 15, 2009 11:17 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:17
72. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 11:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Frankly, I don't know how it would look in
'I ❤ NY' underware."
72. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 11:18 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:18
73. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 11:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well son, not harm was done, I'll talk to the Colonel and see he'll just drop the charges to -- just following too close"
73. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 11:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:27
74. Posted by wheels | May 15, 2009 11:44 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"I had one of these when I was younger, son, so don't tell me what they can and cannot do! Now, how come the clowns aren't coming out?"
74. Posted by wheels | May 15, 2009 11:44 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:44
75. Posted by LaMedusa | May 15, 2009 11:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I appreciate the hat, son, but Project Joystick was supposed to come with a manual, too. We can't have fun if we don't know how to work the damn thing!"
75. Posted by LaMedusa | May 15, 2009 11:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 11:46
76. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 12:00 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Ya know son, the Jetsons had lots of robots, Oh and those guys on Lost in Space, always liked that show, "Danger Will Robinson" - remember that soldier? Darn handy Robot to have around if you ask me. That was a show by golly. I want Nasa to land an astronaut on Jupiter, maybe we should send a robot with them. Hey thats a great idea if I do say so myself, I'm going to talk to the Big Guy about that.....
76. Posted by IowaRight | May 15, 2009 12:00 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 12:00
77. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 12:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Okay, where is the seat for my GI Joe?
77. Posted by Jeff | May 15, 2009 12:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 12:15
78. Posted by Master Shake | May 15, 2009 12:25 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"How do you fit inside that tank?"
78. Posted by Master Shake | May 15, 2009 12:25 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 12:25
79. Posted by JB | May 15, 2009 12:35 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Soldier: "No sir. That's just a myth about the black man. We named it 'The Obama' because of his big ego."
79. Posted by JB | May 15, 2009 12:35 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 12:35
80. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 12:36 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
"So then Pelosi said it was OK to have this as long as you actually didn't use it?"
80. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 12:36 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 12:36
81. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 1:05 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Joe: "So then when ran this up behind Ted Kennedy too fast...and waggled the barrel... well it was the most animated we'd seen him in a long."
81. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 1:05 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 13:05
82. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 1:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Joe: "So then when ran this up behind Ted Kennedy too fast...and waggled the barrel... well it was the most animated we'd seen him in a long time."
(corrected)
82. Posted by rodney dill | May 15, 2009 1:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 13:10
83. Posted by JB | May 15, 2009 1:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Biden: "I'll take it but you need to throw in a helmet and some of those cool decals."
83. Posted by JB | May 15, 2009 1:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 13:13
84. Posted by Stephen Macklin | May 15, 2009 1:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Can I be in the movie? I now all the words to "Who is Johnny."
84. Posted by Stephen Macklin | May 15, 2009 1:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 13:31
85. Posted by 914 | May 15, 2009 2:13 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Michael Dukakis I love You
85. Posted by 914 | May 15, 2009 2:13 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 14:13
86. Posted by Maggie Mama | May 15, 2009 2:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'll take this one 'cause I have reason to believe Speaker Pelosi will soon be looking for a new job and may set her sights on mine.
86. Posted by Maggie Mama | May 15, 2009 2:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 14:19
87. Posted by Maggie Mama | May 15, 2009 2:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I didn't quite catch what the Admiral said to me.....something about the scrambled eggs on my cap or did he say on my shirt?
87. Posted by Maggie Mama | May 15, 2009 2:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 14:22
88. Posted by LaMedusa | May 15, 2009 3:08 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Hey, kid, did you hear about the army psychiatrist and proctologist who shared office space? They put up a sign that read, Specializing in Odd Ends and Weak Ends."
88. Posted by LaMedusa | May 15, 2009 3:08 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 15:08
89. Posted by Timmer | May 15, 2009 3:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know...I saw one of these in a movie recently...you know the one I'm talking about? With the French Maid and the Sailor?
89. Posted by Timmer | May 15, 2009 3:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 15:52
90. Posted by Timmer | May 15, 2009 3:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Domo arigato Mr. Roboto." Remember that? Huh, do ya? I bet you sing when this is done with ya. Do you sing? Sing like Adam Lambert? Don't leave now.
