Hello Wizbang people. Kevin has brought me in to help entertain you on a Friday evening, and I figured -who doesn't like fast cars and fast music?
So it's spring and a woman's thoughts turn to....driving. Not just driving, but driving with the windows down and the sunroof open and the music blasting so loud you don't hear the siren behind you as the police officer desperately tries to get you to pull over. And when you finally see those lights in your rear view and you pull off to the shoulder and the nice cop asks you why in god's name you were going so fast you say something like "But officer, rock and roll made me do it!" and he gives a knowing nod and a soft warning that you really shouldn't do that again.
No, it doesn't happen that way. But it should. In an ideal world, all speed limits would be off on any day where it's sunny and above 72 degrees. And in an ideal world, I would be doing my fast music driving in one of these:
That's a 1970 Chevelle SS. Mine would be in black, but you get the idea. That right there, ladies and gentlemen, is the ultimate in automobiles. It's the car I've been dreaming about since I first got my license back in the dark ages, and the car I will some day own. Mark my words. That's not just any muscle car, kids. That is a piece of art. You know how some guys feel when they see a picture of some big breasted chick with her legs in the air and a "take me" look on her face? You know how some women feel when they see a pair of Manolo Blahnik shoes on sale at Neiman Marcus? That's how I feel when I see this car. No, I don't want to fuck it, but I just might rub up against it in a sexual fashion, given the chance. Oh hell, if it had a dick, I'd fuck it.
Fortunately, my love of old muscle cars is shared by my new partner in life crimes and he swears that some day we will be cruising down I-5 in California in this thing:
That would be a 1972 Barracuda. The kind of car where the guy driving wears a wife beater and has one tattooed arm out the window and his hair is slicked back and maybe there's plastic Jesus glued to the dashboard and the girl next to him has her seat back and her legs up on the dashboard and her hair is long and flying in the wind and there's music on the radio, something pure rock and roll, and they laugh as they hit the the Grapevine on I-5 because steep as that grade is, it's no match for your mean driving machine.
That's no dream (though it does sound like a Coop drawing waiting to happen). That's gonna happen. When we do hit that scene some day, we'll be doing it, of course, with the proper soundtrack.
H20 - Faster Than the World
REO Speedealer - Absinthe
Supersuckers - Evil Powers of Rock and Roll
New Bomb Turks - Dragstrip Riot
Clutch - Shogun Named Marcus
Rocket From the Crypt - Salt Futures
Visit me at Faster Than the World, a site about punk rock and fast cars.
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Comments (15)
I rarely commented on A Sma... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Mark L | May 26, 2006 10:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I rarely commented on A Small Victory, so I doubt you know me. But I did read it regularly, and missed it when it disappeared. I am SOOO glad you are back!
1. Posted by Mark L | May 26, 2006 10:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 26, 2006 22:54
2. Posted by McCain | May 26, 2006 11:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Just keep talking baby. We'll be quiet.
2. Posted by McCain | May 26, 2006 11:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 26, 2006 23:28
3. Posted by rivlax | May 26, 2006 11:41 PM | Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Take it somewhere else, potty mouth.
3. Posted by rivlax | May 26, 2006 11:41 PM |
Score: -1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 26, 2006 23:41
4. Posted by Kevin | May 26, 2006 11:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Take it somewhere else, potty mouth.
Uh, who will take it where, at least as far as this site is concerned, is my decision. Given that Michele is an invited guest and a friend, it shouldn't be too hard to guess who stays...
4. Posted by Kevin | May 26, 2006 11:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 26, 2006 23:54
5. Posted by ed | May 27, 2006 12:40 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm.
1. It's a pity that car makers haven't reborn some of the older classic cars. If they did then I'd consider buying one, but not if they "update" the styling.
2. The right music is "Radar Love" by Golden Earring.
http://www.guntheranderson.com/v/data/radarlov.htm
5. Posted by ed | May 27, 2006 12:40 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 00:40
6. Posted by Nicholas | May 27, 2006 1:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Live" is pretty good music to drive to, but beware, it makes you want to go really fast and drive dangerously!
