Soul PATCH, dude.

Jay, they have these new things called safety razors. You should check into it.

Remember the old Bill Cosby routine, "Little Tiny Hairs," where he portrays a ballplayer doing a shaving commericial?

"'course these razor people go to a lot of trouble to put this dial with all these numbers on their razor . . . no matter which number you turn to, you still cut yourself to pieces . . . see that? Zip! Zop! My face is ripped to shreds."

Today, we have razors with five or six blades, shaving creams with special anti-cut formulae, and a guy's best friend is still his styptic pencil. I did get a new version of that a while back: it was a "roll-on" styptic, like the deoderants used to be, only tiny. Didn't last very long, though, not like the real thing . . .

After years of dutifully applying razor cuts to my face, I finally tired one of those newfangled electric razors. Being desperate enough to settle for an inferior shave to avoid the cuts, I found the buzzing gadget somehow shaved just as close as a blade and in half the time. I wondered why manufacturers don’t say this in their advertisements, but that question was answered quickly as I was watching TV. They have been saying it all along, but I wasn’t listening. Apparently I had so completely bought the blade manufacturer’s tag line that "nothing shaves as close as a blade" that I couldn’t hear a contrary message. Of course, I’m not talking about cheap electric razors, so figure on spending $100 or more. Unlike freedom, a close shave can be bought without shedding blood.

Mac: ahh, but instead you get that wonderful RAZOR BURN tingle!

Adj: ah yes, vintage BC. Foo-Bahh, Foo-Bahh indeed!

And to all the females out there shaking their head 'cause they have a few other places to shave that aren't fun [and roll their eyes at the male babies whining about their faces]:

Bless You!

Jay, just grow a beard like I did a few months ago. I hated shaving
and the infections that came with it, so I broke down and grew a beard. It actually looks pretty good, if I keep it trimmed.

...beards are gay. The only reason to grow one is to rub it up against a pair of nuts. Or, to look like a clueless, lazy, shiftless dumbass.

Dang, what are you guys using - lawnmowers?

Try Barbasol shaving cream. It's cheap, you only use enough to put on a fairly thin layer, and it'll keep you from looking like you tried to kiss a weedwhacker.

Moisten your face with water first and then just wipe it off after you've finished. In the last (mumble) decades, the only time I've cut myself is when I've stupidly moved the razor sideways while shaving.

I've tried regular soap, and all sorts of the various creams and gels and expensive shaving foams - but none of them beat Barbasol.

Oh, and change your blade when you need to. With Barbasol, you'll need to change your blade about every six weeks or so...

J.

This gives a good reason for Orthodox Jews to obey the command not to shave with a razor.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7637/544/640/SabbaHillel.jpg

LOL, I thought I was the only closet Barbasol user.

Can't beat the price either. Keep it and the razor handy to the shower, (who needs a mirror to shave anyways?) so you can rinse off in the nice hot water. DO NOT keep your razor in the shower, where it grows all sorts of interesting bacteria (ladies take note!!!).

AND don't move the blade sideways.

Uh-huh. And just how would you explain circumcision?

You and your ideas...

Adjoran:

...a guy's best friend is still his styptic pencil.

You've just got to get out more, dude.

I had a steam shower built last year, shaving in it is a dream! Hose off, let the heat build up, in the winter with the steamer on...then your shave will be as smooth as a baby's bottom....or Brazilian wax, whatever you're into. ;)

Got stereo speakers in there too.

I'm 40. I've been shaving for 25+/- years.
I've used a Norelco Rotary nearly every day.
I've never cut myself. I've owned 3 of them.
This one is cordless and rinses with water. It even has a shaving lotion inside it if you want it.

Have I had razor burn? Yeah, if I don't shave for a weekend, then Monday morning rush through and press reallll hard, instead of keeping the razor moving with light pressure.

Tell you what, Jay. Send me your address, I'll send you a new one from Amazon - send the link of one you want too. Try it for a month, and if you don't like it, you've risked nothing, lost nothing. Consider it a "tip jar offer" for blogging so damned well.

Another Barbasol user! Hi, Epador!

One more thing - those disposable twin-blade razors you can get for cheap? $2 for a package of 5 or 10? They're worthless, pretty much. IF you're really careful, you can get a good shave once or twice, but you're more likely to slice off any skin irregularities. I've never had good luck with those. But I hear they're GREAT for slicing cheese real thin...

If you skin is as thick as you think it is, you don't cut yourself. ;o)

Real men use Straight Razors anyhow. And Barbasol.

You haven't had razor burn until learning to shave with a straight razor!

I've had people tell me you could avoid razor burn with electrics by using a pre-shave, like most of the manufacturers suggest. The burn I did get without a pre-shave more or less dampened my enthusiasm for the technology.

I was glad to get my Grandfather's straight razor as one of my heirlooms from him when he passed away. I mentioned to my Grandmother some years later, that I felt close to him when I thought of how he must have used it daily for so many years.

She said, "Well, yes, he did, dear - until they came out with safety razors, of course!"

Naturally, it is understood that you needn't worry about being cut if your beard is light like some little girly-man, Andrew.

;-)

This is a large part of why I have a moustache. And if I ever decide to get rid of the moustache, the world will be able to see my prominent shaving scar.

Never had trouble below my mouth though.

When getting out of the shower, up the temp a bit (to the hottest you can stand), soak your face and neck for 1-2 minutes. Dry off, apply shaving cream - let stand for 5 minutes before shaving. Shave, , rinse, then repeat the shaving again without the cream and just use the water wash to wet down before running the razor over again. And for Gods sake, when shaving your lower lip area above your chin, take your lower lip in over your teeth so the skin is even smooth and taunt. The worst area to adequately get it the tip of your chin.

I’m surprised by all the complicated procedures some men go through to get a shave. Maybe it’s too easy, so men feel like they need to embellish the process.

Just hope out of bed in the morning, grab the electric shaver and mow your face; that’s all there is to it. Don’t make the mistake of getting your face wet first or applying any type pre shave. Follow this simple procedure and use a good quality electric razor that has at least one “foil” shaving head. Unless you have unusually dry or sensitive skin you’ll find the electric razor glides over dry self-lubricated skin without causing razor burn. A quality electric razor with one or more foil heads will mow off your beard as close as a blade and do it in much less time and with far less discomfort.

I never had much luck with electric, switched to a safty razor. I haven't been so smooth since the sixth grade.