90. Posted by Timmer | May 15, 2009 3:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 15:56
91. Posted by Michelle | May 15, 2009 4:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Son, listen up. I am not Dick Cheney, but I might shoot you in the face anyway.
91. Posted by Michelle | May 15, 2009 4:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 16:04
92. Posted by Faith+1 | May 15, 2009 4:17 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Well that's just great son, but how do you expect to hunt all them swine with flu with just this one tank-thingamajig? I remember I once spoke a fella about putting treads on a robot. They made a TV series out of it. Tracked robot going around screaming "Danger! Danger" and now they built this thing I invented. They ought to call it the Biden. I'm brilliant I tell ya. Where's the bathroom?
92. Posted by Faith+1 | May 15, 2009 4:17 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 16:17
93. Posted by Ken in Camarillo | May 15, 2009 4:21 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
This new down-sized Chrysler product is da bomb!
And the government is standing behind the warranty!
93. Posted by Ken in Camarillo | May 15, 2009 4:21 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 16:21
94. Posted by Modo | May 15, 2009 5:04 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Can you strap a chair onto that thing? I still owe Chuck Graham an apology.
94. Posted by Modo | May 15, 2009 5:04 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 17:04
95. Posted by retired military | May 15, 2009 5:46 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Biden - So this is our new robot. Why doesnt it have breasts and great hair like that Japanese one?
95. Posted by retired military | May 15, 2009 5:46 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 17:46
96. Posted by tim mcfall | May 15, 2009 5:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So let me get this straight, I can use this thing instead of the train to get to work and back and that laser thingy on front will zap any swine flu bug that comes near me?
96. Posted by tim mcfall | May 15, 2009 5:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 17:47
97. Posted by retired military | May 15, 2009 6:08 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Biden - "Hey when the war is over we can always convert these to scooters for AARP"
97. Posted by retired military | May 15, 2009 6:08 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 18:08
98. Posted by RadiCalMan | May 15, 2009 6:27 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
RoboBiden!
98. Posted by RadiCalMan | May 15, 2009 6:27 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 18:27
99. Posted by retired military | May 15, 2009 6:43 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Biden - " ROBOT?? I thought this was the anal probe that Pelosi keeps talking about"
99. Posted by retired military | May 15, 2009 6:43 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 18:43
100. Posted by 914 | May 15, 2009 7:55 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Sit and spin Mr. Biden. Sit and spin.
100. Posted by 914 | May 15, 2009 7:55 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 19:55
101. Posted by vader06 | May 15, 2009 7:55 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"You know son...before Al Gore invented the Internet...I invented this thingamajig..."
101. Posted by vader06 | May 15, 2009 7:55 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 19:55
102. Posted by Corky Boyd | May 15, 2009 7:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Son, Obama has ordered 50,000 of these thingies for his new Afghanistan surge.
102. Posted by Corky Boyd | May 15, 2009 7:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 19:56
103. Posted by Dodo David | May 15, 2009 8:07 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Soldier: "I'm sorry, Mr. Vice-President. The robot can defuse bombs, but it can't defuse the stupid statements that come out of your mouth."
103. Posted by Dodo David | May 15, 2009 8:07 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 20:07
104. Posted by Maggie Mama | May 15, 2009 8:37 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Did you know, sailor, that I wrote a term paper on the development of these babies back in my freshman year?
104. Posted by Maggie Mama | May 15, 2009 8:37 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 20:37
105. Posted by Nylda | May 15, 2009 8:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"As long as this doesn't turn into a Michael Dukakis tank moment for me, I'm cool with it."
105. Posted by Nylda | May 15, 2009 8:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 20:45
106. Posted by sarahconnor2 | May 15, 2009 9:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"It must be broken. I told it to point to the smartest person in the room."
"Whatever you say, sir."
106. Posted by sarahconnor2 | May 15, 2009 9:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 21:51
107. Posted by Mick | May 15, 2009 11:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So this thing will obliterate anyone with flu symptoms in a 10 foot radius of anyone in my family?
107. Posted by Mick | May 15, 2009 11:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 23:04
108. Posted by Robert L | May 15, 2009 11:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've ridden a Segway before, no problem.
Or,
Where's the other one for my left foot?
108. Posted by Robert L | May 15, 2009 11:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 23:39
109. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 11:53 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
No, sir, it's not designed to serve subpoenas; it's designed to kill people and break things.
