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Comments (127)
Obama - "You know Jay, ther... (Below threshold)1. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:24 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Obama - "You know Jay, there are 18 million Hillary voters who are tearing their hair out right about now"
1. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:24 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:24
2. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:25 AM | Score: 5 (9 votes cast)
Obama - "So you want to be on my cabinet? Got any tax troubles?"
2. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:25 AM |
Score: 5 (9 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:25
3. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:26 AM | Score: 18 (20 votes cast)
Obama - "I thought it was quite appropriate to come on a late night comedy show to explain my plan to save America"
3. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:26 AM |
Score: 18 (20 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:26
4. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:26 AM | Score: 39 (43 votes cast)
A late night comic looks at one of the biggest jokes in history.
4. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:26 AM |
Score: 39 (43 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:26
5. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:27 AM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Obama - "hahahah I'm telling you Jay, I got a trillion of them. Well three and a half trillion to be exact"
5. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:27 AM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:27
6. Posted by iwogisdead | March 20, 2009 7:30 AM | Score: 26 (28 votes cast)
Jay, don't lean so far forward. I can't see the teleprompter screen.
6. Posted by iwogisdead | March 20, 2009 7:30 AM |
Score: 26 (28 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:30
7. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:31 AM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Obama: "I've upped the ethics standards for corporate America."
Leno: "So now, up yours."
7. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:31 AM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:31
8. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | March 20, 2009 7:32 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Take my wife. Please.
8. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | March 20, 2009 7:32 AM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:32
9. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:32 AM | Score: 23 (23 votes cast)
Obama: "So what will America think of my appearance here?"
Leno: "Nero comes to mind."
9. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:32 AM |
Score: 23 (23 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:32
10. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:33 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
"No I haven't solved the economic crisis yet, but I did get my March Madness Bracket pinned down."
10. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:33 AM |
Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:33
11. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:35 AM | Score: 3 (7 votes cast)
Whats in your wallet?
11. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:35 AM |
Score: 3 (7 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:35
12. Posted by sarahconnor2 | March 20, 2009 7:39 AM | Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
"Did you hear the one about the intellectual lightweight, who had no executive experience, and was elected president?"
12. Posted by sarahconnor2 | March 20, 2009 7:39 AM |
Score: 8 (10 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:39
13. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:42 AM | Score: 7 (9 votes cast)
"We're also thinking of raising revenues by a windfall chin tax, Jay..."
J.
13. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:42 AM |
Score: 7 (9 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:42
14. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:43 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
"Speaking of the Special Olympics, Jay, think any of them have tax problems? 'Cuz I still have quite a few Cabinet slots to fill..."
J.
14. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:43 AM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:43
15. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:44 AM | Score: 36 (38 votes cast)
"Quite frankly, you'd think the Special Olympics people would cut me a LITTLE slack. After all, I picked Biden for my running mate!"
J.
15. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:44 AM |
Score: 36 (38 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:44
16. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:46 AM | Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Oh, the huge vanity.
16. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 7:46 AM |
Score: 2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:46
17. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:47 AM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
The dangers of working off a Teleprompter: Obama delivered the "Hey, Jay, pull my finger!" line perfectly, but neglected to offer only a single digit for tugging.
J.
17. Posted by Jay Tea | March 20, 2009 7:47 AM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:47
18. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:49 AM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Obama "Man the miracles they can do with modern technology. I dont know how those guys pulled off putting a miniteleprompter on your chin but I can read it perfectly."
18. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:49 AM |
Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:49
19. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:56 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Obama - "Jay, I absolutely think that Michelle's work out routine would do wonders for your chin"
19. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:56 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:56
20. Posted by Dos | March 20, 2009 7:57 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"Well, Jay... I'd just like to say, er uh, that I, uh, had my fingers crossed behind my back every time I talked about that, uh, you know, transparency thing."
20. Posted by Dos | March 20, 2009 7:57 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:57
21. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:58 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Leno - "Is it true you dont go anywhere without your teleprompter?"
Obama - "Can you move your head to the right a little please, you are blocking my view"
21. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 7:58 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 07:58
22. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 8:01 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
I've always wanted to come on the David Letterman show since....oh...I could read a teleprompter.
22. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 8:01 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:01
23. Posted by Tom10000 | March 20, 2009 8:02 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Just between you and me, Jay, Biden's not the dumbest one in this administration - at least he doesn't have to rely on a teleprompter like some of us.
