Hm, But so anti - PC! My wife currently does not work outside the home, except for managing the extra care her mother needs.

During certain times she has worked outside the home, most notably while I was recovering from cancer. That is what equality means to me, everyone in the family doing what it takes as a family to survive.

As a DAV, I can no longer be in the military, but I do work extensively with the Boy Scouts.

Cassy,

The Real Men aren't in hiding. We're busy fighting wars, stomping out forest fires, protecting the down-trodden, feeding the poor etc. In our spare time we're taking care of our families, teaching our kids values, and loving our woman.

We just don't have the time or inclination to crow about ourselves on the street corner or some seedy talk show.

In those few moments we have to ourselves, we clean our guns and read Wizbang.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3CmvDQK3k2w

I'm perfectly willing to let the metro-sexuals and others alone and allow the adults to administer the business of living. SOMEONE has to protect the little lambs, why not a bona-fide MALE?

#2 Mattnu
You are absolutely correctly. All the real men are already spoken for and quietly going about our lives.

Unfortunately this leaves all of the weenie boys out in the open for everyone else to see and we are judged by their example.

My wife (29 years!) has been "just" a stay at home mom for most of those years. However, I guarantee you that she worked harder while the kids were growing up than I ever did. She now works 2 days per week at a local pre-school - not because she has to, but because she loves the kids.

Has our life been filled with exotic vacations and big TV? Absolutely not. We sacrificed so she could be home with the kids.

Well guess what - we are now empty nesters (have I told you empty nest is great?) and we can afford some of those luxuries we did without.

Yes, the real men are out there by the millions. We just are quietly making sure that our women are taken care of. It is not just my generation either, I can quickly name 10 young men actively serving in the role of provider or "head of the household" for their families - including my own son.

As an executive, I can tell you real men make a difference in business too. These are the men that work day in and day out and quietly end up being executives some day.

Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. didn't have much use for guns; was Charlton Heston more of a man than they were?

Well, I think there\'s been enough of that. MAN UP, guys. Grow a pair and be willing to express unpopular opinions because you know that they\'re right.

Your right! I was holding back on expressing my opinion that you are a complete and total moron. But no more! Cassey your pathetic attempts to reason are a disgrace to chimpanzees everywhere.

Wow, feels good to man up... Now stop writing this drivel, get back in the kitchen, and make some cookies. I\'m not sure why your husband lets you run loose like that. I\'ll have a talk with him about the rule of thumb.

I believe I qualify under your guidelines for a "real man". I've done what it takes for the past 20 years so my can stay at home and be a mom (her choice).

Just ask my family or co-workers about my opinons. Good column.

puzzled:

Guns and being a man have nothing to do with each, but to set the record straight ...

Ghandi in his autobiography stated: "Among the many misdeeds of the British rule in India, history will look upon the act of depriving a whole nation of arms, as the blackest."

Martin Luther King in his autobiography wrote about giving up guns and accepting the possibility of his own death:

After the bombings, many of the officers of my church and other trusted friends urged me to hire a bodyguard and armed watchmen for my house. When my father came to town, he concurred with both of these suggestions. I tried to tell them that I had no fears now and consequently needed no weapons for protection. This they would not hear. They insisted that I protect the house and family, even if I didn't want to protect myself. In order to satisfy the wishes of these close friends and associates, I decided to consider the question of an armed guard. I went down to the sheriff's office and applied for a license to carry a gun in the car; but this was refused.

Meanwhile I reconsidered. How could I serve as one of the leaders of a nonviolent movement and at the same time use weapons of violence for my personal protection? Coretta and I talked the matter over for several days and finally agreed that arms were no solution. We decided then to get rid of the one weapon we owned. We tried to satisfy our friends by having floodlights mounted around the house, and hiring unarmed watchmen around the clock. I also promised that I would not travel around the city alone.

I was much more afraid in Montgomery when I had a gun in my house. When I decided that I couldn't keep a gun, I came face-to-face with the question of death and I dealt with it. From that point on, I no longer needed a gun nor have I been afraid. Had we become distracted by the question of my safety we would have lost the moral offensive and sunk to the level of our oppressors.

Many individuals in the Civil Rights movement were armed and with good reason: there were plenty of people willing to kill to maintain the status quo. That MLK was willing to die for the movement is a tremendous act of courage. However, he was very well known, and he did have lots of security around him - presumably unarmed.

And, of course, he was assassinated.

Real men don't tell the world, look at how tough and reliable I am. They just go out and do it.