6. Posted by Nicholas | May 27, 2006 1:16 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 01:16
7. Posted by invernessie | May 27, 2006 2:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
When I was in college, I had a Chevelle Malibu (1971). It was a bronzy, brown color. Upon my first gander at this mobile, I was horrified - this was a most ugly vehicle. My first thought was to change the color (perhaps a forest green).
Of course, after initiation into the privileges, of driving such a vehicle, I was an immediate convert. And the vehicle was subsequently christened "PRTYMBL" - you can do the translation.
This was the best vehicle I've ever owned. It idled at 30 mph, and would drive through the worst a Buffalo winter could offer (all the benefits of a H2 with slightly better gas mileage (11 mpg)).
How I let this masterpiece get away from me will forever haunt me. Attribute it to the vagaries of youth........
7. Posted by invernessie | May 27, 2006 2:25 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 02:25
8. Posted by Veeshir | May 27, 2006 7:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've driven my fastest to Running With the Devil by Van Halen. That's a great driving song.
Ed, check out the new Mustangs. I think they're a very good remake of the Mach 1. I got a GT conv and I love every second of it. Gas is cheap when you have one. The new Chrysler Challenger might be cool too. Too bad it's a Chrysler. They haven't made anything I've liked since about 1972.
8. Posted by Veeshir | May 27, 2006 7:38 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 07:38
9. Posted by Phil | May 27, 2006 8:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My nomination is Jeff Beck's "Trouble Man" Now this is cruising music to the extreme! Only in America can music be so closely related to our national pastime of cruising. I remember many a day and night cruising the backroads and main drags of my hometown in my chick magnet a "70" Challenger and cranking the tracks on my trusty 8-track...man do I miss those days....
9. Posted by Phil | May 27, 2006 8:33 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 08:33
10. Posted by Marc | May 27, 2006 9:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nice choice of muscle cars Michele, however this is a real muscle car.
And yes my ass still hurts from a self inflicted ass kicking for selling one.
10. Posted by Marc | May 27, 2006 9:46 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 09:46
11. Posted by virgo | May 27, 2006 10:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My Dad had one of them ugly Fairlanes when i was a kid! I just remember it being uncomfortable and loud.
11. Posted by virgo | May 27, 2006 10:48 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 10:48
12. Posted by ed | May 27, 2006 1:40 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Hmmmm.
I never really got into Mustangs. My family is mostly Dodge, though one uncle is a heretic Ford owner. In a pinch I'd consider a Chevy.
But a Ford? Sorry man but I don't want to be exiled permanently to the kiddie table during the holidays. My uncle can get away with it because he's my dad's brother. But me? No mas! No mas!
:)
12. Posted by ed | May 27, 2006 1:40 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 13:40
13. Posted by Tim | May 27, 2006 1:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I have a moral question. My wife's cousin is dieing of cancer, she's near the end and my wife is taking care of her. I found out last week that her cousin left her Corvette to my wife in the will. I haven't said much, but it's like my soul is grinning and jumping up and down inside of me. Is that wrong of me?
13. Posted by Tim | May 27, 2006 1:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 13:41
14. Posted by DJ | May 27, 2006 7:38 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
I don't think its wrong if it's a split window '63, but, on the other hand, if it's a Dirk Diggler mid-70's fiberglass special, you're probably going to hell.
14. Posted by DJ | May 27, 2006 7:38 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on May 27, 2006 19:38
15. Posted by LinzNac | November 2, 2006 4:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm doing a video. The video contains many pictures of Muscle Cars from the Lake Mirror Classic Auto Festival. I'm at a stand still cause I can think of any music that will go with these pictures. The muscle car class contained about 16 cars and then there was the lower class that had about 20 or so more classic muscle cars. Can anyone help with some song titles?
Thanks
15. Posted by LinzNac | November 2, 2006 4:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on November 2, 2006 16:19