23. Posted by Tom10000 | March 20, 2009 8:02 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:02
24. Posted by John | March 20, 2009 8:10 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Yeah, like the Special Olympics. And Jay, when I do get a strike, I run around shouting "Frank and beans! Frank and beans!"
24. Posted by John | March 20, 2009 8:10 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:10
25. Posted by Adrian Browne | March 20, 2009 8:15 AM | Score: -39 (39 votes cast)
Obama makes jokes at the expense of retarded folks. Bush executes them.
25. Posted by Adrian Browne | March 20, 2009 8:15 AM |
Score: -39 (39 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:15
26. Posted by jim2 | March 20, 2009 8:19 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
"A deeper bow than that, Jay. As Saint Pelosi saith: 'Elections have consequences'."
26. Posted by jim2 | March 20, 2009 8:19 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:19
27. Posted by tomg51 | March 20, 2009 8:19 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"The Unicorn Salesman"
27. Posted by tomg51 | March 20, 2009 8:19 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:19
28. Posted by exceller | March 20, 2009 8:19 AM | Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Leno: Mr. President seriously, why did you decide to do The Tonight Show.
Obama: I thought it was the best way to speak directly to my base.
Leno: Your base sir?
Obama: Yes, morons.
28. Posted by exceller | March 20, 2009 8:19 AM |
Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:19
29. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:22 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Obama - "So then I thought, well if Jimmy Carter can do it for 4 years why not me? Boy was I wrong"
29. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:22 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:22
30. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:24 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Obama - "I am living proof that you can get 50 million people to vote for just about anything"
30. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:24 AM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:24
31. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:25 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
"You know Jay there are a lot of people in this country that dont think I can do this job"
Thought bubble
' and two of them are on this stage right now'
31. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:25 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:25
32. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:26 AM | Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Leno - "So how can I get a $5 million dollar bonus paid for by the taxpayers"
Obama - "Well a $100,000 check with my name on it is a good start"
32. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:26 AM |
Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:26
33. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Obama - "You you know, with a funny moustache and some glasses you and Barney Frank could be brothers"
33. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:29
34. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:29 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Obama - "So I told Michelle 'With your arms and my pecs we can go places'"
34. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:29 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:29
35. Posted by Gmac | March 20, 2009 8:33 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
If you pull my finger I fart rainbows and if you believe that I've got a trillion more.
35. Posted by Gmac | March 20, 2009 8:33 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:33
36. Posted by WildWillie | March 20, 2009 8:37 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
"Jay, please help. I have no idea what I am doing." ww
36. Posted by WildWillie | March 20, 2009 8:37 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:37
37. Posted by Mark L | March 20, 2009 8:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, Jay. Really. Pull my finger.
37. Posted by Mark L | March 20, 2009 8:39 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:39
38. Posted by Swanny | March 20, 2009 8:46 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
C'mon, Jay, like anyone really cares about retatds. The little brats haven't given dime one to me, so eff them. What? The mic is on? Oh that wasn't me, it was a recording on this digital recorder I always carry with me in case if just such eventualities.
38. Posted by Swanny | March 20, 2009 8:46 AM |
Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:46
39. Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey | March 20, 2009 8:47 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Bambi: And when I'm elected President, I will pass a law outlawing more than one car per person.
Jay: But you are President -and I have two hundred cars.
Bambi: I am? Then what am I doing on late-night TV? Oh, and about the cars thing, doesn't apply to "Friends of Obama". I'll pass a new law for that one.
39. Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey | March 20, 2009 8:47 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:47
40. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 8:51 AM | Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Leno: "No really... your teleprompter IS my next guest."
40. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 8:51 AM |
Score: 10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:51
41. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:54 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Jay you may be the king of late night but I am the Messiah"
41. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:54 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:54
42. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:55 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Leno - "So what do you say when people call you Messiah"
Obama - "I'm listening"
42. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:55 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:55
43. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:56 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Leno - "What do you say to people when they say you are trying to socialize America?"
Obama - "Shhhhh"
43. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:56 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:56
44. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Leno - "what do you say when people like Harry Reid tell you they dont work for you?"
Obama - "That slaves dont get paid"
44. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 8:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 08:57
45. Posted by Tango | March 20, 2009 9:00 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"There was this one time at band camp."