The thing that annoys me the most and I think has a big impact on the perception that there are not enough real men is all of the doofus dad tv shows. It seems that men are the last group that it is ok to make fun of so it is easier to make a comedy that has a doofus dad instead of a ditzy mom. How many shows can you name that the dad character is cast as the voice of reason and reliability?

Now, I can take a joke as well as anyone but at some point this same theme gets pretty old and tired.

I'm sure you have hairy armpits, why don't you do it.

Nice thought but why bother. If we don't man up we are "pussified". If we do man up we are pigs. Either way we are labeled as stupid, vapid and ignorant. Why in the world would I "man up"?

Having said that, I spent Wednesday evening at the range with my youngest daughter, I'm a retired Marine, I work out seven days a week and provide the financial support for my wife and I and have done so for the last 32 years.

And yeah, we're empty nesters too. I keep waiting for that "Empty Nest Syndeome" to hit but so far jumping into the ragtop and heading down the road has managed to beat it back.

Hmm, I'd love to man up. Better go ask the wife if it's OK.

Greg, you make an excellent point that annoys me NO END - back in our day, we had strong father figures on the TV Shows that we watched. Now, the mothers all seem like sarcastic b*tches and the dads are portrayed as complete buffoons. Meanwhile, the kids are running free and always outsmarting the parents.

My husband and I are careful about the shows our kids are watching, and I wish there were more people who felt the same - maybe the networks would get the picture and give us some more good, old-fashioned values.

I was going to comment on my "manliness"... Until I remembered I've been commenting on the "American Idol" posts. ;)

Re DuToit's rant, I wonder if there's a corresponding rant by a woman criticizing the lack of real women nowadays? Cos as much as guys *do* need to 'man up,' I see plenty of women who need to grow up as well. (Present company excluded, of course.)

Just want to chime in, because I have a real man at home -- which is where I work right now.

Best part about being a stay at home mom, besides the honor of being Houston Control for his career, is being fresh and frisky and ready for fun when he is. Men need and want lots of sex, and when I was working full time I was so darned tired I couldn't stay awake a lot of times. Now I am fully engaged in the family and have lots of energy. I take care of him and he takes care of me. You know what I'm talkin' about.

This post makes me cry so hard that I need to smack my bitch up, chew some Red Man and drink a case of PBRs just to find my Y chromosome.

Real men don't have a "bitch" to smack (dog breeders excepted), only cry when O'l Yeller dies, and know right where they're Y chromosone is.

My wife sent this to me the the other day. I think it suits the post:

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, "YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE".

He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law.

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax.

You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands.

Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

"The wife replied, "The fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess."....

This means they want and need a living, breathing embodiment of values like honor, courage, and integrity. They want someone who will be strong even in the toughest of situations. They need someone they can feel safe and protected with.

I think that describes every child's relationship with their mommy. Now a days men are looking for life partners, not dependent bedmates.

Back in the days of "real men" a man with any reasonable job could support the whole family. Taxes were low and married men were paid more than single men, and a lot more than women, all for the same job. Having another kid was justification for asking for and receiving a raise. Wages were based as much on a man's needs as on their value.

Back in those days America was still a Christian nation with high moral values and by far the strongest economy in the world. Made in America meant quality. Yes, those seem like good times when men could be men. When a man was the king of his home.

Of course, back in those days some men would beat their kids and their wife and no one interfered. Men could buy and sell property without their wife's consent or knowledge. Men could harass women at work and laugh it off.

When you say men should Man up, I say, sure just as soon as we return to the times when men could be men and not go to jail for it. What I suspect you really mean is that men should Slave up and be their wife's servant. That's what dreams are for, to give you what you can't or don't really have. When a husband says "sweet dreams honey" that's what he's talking about.

Man UP?

Most of us are already there, we just don't get the press we used to. Thats Okay, we don't need the spotlight.

Man up...we need to nut up and drop kick the zeta males outta town.

My apologies to all the 20-30 year old women looking for a good man. My three daughters have taken the best three off the market.

In all seriousness, I have three strong-willed, opinionated daughters who managed to find MEN to marry. I consider myself one of the luckiest mothers-in-law ever.

I might mention that the fathers of these three MEN are MEN also. I've told all of them how much I appreciate their sons.

