The other day, I was chatting with a female colleague. I was complaining that I hadn't done a very good job of shaving that morning.
"It doesn't look bad."
"Yeah, but it feels rough as hell." I took her hand and scraped it along my jawline.
"Ouch. That is nasty."
"Yup, Would've gotten me kicked out of one ex-girlfriend's bed."
"I can see how that would bother her face."
"It wasn't her face she was worried about."
It took a second or two, but this lovely shade of pink creeped across her face...
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Comments (31)
Around our office, we call ... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Peter F. | June 20, 2008 11:29 AM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Around our office, we call that an "HR!HR!"
1. Posted by Peter F. | June 20, 2008 11:29 AM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 11:29
2. Posted by Paul Hooson | June 20, 2008 11:40 AM | Score: -4 (8 votes cast)
Jay, guys probably like facial hair a lot more than women actually do, although a little stubble looks sexy and hints of adventure and danger. But sometimes a little stubble can also look like a bum if it gets too out of hand. I'm a beard and long hair guy myself, which seems to fit my rebel image as a motorbike guy and former smalltime former rock star. But looking worse than most guys on AMERICA's MOST WANTED TV show probably isn't the very best plan if you want to get laid a lot. Sometimes there's a fine line between looking cool and slightly dangerous and looking like a bum or a homeless person.
Even worse yet for a guy would be harvesting some crazy look that reminds women of some psychopathic serial killer with drifters buried under their front porch. That's a look to avoid at all costs. That's chick kryptonite for sure.
2. Posted by Paul Hooson | June 20, 2008 11:40 AM |
Score: -4 (8 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 11:40
3. Posted by Son Of The Godfather | June 20, 2008 11:51 AM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
With the fear of "sexual harrassment" environment they've created in most offices, I wouldn't touch that with a 10-foot pole... even my own (duh-dump-dump) :)
Whenever I try to grow serious facial hair (beyond the cookie duster), it's always a failed experiment that resembles the offspring of Elvis Presley and a werewolf. *sigh*
3. Posted by Son Of The Godfather | June 20, 2008 11:51 AM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 11:51
4. Posted by Cloudfish | June 20, 2008 12:00 PM | Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
It's not sexual harassment---it's sexual caressment. I wish they'd get it straight....
4. Posted by Cloudfish | June 20, 2008 12:00 PM |
Score: 4 (4 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 12:00
5. Posted by Red Foxx | June 20, 2008 12:15 PM | Score: -11 (15 votes cast)
Nice! I didn't know you did 5th grade humor on this site.
5. Posted by Red Foxx | June 20, 2008 12:15 PM |
Score: -11 (15 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 12:15
6. Posted by Mattnu | June 20, 2008 12:34 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Jay, you are going to EO hell for sure!
Thanks for the chuckle.
I'm a mustache man myself, grow a beard and I look like the scary homeless guy, grow a goatee and I look like Larry the Cable Guy.
6. Posted by Mattnu | June 20, 2008 12:34 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 12:34
7. Posted by max | June 20, 2008 12:53 PM | Score: -3 (9 votes cast)
I don't care what hyperbolist says about you, Jay. You are one class act.
7. Posted by max | June 20, 2008 12:53 PM |
Score: -3 (9 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 12:53
8. Posted by jp2 | June 20, 2008 1:00 PM | Score: -12 (14 votes cast)
With classy, seductive lines like that, I bet you won't be single for very long.
Such a giver!
8. Posted by jp2 | June 20, 2008 1:00 PM |
Score: -12 (14 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 13:00
9. Posted by hyperbolist | June 20, 2008 1:20 PM | Score: -10 (10 votes cast)
Erm... wha?
9. Posted by hyperbolist | June 20, 2008 1:20 PM |
Score: -10 (10 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 13:20
10. Posted by max | June 20, 2008 1:47 PM | Score: -2 (4 votes cast)
Sorry, hb, just using you as a foil. Not referring to anything in particular.
10. Posted by max | June 20, 2008 1:47 PM |
Score: -2 (4 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 13:47
11. Posted by hyperbolist | June 20, 2008 1:53 PM | Score: -8 (8 votes cast)
Oh, OK.
Who cares about classy, anyway? My grandmother was classy, and you know what? She died. Is there a causal link? Prove there isn't.
11. Posted by hyperbolist | June 20, 2008 1:53 PM |
Score: -8 (8 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 13:53
12. Posted by Les Nessman | June 20, 2008 1:55 PM | Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
pfft. Can't even laugh at a lighthearted throwaway post on someone else's blog.
Why do some of these trolls even comment here?
12. Posted by Les Nessman | June 20, 2008 1:55 PM |
Score: 4 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 13:55
13. Posted by Knightbrigade | June 20, 2008 2:00 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
LMAO.. What a nice change of pace.....
and yet TRUE to form.....
Red foxx WTF-- what the hell were YOU doin in the 5th grade?
13. Posted by Knightbrigade | June 20, 2008 2:00 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 14:00
14. Posted by SilentStorm | June 20, 2008 2:07 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
This calls for one thing...