45. Posted by Tango | March 20, 2009 9:00 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:00
46. Posted by DJ Drummond | March 20, 2009 9:01 AM | Score: 17 (17 votes cast)
Those who can, do.
Those who can't, do talk shows.
46. Posted by DJ Drummond | March 20, 2009 9:01 AM |
Score: 17 (17 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:01
47. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 9:01 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"Take my Mdm. Speaker, Please."
47. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 9:01 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:01
48. Posted by Jeff | March 20, 2009 9:02 AM | Score: -5 (9 votes cast)
...so a sand nigger and a jew walk into a bar...
48. Posted by Jeff | March 20, 2009 9:02 AM |
Score: -5 (9 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:02
49. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pull my finger.
49. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:03
50. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:04 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jay, can you move your head just a bit, I can't see the teleprompter.
50. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:04 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:04
51. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 9:04 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Obama: "Yes, part of my plan will affect how veterans will pay for their healthcare."
Leno: "Uh... Stupid Vet Tricks belong on Letterman."
51. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 9:04 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:04
52. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:05 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Jay:
With all due respect Mr. President, I think you're in way over your head.
52. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:05 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:05
53. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:07 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
How DID you get elected?
53. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:07 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:07
54. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:08 AM | Score: 23 (25 votes cast)
Leno - "Sorry for the delay Mr President, my cue cards got dropped on the floor. Now for some questions"
" How are Michelle and the kids handling the transition to the White House"
Obama (reading Teleprompter) - "I'm doing great Jay"
Leno - "And umm how are you handling the job of President"
Obama (reading Teleprompter) - "Michelle and the kids love the White House"
Leno - "How long do you think the economic stimulus plan will take to work?"
Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "The full 8 years"
Leno - "How long do you plan to be President"
Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "About a year or so"
Leno - "What do you say to your critics like Rush Limbaugh"
Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "They love me"
Leno - "ummm How about your constituents"
Obama(reading Teleprompter) - "Sniveling cowards that dont deesrve the time of day"
Leno - "How long until we are out of Iraq completely?"
Obama (reading Teleprompter)- "hopefully not in our lifetime"
Leno "Do you think the govt in Iraq will fail?"
Obama (reading Teleprompter)- "I would give it another 2 years or so."
54. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:08 AM |
Score: 23 (25 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:08
55. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thanks Jay, I just HAD to get out of the house, the little woman is on a rampage these days.
55. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 9:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:09
56. Posted by iwogisdead | March 20, 2009 9:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So, there's going to be a change in my cabinet. Do you know any Democrats who can spell "Treasury" and are paid up on their taxes?
56. Posted by iwogisdead | March 20, 2009 9:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:11
57. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 9:12 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Obama: "So who does my Presidency bring to mind?"
Leno: "Dan Quayle."
57. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 9:12 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:12
58. Posted by chsw | March 20, 2009 9:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I am the Special Olympics President..."
"Talking to you is much easier than Putin..."
"Your new show can get bailout money."
chsw
58. Posted by chsw | March 20, 2009 9:14 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:14
59. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:15 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay, next time I am on can you get some of those animals from the zoo? Maybe one of them could pee on me - the folks will eat that up!
59. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:15 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:15
60. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:16 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Leno - "So how does your family like living in Washington Dc."
Obama - "Didnt my aides tell you, I will only answer approved questions"
60. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:16 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:16
61. Posted by guido | March 20, 2009 9:17 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Before coming over here to do your show, Jay, I was a contestant on The Price Is Right. I overbid on the Showcase Showdown by just over $3 Trillion. They still gave me the prize at my insistence and after I pointed out that George Bush created this Showcase Showdown mess and that how unfair it would be to deny me something that I did not earn.
61. Posted by guido | March 20, 2009 9:17 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:17
62. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:17 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
"Jay, has anyone ever told you that your chin looks just like Barney Frank's butt?"
62. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:17 AM |
Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:17
63. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:19 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Obama - "Jay, Here's a joke. What is the difference between Chris Dodd and a little, albeit tiny bit of pork?"
Leno - "I dont know"
Obama - "the size"
63. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 9:19 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:19
64. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:19 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Jay, you can't imagine it. There are people in and out of my office all day long, and every one of them expects me to make decisions! Like I am supposed to know what to do! I just had to get out of there for a couple of days.
64. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:19 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:19
65. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:20 AM | Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Jay, when we come back from the break, ask me about bowling - I have been working all day on a couple of zingers......
65. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:20 AM |
Score: 8 (8 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:20
66. Posted by Marie | March 20, 2009 9:24 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
"So, a Priest, a Rabbi and a Retard walk into a bar..."
66. Posted by Marie | March 20, 2009 9:24 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:24
67. Posted by Jennifer | March 20, 2009 9:27 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Can you keep a secret Jay? I really am Muslim, I wasn't born in the USA, I am the anti- Christ, but guess what? The Liberals want to appear progressive and not racist, so they won't let anyone call me on these things.
"Ain't life grand?"
67. Posted by Jennifer | March 20, 2009 9:27 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:27
68. Posted by P. Bunyan | March 20, 2009 9:27 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Obama: "Now, Jay, le-le-le-le-le-let, um, let me be straight with ya..."
Leno: "Say, that really would be a change!"
68. Posted by P. Bunyan | March 20, 2009 9:27 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:27
69. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 9:28 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Giant chin and giant asshole meet face to face.
69. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 9:28 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:28
70. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:29 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
...and Jay ya know Bowling is not the only thing that makes me feel that way, this Economics stuff - yikes!
70. Posted by IowaRight | March 20, 2009 9:29 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:29
71. Posted by tomg51 | March 20, 2009 9:33 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
When E.F. Hutton talks.....
Say, whatever happened to them?
71. Posted by tomg51 | March 20, 2009 9:33 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:33
72. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 9:34 AM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
"President Obama, thank you for taking time out of your schedule to come talk with us today. Everybody give it up for President Obama...uh...ummmm...I think I'm reading your lines, Jay."
72. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 9:34 AM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:34
73. Posted by Justrand
| March 20, 2009 9:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Obama defends the Media's sycophantic "reporting" of him as just the Presidential equivalent of a Sit-Com Laugh-Track..."hey it's all about making people feel good!"
73. Posted by Justrand
| March 20, 2009 9:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:36
74. Posted by braininahat | March 20, 2009 9:36 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Obama"Jay, hypothetically, say I was gonna confiscate one of your cars, which one would you confiscate it you were me?"
74. Posted by braininahat | March 20, 2009 9:36 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:36
75. Posted by joe | March 20, 2009 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Of course Jay! Keep driving the Hummer! That hybrid talk is meant for the suckers. Like your audience.
75. Posted by joe | March 20, 2009 9:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:43
76. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 9:43 AM | Score: 16 (16 votes cast)
Compared to your White House Transition, the special olympics looks like a MENSA rally.
76. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 9:43 AM |
Score: 16 (16 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:43
77. Posted by Maggie Mama | March 20, 2009 9:46 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Leno: "What have you learned in your first days in office?"
Obama: "Because I'm so good at it, I've decided that I prefer campaigning over actually governing."
77. Posted by Maggie Mama | March 20, 2009 9:46 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:46
78. Posted by JB | March 20, 2009 9:54 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
One guy makes us laugh until we cry.
The other guy is Jay Leno.
78. Posted by JB | March 20, 2009 9:54 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 09:54
79. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 10:00 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Atlas changes the channel.
79. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 10:00 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 10:00
80. Posted by mojo | March 20, 2009 10:34 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I got one for ya - a fag, a retard and an Irishman walk into a bar..."
80. Posted by mojo | March 20, 2009 10:34 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 10:34
81. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 10:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Don't quit your day job, Mr. President.
On second thought...
81. Posted by Al Pennam | March 20, 2009 10:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 10:46
82. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 10:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Obama: "Ya see, the economy really is fundamentally strong."
82. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 10:51 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 10:51
83. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 10:52 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Leno: "So what's your real secret?"
Obama: "...uh.. never go full retard."
83. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 10:52 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 10:52
84. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 10:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Leno playing the Great Karnak
"Answer - Maybe his shoulders were tired"
Question - "What does President Obama think of Atlas Shrugged"
84. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 10:55 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 10:55
85. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 11:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Leno - "So do you think people have their expectations too high as fas you handling the economic crisis swiftly?"
Obama - "Jay, I have only been President for 2 months, people should at least give me a chance to get a cabinet picked out, then we can start dealing with things left over from last year's business."
85. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 11:11 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:11
86. Posted by fustian | March 20, 2009 11:17 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Jay, here's the deal. I gonna rob you blind. By the time my administration is through with you, there'll be no mansions, there'll be no fancy cars. I going to take every dollar you have and give it to welfare queens, illegal aliens and muslim outreach organizations.