Of course I agree completely....in theory. Yet I've learned a lesson.
I moved to Ohio to marry my wife when I was 42. Never had children but she had a 4 year old. SHE had a great stable job and I was out looking. I wound up working part time while she worked full time. This was a blessing in that I got to bond with my new stepson AND learn how to be a parent. Little did I know what the future held.
My younger wife came down with cardiomyopathy and congestive heart failure. My lack of full time work became a blessing and I was able to care for her and keep our 5 year old boy shielded from the scare to her health we lived through. I cherish the memories I have as a stay at home dad........and I know our boy does too. I really became Mr. Mom.
I think Dr. Laura is a bitch but I agree with her mantra of sacrifice.....I stayed home with our boy (and have been recently home due to a layoff) and it has made his life and his mom's more fulfilling. God made the rules, which I agree with in this thread, but rules were made to be broken.

WE are all over here...

http://artofmanliness.com/

This seems to be a theme of the past few weeks... I wonder why?

What does "Man-up" have to do with beer, beating your kids, treating your wife as a slave, or any of the other idiocy suggested in some of these comments?

Man-up means take care of your duties and responsibilities. The first of which is to provide for and take care of your family, not dictate terms to them. It also means you don't run around crowing your accomplishments and 'manliness'. If you feel that you have to advertise that you're a man, guess what? You're not.

Been married 20 years. Early on my wife worked, often more then I did when I was in school. As soon as she didn't HAVE to work, she quit. Now she works a couple hours a day at school because she enjoys it. She's considering going back to school and maybe going back to work. Or maybe not. Either way, that's fine too.

Marriage isn't a competition and you don't keep score. I'm not particularly religious, but I do recall something in the Bible about cherishing your wife. That doesn't mean I'm the parent and she's the child.

Marriage isn't a competition and you don't keep score. I'm not particularly religious, but I do recall something in the Bible about cherishing your wife. That doesn't mean I'm the parent and she's the child.Posted by Mike

From one Mike to another....I am a right wing Christian with a wife of like mind. I am turning 50 soon and applaud your comments here. With age comes wisdom...wish it were as easy as Pleasantville. Or as black and white.

I gotta say...it's hard to "MAN UP" on the web.

REAL men are built with the VALUES, CHARACTER, and LEADERSHIP qualities that makes them MEN.
More of the actions speak louder than words type of guys.
Debating those qualities can be a waste of time simply because...opinions are like a'holes..etc. etc.

Now in everyday life one may come across a load mouth femi-nazi, and I have been called a "male chauvinist pig" several times, much to my amusement.
Although it wasn't ME who stormed off frustrated in ANY of those occasions, so I guess I did "MAN UP" when I had to.

The thing is most of the time REAL men don't have to "man up" because lefty femi-nazi types keep their distance from men like us, and gravitate to the "back street boys" kinda guy.

To be sure us REAL MEN are out here doing just fine...navigating our way through the sludge of metro-sexual, femi-nazi, and liberal PC asshats in general.

Knightbrigade.......
If someone were to ask me what you said at 10:26 pm on May 1, what would I tell them?

Manning-up essentially means taking care of your business. Whether it is at your job, around the house, as a lover,a companion or parent just take care of your business.

Take care of your business and the rest will take care of itself.

infidel............

Tell them I said basically-- REAL MEN the focus in this story by the author/Cassy are out here doing just fine in the real world.
Just because WE/REAL MEN don't debate in circle jerks with PC femi-nazi types online doesn't mean we have ceased to exist.

CLEAR enough infidel??

"...men need to butch up."

And I think you need a "butch" boyfriend! Or girlfriend.

"As I've said before, I think you see an overwhelming number of real men flocking to military or law enforcement lifestyles."-cassy

"Lifestyles"??? As in Stylin'?

One bizarre post. I can't stop looking at it. Kudos.

P.S. The US army takes grrrlz. Think about it.

Way to stroke men for 90% of the article so you can get agreement on that 10% you hoped they wouldn't look too closely at.

If a woman wants to work outside the home, then that's great. A real man would encourage her to, if that's what she chose to do. But a real man would also accept her role as housewife if that was what she wanted -- even if it meant taking on extra financial responsibility. A man's job is to provide for and protect his family, and no, it isn't because a woman is incapable of doing so. It's because that is his primary responsibility.

Women can't always pick and choose to do whatever they feel like. Sometimes the money isn't there for that kind of freedom. Either way once children show up, women have responsibilities and need to make sacrifices as well.

If either one doesn't own up it just won't work.

Gosh, little women really think SHAMING men still works? That stopped a while ago. Scream "Man-Up" from your OWN apartment. Men have seen women in action. Whiners, complainers, misandric and endlessly focused on themselves only. Women threw men away. They're just upset that men realized how much happier they were keeping their pitiful, abusives asses to themselves. Womens Groups lobbied for laws which destroyed the Nuclear Family/Marriage. I'm happy to let women sleep in the bed they made. I'm not lifting a damn finger. Women got us in this mess. When it gets bad enough they'll fight the feminist/the source of their problems. Then MEN will show up, Not before. I'm not fighting battles for women who never cared before. Its the chivalrous nature of men which allowed this to get this far. NO LONGER OUR PROBLEM! Women have built up a lot of contempt in men and they dont know how to put the ink back in the bottle. Oh well!