109. Posted by Spike | May 15, 2009 11:53 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on May 15, 2009 23:53
110. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:00 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Well, Pelosi's radioactive, can we use this thing on her?
110. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:00 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 00:00
111. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:04 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Look at me when I'm talking to you soldier. I'm your Vice Commander in Chief!
111. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:04 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 00:04
112. Posted by RicardoVerde | May 16, 2009 12:04 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Nice equipment soldier, but can you make it give me back my tie?
112. Posted by RicardoVerde | May 16, 2009 12:04 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 00:04
113. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:08 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
And this environmentally friendly tank is part of our master plan to create the world's first green military.
113. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:08 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 00:08
114. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:15 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
It's called the "Biden Fighting Vehicle"...
Because?
Well, it's very light on the top.
114. Posted by fustian | May 16, 2009 12:15 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 00:15
115. Posted by Synova | May 16, 2009 2:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I never have the first idea for these but this time it just popped into my head...
"Cheney never had one that size. I'll take it."
... because it's waaaaay past my bed time.
115. Posted by Synova | May 16, 2009 2:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 02:11
116. Posted by rodney dill | May 16, 2009 9:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well I fancy I'm pretty good at this Army jargon, so just what does this OMGWTFBBQ unit you were telling me about do anyway?"
116. Posted by rodney dill | May 16, 2009 9:47 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 09:47
117. Posted by rodney dill | May 16, 2009 9:54 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Joe: "Sometime son, I amaze even myself."
117. Posted by rodney dill | May 16, 2009 9:54 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 09:54
118. Posted by rodney dill | May 16, 2009 10:15 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Wun't a stick just be better for getting the marshmallows close to the fire""
118. Posted by rodney dill | May 16, 2009 10:15 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 10:15
119. Posted by 914 | May 16, 2009 12:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Im sorry Mr. Biden, the Talons sensitivity setting was accidentally changed to "gaff detector mode" and hit on You immediately.
119. Posted by 914 | May 16, 2009 12:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 12:05
120. Posted by retired military | May 16, 2009 6:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Biden - "So last week when you showed this to Ms Pelosi you said you have a slight mishap"
Soldier - "Yes Sir."
Biden - "Well dont let it bother you son, her face looked like that before your little accident".
120. Posted by retired military | May 16, 2009 6:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 18:40
121. Posted by William d'Inger | May 16, 2009 8:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
That's all well and good, soldier, but you still have to remove the "Made in Canada" sticker.
121. Posted by William d'Inger | May 16, 2009 8:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 20:08
122. Posted by Mike G in Corvallis | May 16, 2009 11:30 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
The Pentagon unveils the KY-20 Assault Skateboard.
122. Posted by Mike G in Corvallis | May 16, 2009 11:30 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2009 23:30
123. Posted by retired military | May 17, 2009 1:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Biden - "So tell me again where the seat is son"
Soldier - "The black pole in the rear sir"
Biden "not in the front but in the rear"?
Soldier - "That's the idea sir"
123. Posted by retired military | May 17, 2009 1:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 17, 2009 13:39
124. Posted by RadiCalMan | May 17, 2009 3:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You know son, I think that if I stick this in my mouth, it might taste better than my foot!?"
124. Posted by RadiCalMan | May 17, 2009 3:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 17, 2009 15:59
125. Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey | May 17, 2009 9:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Don't tell that Navy guy standing behind me, but I need a new super-sekrit bunker. Does the army have anything it can show me?
125. Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey | May 17, 2009 9:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 17, 2009 21:19
126. Posted by DB | May 17, 2009 9:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Biden: I wonder if Chuck could use one of these.
126. Posted by DB | May 17, 2009 9:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 17, 2009 21:43
127. Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey | May 17, 2009 9:58 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
But seriously, if you were in an elevator with me, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, and had a full magazine, what would you do?
127. Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey | May 17, 2009 9:58 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 17, 2009 21:58
128. Posted by rodney dill | May 17, 2009 10:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I'm just glad you knew the Heimlich maneuver, son."
128. Posted by rodney dill | May 17, 2009 10:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 17, 2009 22:37
129. Posted by Kevin
| May 18, 2009 1:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Click the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
129. Posted by Kevin
| May 18, 2009 1:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 18, 2009 01:36