And here's the amazing thing. You VOTED FOR ME!
Jay, have you ever heard the phrase "useful idiot"?
86. Posted by fustian | March 20, 2009 11:17 AM |
Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:17
87. Posted by GarandFan | March 20, 2009 11:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So whatta ya think Jay, in the spirit of 'shared patriotism', we all start calling one another "comrade". Neat, huh?
87. Posted by GarandFan | March 20, 2009 11:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:26
88. Posted by Colorado Right
| March 20, 2009 11:34 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Running America isn't so tough. You just do what the teleprompter says.
88. Posted by Colorado Right
| March 20, 2009 11:34 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:34
89. Posted by bigbugna | March 20, 2009 11:43 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
No matter what coach K say's, Duke will not make it past the second round.
89. Posted by bigbugna | March 20, 2009 11:43 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:43
90. Posted by guido | March 20, 2009 11:56 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Jay, I just flew in from Washington and, boy, are Chris Matthews's arms tired.
90. Posted by guido | March 20, 2009 11:56 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:56
91. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 11:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Here we have a comedian sitting next to Jay Leno.
91. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 11:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:57
92. Posted by guido | March 20, 2009 11:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I had a very nice flight out here, Jay. Unlike Nancy Pelosi, I have no trouble getting a ride from the US Air Force.
92. Posted by guido | March 20, 2009 11:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 11:59
93. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 12:00 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Leno - So President Obama what was the first thing you thought of when you heard that the UN wants to impose a $750 billion tax on oil?"
Obama - "Why didnt I think of that"
93. Posted by retired military | March 20, 2009 12:00 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 12:00
94. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 12:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
~Hes the teleprompter wizard there has to be a trick
A teleprompter wizards got such a supple wrist~
94. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 12:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 12:49
95. Posted by Weegie | March 20, 2009 2:01 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jay: "Mr. President, you can stop campaigning now and simply govern."
Big O: "No, Jay, you don't understand. The teleprompter won't let me!"
95. Posted by Weegie | March 20, 2009 2:01 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 14:01
96. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 2:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Leno: "Gotta minute? ... Tell me everything you know."
96. Posted by rodney dill | March 20, 2009 2:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 14:18
97. Posted by a. moral | March 20, 2009 2:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is the mike off? Seriously Jay, I don't have a freakin' clue what doing.
97. Posted by a. moral | March 20, 2009 2:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 14:36
98. Posted by Kathy | March 20, 2009 2:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I wanted to be on Letterman, it's all Bush's fault I ended up here."
"Your chin, Leno, that was Bush's fault, too."
"And the DVDs to Gordon Brown, Bush did it."
98. Posted by Kathy | March 20, 2009 2:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 14:46
99. Posted by CZ | March 20, 2009 2:49 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
You think that's funny? Wait till you see my carbon on your car collection.
99. Posted by CZ | March 20, 2009 2:49 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 14:49
100. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 3:17 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Naivete and a guy named Jay.
100. Posted by Pretzel Logic | March 20, 2009 3:17 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 15:17
101. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 3:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Obama: Im sorry Jay, but all those special olmypic comedy competitions are going to be taxed at 85% to make up for the AIG bonuses that Me and My colleagues supported.
101. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 3:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 15:20
102. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 3:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Alex Haley could not be reached for comment
102. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 3:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 15:25
103. Posted by kbiel
| March 20, 2009 3:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pull my finger. Trust me, it smells like roses.
103. Posted by kbiel
| March 20, 2009 3:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 15:26
104. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 3:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chariots of unteleprompted fire
104. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 3:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 15:29
105. Posted by Peter F. | March 20, 2009 4:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"....so, we've got this in the Cabinet named Mongo...or, as you know him, Joe Biden..."
105. Posted by Peter F. | March 20, 2009 4:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 16:08
106. Posted by Jeff | March 20, 2009 4:42 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
...so this retarded Jew walks into a bowling alley...
106. Posted by Jeff | March 20, 2009 4:42 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 16:42
107. Posted by Just Plain Bill | March 20, 2009 5:06 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
"Actually Jay,just between you and me, I don't have a clue as to what I am doing".