So SHAME AWAY. We no longer care. Your fault! You fix the problem!!! Men are now HAPPY. We adjust. Wwwhhhiinnnne away!

>Too many men aren't willing to stand up for themselves

I did. Now I'm divorced.

Hey Wilma Flintstone: I don't know who your vision of life in 2008 works for anymore. Neither my wife or I are college graduates. Circumstances in our lives just didn't pan out that way yet. Resultingly, we both make about $30k a year in our blue-collar jobs. I guess if it really came down to it, we could live off of ONE $30k a year, with strong support from welfare and Medicaid, driving a piece of shit car that I'd be working on whenever I wasn't at work, not to mention non-homeowners. Instead, we both work, and we get by, without government assistance. Let me clue you in on something: I live in Utah, where Morman women are expressly discouraged from working outside the home. My wife's whole family is Mormon, and most of her brothers and sisters are on Welfare. How does that make you feel? The diarrhea you spew out of your mouth daily on this site just costed you a few more tax dollars.

Ms. Fiano: If you get a chance, I have some frequent flier miles and a guest bedroom with satellite TV, (because my wife and I WORK), come visit my family in Utah (your conservative dreamland) and see a microcosm of how your 1950's outlook on life doesn't work in the real world. See how all of wife's siblings stay home all day with their 5 kids they can't afford, except when they have us watch them while they go to the grocery store and buy food with food stamps that you and I are paying for.

Plenty of real women Lordsomber, just have to see what is in front of you. Don't judge all women by what you have seen.

I have soap,shampoo,shaving cream,deoderant,toothbrush/paste,razor&blades in my bath,thats it.I subscribe to the KISS principle.

I could see the lid of this can of worms slowly being screwed off as I read the post - then in the comment section saw them all crawling out :)

What I can't help remembering though while reading this is this article at American Digest from over two years ago: "The Voice of the Neuter is Heard Throughout the Land".

Aries has a point though. And Cassie has indeed written about it in the recent past. I think that putting her two posts together rounds out the whole subject pretty well.

Some men here are offended by her words. My contention is that if you are not the man described here, you've no need to be offended. Just as, in her other post, if you are not the woman described, don't take offense.

"Plenty of real women Lordsomber, just have to SEE what is in front of you. Don't judge all women by what you have SEEN."

-tikky's mum

Schizo much!

He's seen whats in front of him. Grow up and think B4 posting nonsense.

The real men never left. The women stopped noticing us.

CLEAR enough infidel??

Gotcha knightbridge.....sorry for the misunderstanding.

Ryan isn't a college graduate? Holy crap, who would've guessed!!!

"...just costed you a few more tax dollars." -Ryan

Peter F
You are a pussy for thinking that is funny.

Of course, back in those days some men would beat their kids and their wife and no one interfered.

Yes, like folks are so very involved in their neighbors' doings nowadays? Yeah, pull the other one. It has bells on.

This, by the way, is a myth. Folks took plenty of notice who abused their wives and kids. They didn't tend to ignore it, either. They just didn't run to the government to solve the problem. The community handled it.

Men could buy and sell property without their wife's consent or knowledge.

Umm...men can still do that. So can women.

Men could harass women at work and laugh it off.

They can do that now as well. Granted, it's not as easy to do, but in an office where real humans work, it happens (just as women "harassing" men happens, too).

I fail to see your point, given your flawed examples.

Let's turn the tables on women for a change, here, Cassy. It's time for women to "woman up" and stop working jobs that they don't really need in order to take care of the home and children. It's time for women to start acting more responsibly in marriage by actually not filing for divorces when things get rough.

You wonder why so many women have a hard time finding a "real man?" It's because most women today are not "women." They're overgrown girls who have yet to figure out that they are not princesses, are not goddesses and haven't proved that they are a woman worth sacrificing a man's freedom in order to love and provide for.

*shrug*

The best way to man up is to go on doing what you want to do.

Hopefully, these are positive things -- like cleaning your guns, hunting, arm-wrestling, and other manly feats of strength and martial skill. Or whatever.

Take care of yourself and yours in the manner you see fit, ignore the weeny mealy-mouths that disparage you, and keep your dignity and honor intact. Anything else, even petty revenge, really doesn't deserve to be dignified.

