In a stunning development, a group of Columbia University college students rushed the stage during the speech by Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, taking him and his entourage hostage.
The students, calling themselves Students for a Democratic Society in honor of the 60's radical group, have issued their demands.
"It's the spirit of '79, bro!" the leader, calling himself "Che' Anything," said. "We are demanding real, democratic reform in Iran -- free elections, the separation of church and state, real rights for the people."
Campus security immediately took charge of the situation, but were overruled by federal officials who pronounced their great concern over the matter and announced they were prepared to wait out the student radicals.
"The last thing we want here is any sort of violence or conflict," hostage negotiator Ernest Stalling said. "We're here for the long haul, and we're prepared to wait them out."
"Cool!" responded "Che Anything" upon being told about the siege. "We ain't looking for any fights, and we have enough grub and stuff to hold out for over a year. We had a scare during the planning stage, when we put a Sheryl Crowe fan in charge of buying the TP, but we caught that in time."
"They wanna wait us out? No prob. We said our piece, Iran knows what they gotta do if they want Ahmadinnerjacket back, everything's cool."
And what will happen if Iran does not yield to the new SDS demands? "Dunno, dude. Get back to us in 444 days, and we'll see."
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Comments (21)
Oh ... If Only!... (Below threshold)1. Posted by langtry | September 24, 2007 11:17 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Oh ... If Only!
1. Posted by langtry | September 24, 2007 11:17 AM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:17
2. Posted by yo | September 24, 2007 11:19 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Yeah man, no fair teasin'
2. Posted by yo | September 24, 2007 11:19 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:19
3. Posted by Oyster | September 24, 2007 11:23 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
What tease.
3. Posted by Oyster | September 24, 2007 11:23 AM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:23
4. Posted by Oyster | September 24, 2007 11:24 AM | Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
dang - I was so flustered I couldn't even type.
What *a* tease.
4. Posted by Oyster | September 24, 2007 11:24 AM |
Score: 7 (7 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:24
5. Posted by scmommy | September 24, 2007 11:31 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
From your keyboard to God's ears!
5. Posted by scmommy | September 24, 2007 11:31 AM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:31
6. Posted by Matt | September 24, 2007 11:34 AM | Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
In a perfect world Jay, in a perfect world.
6. Posted by Matt | September 24, 2007 11:34 AM |
Score: 6 (6 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:34
7. Posted by Falze | September 24, 2007 11:37 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Would've been more believable if you didn't say they were actually Columbia students. Columbia has quite a little trail over at thefire.org.
-Refused to let Jim Gilchrist speak (Minuteman founder)
-Happily invited the kidnapper-in-chief that has expressed a desire to build nukes expressly for the purpose of destroying Israel to speak (for the 2nd time, after apparently deciding it wasn't such a good idea last year - I guess now that we're more sure they're arming terrorists in Iraq that are being used to kill Americans and Iraqi civilians he's a more appealing speaker)
-Suspended the hockey club for posting flyers that used a word that is lovingly praised for its glorious expressive celebration of happy happy joy joy in the Vagina Monologues (which, without bothering to check, I'm sure is welcome on campus)
-Imposed a litmus test (thought policing/control) on graduate students in education
7. Posted by Falze | September 24, 2007 11:37 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:37
8. Posted by Shelby | September 24, 2007 11:52 AM | Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
High point in my day so far
8. Posted by Shelby | September 24, 2007 11:52 AM |
Score: 5 (5 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 11:52
9. Posted by Dave A. | September 24, 2007 12:43 PM | Score: 4 (10 votes cast)
Columbia says they'd invite Hitler to come speak.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxmEGsOkEVc
Does that mean they'd invite Bush?
9. Posted by Dave A. | September 24, 2007 12:43 PM |
Score: 4 (10 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 12:43
10. Posted by Falze | September 24, 2007 1:20 PM | Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
That's got to be the best rhetorical question I've heard in years, Dave.
10. Posted by Falze | September 24, 2007 1:20 PM |
Score: 3 (5 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 13:20
11. Posted by Jason | September 24, 2007 1:45 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Damn. I read the part about people rushing the stage before reading it was satire and thought it might be true. It would've been funny to watch the liberals try to condemn it after they had defended Code Pink and the pie chuckers.