107. Posted by Just Plain Bill | March 20, 2009 5:06 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 17:06
108. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 7:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay...pinch Me when its over
108. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 7:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 19:30
109. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 7:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I do have a good one, Jay. Did you hear the one about the person who voted for 'Hope' and 'Change'?"
109. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 7:32 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 19:32
110. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 7:34 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
What I meant to say Jay was even that Corky kid from life goes on could run the Country better than Me.
110. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 7:34 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 19:34
111. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | March 20, 2009 7:34 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Adrian sez: Obama makes jokes at the expense of retarded folks. Bush executes them.
Funny, I thought that was Clinton who rushed back to Arkansas so he could oversee the execution of a "retarded" inmate - to bolster his tough-on-crime credential.
111. Posted by Baron Von Ottomatic | March 20, 2009 7:34 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 19:34
112. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 7:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Actually, Jay, you are my second favorite comedian; Karl Marx is my favorite."
112. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 7:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 19:35
113. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 9:38 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jay Leno: Mr. President, you cannot believe how many idiots cannot answer this "Man on the Street" question; "How many states are there in the United States?" Would you like to take a shot at it?
President Obama: "Uh, 57? Not including Alaska and Hawaii."
113. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 9:38 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 21:38
114. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 9:58 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
I bet Obama would have accelled in the special olympics.
114. Posted by 914 | March 20, 2009 9:58 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 21:58
115. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 10:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So, I said to him, 'Gunga Galunga', and told him that 'on his deathbed, he will receive total consciousness.' So, he's got that goin' for him."
115. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 10:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 22:00
116. Posted by fustian | March 20, 2009 11:14 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Obama's theme music:
♬
Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, nineteen for me
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman
Should five percent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman
(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet
Taxman!
♬
116. Posted by fustian | March 20, 2009 11:14 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 23:14
117. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 11:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chauncey Gardner appears for the second time on the Tonight Show and reassures that "all will be well, in the garden".
117. Posted by Spike | March 20, 2009 11:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 20, 2009 23:42
118. Posted by 914 | March 21, 2009 12:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Wii fitness age of 110 aside,Its glad to know Hes got His priorities right...Gambling on basketball and joking at the exspense of the defenseless.. Man I knew a community organizer had to have something on the ball.
118. Posted by 914 | March 21, 2009 12:23 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 21, 2009 00:23
119. Posted by 914 | March 21, 2009 12:42 AM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
#52
How DID you get elected?
Divine intervention
119. Posted by 914 | March 21, 2009 12:42 AM |
Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 21, 2009 00:42
120. Posted by rodney dill | March 21, 2009 10:30 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Leno: "Well then... who has been your biggest source of inspiration. Rev. Wright? Martin Luther King, Jr.? Malcom X?..."
Pres'ent 'Bama: "Actually it's been Cleavon Little."
120. Posted by rodney dill | March 21, 2009 10:30 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 21, 2009 10:30
121. Posted by Paul Hooson | March 21, 2009 2:47 PM | Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Oh, it's that other funny photo contest. Oh, oh.
121. Posted by Paul Hooson | March 21, 2009 2:47 PM |
Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on March 21, 2009 14:47
122. Posted by proof | March 21, 2009 6:40 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Lean a little closer, Jay! I can't reach your wallet!
122. Posted by proof | March 21, 2009 6:40 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on March 21, 2009 18:40
123. Posted by Elmo | March 22, 2009 2:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Doood .... I'm President!?
123. Posted by Elmo | March 22, 2009 2:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 22, 2009 02:38
124. Posted by Elmo | March 22, 2009 2:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Three retards go into a bar ....
124. Posted by Elmo | March 22, 2009 2:39 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 22, 2009 02:39
125. Posted by radio free fred | March 22, 2009 6:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
" If You Say Stimulus Three Times Real Fast, It Sounds Like A Runaway Train."
125. Posted by radio free fred | March 22, 2009 6:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 22, 2009 06:58
126. Posted by fustian | March 22, 2009 9:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
After you welcomed yourself to the White House, tried to enter the Oval Office through a window, and selected Joe Biden to be Vice President, many are suspecting that you might qualify as a Special Olympian already.
That is, if you can improve your bowling score.
126. Posted by fustian | March 22, 2009 9:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 22, 2009 09:46
127. Posted by Kevin
| March 23, 2009 2:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Click on the link to read the winning entries. The contest is now closed.
127. Posted by Kevin
| March 23, 2009 2:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on March 23, 2009 02:03