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
Give yourself a rimshot for that one!
14. Posted by SilentStorm | June 20, 2008 2:07 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 14:07
15. Posted by jy | June 20, 2008 2:37 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Crept, Jay, it crept across her face...
15. Posted by jy | June 20, 2008 2:37 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 14:37
16. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | June 20, 2008 3:38 PM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
hyperbolist,
She was related to you. She saw you at family get togethers. She died. Is there a causal link? Prove there isn't.
16. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | June 20, 2008 3:38 PM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 15:38
17. Posted by moseby | June 20, 2008 3:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Did you take her right then and there or did you get her in the copy room? Kachow!!
17. Posted by moseby | June 20, 2008 3:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 15:44
18. Posted by David | June 20, 2008 3:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I have a beard and long hair. I have a wife of 26 years that has never seen me without a beard. On the downside my students call me Chuck. Think about it.
18. Posted by David | June 20, 2008 3:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 15:59
19. Posted by hyperbolist | June 20, 2008 4:00 PM | Score: -3 (3 votes cast)
She also drank gin on the way to church with seven kids stuffed into her station wagon. But I think that's why she lived to be 88.
19. Posted by hyperbolist | June 20, 2008 4:00 PM |
Score: -3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 16:00
20. Posted by Dylan | June 20, 2008 4:23 PM | Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Wow. You're edgy Jay.
20. Posted by Dylan | June 20, 2008 4:23 PM |
Score: 0 (2 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 16:23
21. Posted by jcrue
| June 20, 2008 5:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The only thing I recall from my HR classes is that the harassment must be pervasive AND unwanted. Heh.
As long you do something once, it can't be both ;)
The same thing prevents most men from claiming harassment, but in this case it is the unwanted part that disqualifies.
21. Posted by jcrue
| June 20, 2008 5:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 17:57
22. Posted by PookieJ | June 20, 2008 6:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gee, thanks for sharing.
22. Posted by PookieJ | June 20, 2008 6:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 18:03
23. Posted by Mr Ford. | June 20, 2008 10:52 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Ha, you were talking about her vagina.
23. Posted by Mr Ford. | June 20, 2008 10:52 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 22:52
24. Posted by Gmac | June 20, 2008 11:32 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Set your inner lesbian free Jay, she'll love you for it.
24. Posted by Gmac | June 20, 2008 11:32 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 23:32
25. Posted by Laura | June 20, 2008 11:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Re: #23
It would take a bit of maneuvering to get a cheek that close to that particular part of a woman. The inner thigh, all the way to the top, is quite sensitive, as is the other, more obvious, area, boobies! A day's worth of growth can feel like steel wool when scraped across "the girls".
25. Posted by Laura | June 20, 2008 11:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 20, 2008 23:44
26. Posted by Imhotep | June 21, 2008 12:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I have an all female staff (2 gay guys + 11 females) and I get more "dick jokes" sent to me via email and fax than Drew Carey could ever imagine!! And they are funny as all get out; I'll never complain, but that stuff only goes one way. Boss to employee is harassment. Employee to boss is funny.
Side bar,
Laura: ask your esthetician (?) for a Brazilian and then see what is more sensitive!
26. Posted by Imhotep | June 21, 2008 12:20 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2008 00:20
27. Posted by epador | June 21, 2008 12:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At least it wasn't the girl who hadn't shaved and was rubbing her stubble on your sensitive areas...
[think about the many possibilities, its much more fun than the literal descriptions]
27. Posted by epador | June 21, 2008 12:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2008 00:48
28. Posted by Timmer | June 21, 2008 2:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
When my wife was still working at an insurance company, she put up this sign in her cubicle:
Of course, they made her take it down and she was chastised for not taking HR seriously.
28. Posted by Timmer | June 21, 2008 2:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2008 02:36
29. Posted by Jay | June 21, 2008 8:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Just a reminder, vagina is inside. Vulva or labia is outside. People get the terms confused. Almost to the point where it seems as hopeless as its vs it's to try to correct.
My facial hair recently got so long it became soft. Pretty sad, but I seldom leave the house, and kids leave me lucky to have time to shave.
It still itches when it gets long, though, or I might actually consider a beard.
Great post, Jay. Amusingly unexpected.
29. Posted by Jay | June 21, 2008 8:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2008 08:59
30. Posted by rodney dill | June 21, 2008 9:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tsk tsk, you are just such a cunning linquist
30. Posted by rodney dill | June 21, 2008 9:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 21, 2008 09:43
31. Posted by Razorgirl | June 23, 2008 10:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Timmer,
I will never forget when I started to work here over 20 years ago. The president's secretary was the company matriach. She had been with the company over 30 years after retiring from teaching high school english. She made the comment one day, "I'd like to complain about the sexual harrasment in this company." "What's the problem?" we newbies asked. "There's not near enough of it." she said.
31. Posted by Razorgirl | June 23, 2008 10:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 23, 2008 10:45