Peter F
You are a pussy for thinking that is funny.

Why? Because I have a sense of humor and you don't. Get a life, asshat.

Does anyone else see the impasse that can arise when a husband is faced with this:
If a woman wants to work outside the home, then that's great. A real man would encourage her to, if that's what she chose to do. But a real man would also accept her role as housewife if that was what she wanted -- even if it meant taking on extra financial responsibility.
and this:
Be strong enough to shoulder extra burden so that your children can get the best possible upbringing they can.

What's a Real Man to do when he wants the best possible upbringing for his children (obviously meaning a stay-at-home-mom), and is perfectly willing and honored to be the 100% breadwinner to make that situation possible, when the mom wants to go back to work and send the rugrats to day care?

That's the problem with throwing around all-encompassing generalities like, "a Real Man does X" that really mean, "do what your wife wants, rather than what you can come to a rational consensus on what is best in your unique and specific situation".

Too many men aren't willing to stand up for themselves, lest they be attacked by the PC Police.
I dunno, Cassie. Have you ever been attacked by the PC Police? Have you ever lost your job because of some PC violation? It happens all the time to men, even Real Men. It's easy to talk tough when you don't have to face an anti-male court system, PC corporate policy, draconian sexual harrassment rules, etc.
Men can lose their careers and the ability to earn a living due to these PC rules. Women don't have to worry about that.

Women either yelled in agreement (Yeah! Equal rights, sister!) or stood by mute while these PC rules were crafted. Women are responsible for creating these PC rules, and now women are nagging men to defy these same rules? WTF?

Real men have thick skin, and are more worried about doing what's right than what is popular, so who gives a crap what feminists like Amanda Marcotte & Co. have to say?

Who gives a crap? The Court system, lawyers ready to sue, future employers, people who write corporate policy, schools, political candidates, the media, entertainment industry, etc..., They've all bought into this PC crap to some extent.

I will stand up to all this PC crap and I don't care if I lose my job. But I really can't blame a guy who has a wife and three kids that depend on him and bills to pay if he doesn't. I won't sneer at him to 'Man Up'.

The author writes : While men are more and more emasculated in our society, there's no argument against the fact that it is because of women. Women insisted that men change.

Since when do REAL men let women force them to do anything?

Grow up and take some responsibility for your own pathetic weakness.

A Real Woman

P.S. The US army takes grrrlz. Think about it.

That leaves you out, bryan

"The author writes : While men are more and more emasculated in our society, there's no argument against the fact that it is because of women. Women insisted that men change.

Since when do REAL men let women force them to do anything?

Grow up and take some responsibility for your own pathetic weakness.

A Real Woman"

Alright that pretty much means that real men don't give a crap what women think or want. I.e. what you need/want is your own problem. That puts us back in the 50's. The same mentality Feminism rallied against in the first place. I do not think women can handle dealing with a "real man" because women on the whole tend to be too rebellious and disobedient, we can tell because they do things to act out and rebel against their "daddies" when their fathers are the real man in the house and don't try to lie and say it's not true. So be careful what you wish for.

More drivel?

Real men have gone their own way a long time ago. They got tired of hearing women complain and piss and moan about nothing.

You want to be treated like "princess", yet you want to be recognized as "strong and independent"?

Well while most of you are sitting up late at night trying to configure your lives to the next pop culture fad (be it some mutation of Sex in the City or Desperate Housewives), the real men are out working and going on with their lives, be it enjoying bachelorhood or being happily married to a REAL WOMAN who equality contributes and does not whine and complain or buy into radical feminist indecisivenesses/vindictiveness(due to daddy issues.)

Another "shame" tactic by another frustrated and confused female blogger who can't make up her mind.

What is next on the agenda???
Let's see men who no longer pay attention/compliments to women in public, written by a woman who once wrote that too many men see her as a sex object in lieu of her low cut dress, daisy dukes, and clear heels???

There's no such a thing as a "real man". I realize you're young - but please stop being such a fucking moron - I find it irritating.

There are many different ideas of what a "real man" is. The definition is in the eye of the beholder.

You know, there are times when bloggers make the MSM look good. This is one of them. Blogging for blogging's sake. You, Melissa, et al, should really just STFU. Basically, if you don't have a penis, I really could care less what you think about men.

This is what happens when you have "affirmitive action" for females for too long. A ridiculously overinflated idea of their own self worth and value. Female echo chamber. My advice to all men: Sell.

Silly little girl thinks she can tell men what a "real man" would do? Ridiculous.

You. Don't. Know.