11. Posted by Jason | September 24, 2007 1:45 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 13:45
12. Posted by Von | September 24, 2007 2:00 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
I put on Fox News to see if it were true - saw nothing, then looked at the tag: Satire. Needless to say I am disappointed.
12. Posted by Von | September 24, 2007 2:00 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 14:00
13. Posted by pennywit | September 24, 2007 2:01 PM | Score: -2 (2 votes cast)
In all seriousness, I just read some Bloomberg coverage of the event, and I have to say I disagree strongly with this:
Isn't the point of freedom of speech to extend to those views you disagree with? Actually, I, for one, am quite interested in what Ahmaadinijad has to say in front of an American audience. And let me be one step bolder. America should welcome the opportunity to host him and let him speak.
Why? So that we can see eaactly how much he's willing to spew in front of a US audience on US soil. We have freedom of speech for exactly this reason: To allow people like this to come to light so they can be seen for what they are.
--|PW|--
13. Posted by pennywit | September 24, 2007 2:01 PM |
Score: -2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 14:01
14. Posted by VagaBond | September 24, 2007 2:11 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Free speech is reserved for U.S. citizens.
14. Posted by VagaBond | September 24, 2007 2:11 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 14:11
15. Posted by LaMedusa | September 24, 2007 2:20 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Too cool to be true. :)
15. Posted by LaMedusa | September 24, 2007 2:20 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 14:20
16. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 24, 2007 2:34 PM | Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
PW,
Yes. But Columbia has a poor track record of not letting people they don't like speak freely.
Witness the way they rescinded an invitation to Gilchrist to speak again because too many of the faculty and students refused to behave.
16. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 24, 2007 2:34 PM |
Score: 3 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 14:34
17. Posted by pennywit | September 24, 2007 2:49 PM | Score: -2 (2 votes cast)
SCSI: Take a look at the latest AP lead on the story. Columbia University's president is beating the Iranian dictator like a pinata.
--|PW|--
17. Posted by pennywit | September 24, 2007 2:49 PM |
Score: -2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 14:49
18. Posted by Falze | September 24, 2007 3:16 PM | Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
This just has too many interwoven threads to even try to untangle:
Iran just freed a Columbia alum.
This happened just after Columbia invited AhmsobadIshouldbeindetention to speak.
The Columbia alum works for Soros.
someone else can have a whack at theorizing a 'this doesn't mean Columbia and left negotiates with terrorists' explanation
18. Posted by Falze | September 24, 2007 3:16 PM |
Score: 1 (3 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 15:16
19. Posted by marc | September 24, 2007 4:09 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Witness his non-answer when questioned on the destruction of Israel. When asked again and requested to give a simple yes or no he complained about it.
That aside pennywit, no one aside from a few nutcakes thought the university's president would lay prostrate before ademajihadist's feet.
Without a few "tough questions" he's smart enough to know he would be feeding red meat to those that believe he shouldn't have been given such a large and prestigious stage.
Call me unimpressed.
19. Posted by marc | September 24, 2007 4:09 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 16:09
20. Posted by marc | September 24, 2007 4:17 PM | Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
pennywit:
And let me be one step bolder. America should welcome the opportunity to host him and let him speak.
And so should Iran. I await for the university of Tehran to extend an offer to Bush or his successor.
Why? So that we can see eaactly how much he's willing to spew in front of a US audience on US soil. We have freedom of speech for exactly this reason: To allow people like this to come to light so they can be seen for what they are.
And what did you gain that wasn't already known?
I listened to about 50% of his speech and the questions asked. I learned nothing that hasn't already be in the press.
Oh wait... I did learn Iran "didn't have any homosexuals"
BUWAWAWAWAHAHAHAHA!
20. Posted by marc | September 24, 2007 4:17 PM |
Score: 2 (2 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 16:17
21. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 24, 2007 8:30 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
PW,
Couldn't help but notice how he got an ovation for complaining about the president's comments.
21. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | September 24, 2007 8:30 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on September 24, 2007 20:30