- "I invite each of you to sit down in front of your own television set when your station goes on the air and stay there for the day. . . . I can assure you that what you will observe is a vast wasteland."
Newton N. Minow, FCC chairman (May 9, 1961)
Current's inauspicious debut, while probably only seen by close relatives of staff member and a few handfuls of the curious, bring to mind the early 80's debut of MTV. Contrary to popular belief MTV was not an immediate hit - it's early days were a mess of experimentation and awkwardness as MTV video jockeys (mostly former radio DJ's) struggled to learn a new format. MTV had one big advantage over the new Current, people actually wanted to see music video while no one is clamoring to see a 5 minute video about a young couple having a baby (their family excepted), thinking about suicide, or other such nonsense.
In the interest of television history I logged as much of the first hour as I could stomach - which wasn't too much.
The fist thing you notice is the hosts, they're young, preachy, and entirely too excited about the significance of any of the America's Unfunniest Home Videos they're about to show you. The videottes have something in the lower left part of the screen which looks like a mini-TiVo timeline or camcorder timer. As near as I can tell the progress bar is there to let you know how long your misery will last before one of the slicky boy VJ's get all up in your grill from a bizarre camera angle again. When the hosts come back on telling you how wonderful the whiny video you just saw was they'll also remind you how cool they are for being on Current, and how cool you are for watching. Of course they're blogging their coolness...
The centerpiece of the network is something called, I kid you not, Google Current which purports to let you know about trends real time. The host of that segment is perhaps the networks version of Martha Quinn, Kinga Philipps (picture 1, 2). If the editions of Google Current I saw are any indication the network showpiece is in serious trouble. The top 10 "revolutions"? They give you top searches for terms or concepts no one is really searching for.
Current is a big giant mess of viewer contributed content only slightly more entertaining that a test pattern, but they've got a long way to go even to rise to the level of an infomercials. At 2:00am when the TiVo service information download started and the tuner changed to a blank channel I was, frankly, relieved...
Permalink | Linking Blogs | Sphere: Related Content | Digg this! | FARK It!
Filed under:
Entertainment
Comments (20)
You need to change the cata... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Gabriel Chapman | August 1, 2005 2:04 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You need to change the catagory for this post from Entertainment to Torture.
1. Posted by Gabriel Chapman | August 1, 2005 2:04 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 02:04
2. Posted by fatman | August 1, 2005 2:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And people wonder why I don't own a tv.
2. Posted by fatman | August 1, 2005 2:23 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 02:23
3. Posted by TC@LeatherPenguin | August 1, 2005 4:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Y'know, back in the day, I did want my MTV, but after fifteen minutes of my life was wasted, I did not want my GoreTV.
Sweet baby Jebus! That crap yearns for a smack in the head.
3. Posted by TC@LeatherPenguin | August 1, 2005 4:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 04:12
4. Posted by Paul | August 1, 2005 7:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At 2:00am when the TiVo service information download started and the tuner changed to a blank channel I was, frankly, relieved...
roflmao
4. Posted by Paul | August 1, 2005 7:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 07:50
5. Posted by bullwinkle | August 1, 2005 7:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Sawhorse Network might be an attempt to make Gore look interesting, a very tough job but not impossible, especially if you go to the far corners of the globe searching for the most dull and boring there is to offer. Maybe they can televise a live personality transplant on him. I'd watch just to see how empty the space is where they implanted it.
5. Posted by bullwinkle | August 1, 2005 7:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 07:59
6. Posted by meep | August 1, 2005 9:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm curious... what were the search terms?
6. Posted by meep | August 1, 2005 9:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 09:21
7. Posted by Steve L. | August 1, 2005 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I went to the page to see if anyone around here carried it. Much to my surprise, they REQUIRED me to provide my name, address, phone number, e-mail, etc. just to find out if anyone carried their crappy network.
I thought the Dems were all about privacy. I guess I was wrong about that.
7. Posted by Steve L. | August 1, 2005 10:02 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 10:02
8. Posted by andy | August 1, 2005 10:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I've not seen the network yet, but did look at the web page.
However, a thought occurs: perhaps we're not the target audience. Just as my demographic shot out of the target range for MTV and The Gap, I'm not that bothered if Gore's new station isn't trying to reel me in.
Hell, "Full House" and "Family Matters" stayed on TV for years and years - and they were dark vortexes of utter TV suckiness. There's hope for Current.
8. Posted by andy | August 1, 2005 10:07 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 10:07
9. Posted by the wolf | August 1, 2005 10:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Have they found a charity to steal from yet?
9. Posted by the wolf | August 1, 2005 10:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 10:59
10. Posted by ed | August 1, 2005 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm.
"You need to change the catagory for this post from Entertainment to Torture."
HELLO GITMO!
What a wonderful way to tor .... Interrogate Gitmo prisoners. Bore them beyond endurance and if anybody complains, point a finger at Al Bore.
Sorry. Gore.
10. Posted by ed | August 1, 2005 11:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 11:37
11. Posted by Paul Zrimsek | August 1, 2005 11:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know what would kick ass? Instead of just showing the videos they could have like these two cartoon guys sitting on a sofa watching the videos and talking about how much they suck and stuff. And then maybe that Amaya Brecher chick could like show her boobs. That would rule. Heh-heh, heh, heh.
11. Posted by Paul Zrimsek | August 1, 2005 11:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 11:45
12. Posted by ed | August 1, 2005 12:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm.
"That would rule. Heh-heh, heh, heh."
Especially if one of the characters was named "Al Turbo".
12. Posted by ed | August 1, 2005 12:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 12:02
13. Posted by Lance | August 1, 2005 12:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I agree with the MTV analogy Kevin although I would add one thing. There are now about 400 other channels to watch. during MTV's launch maybe a total of 30 channels including pay channels were available. competition either in this case makes the product stronger or makes the product dissapear. Personally I have no problem seeing less of anything Al Gore is affiliated with. Less is definitely more in this case.
13. Posted by Lance | August 1, 2005 12:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 12:19
14. Posted by Dan | August 1, 2005 1:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(Copyrighted material deleted)
14. Posted by Dan | August 1, 2005 1:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 13:25
15. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | August 1, 2005 2:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RE: Dan's post (August 1, 2005 01:25 PM)
Dan, are you still looking for Aisle 9: Irrelevant References? I think your compass is broken.
15. Posted by AnonymousDrivel | August 1, 2005 2:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 14:18
16. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith | August 1, 2005 6:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tease. You got me all hot and bothered when you mentioned Martha Quinn.
16. Posted by Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith | August 1, 2005 6:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 18:24
17. Posted by Rob@L&R | August 1, 2005 6:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fortunately, Steve L., the only required fields are zip code and address.
I entered "up your ass" in the address field, supplied my correct zip and received this in response: So close but yet so far. Here we are in the same city and we can't even meet. Thanks to Adelphia we're going to have to remain online friends for now.
If they had a comment field, I would have asked what they were wearing.
17. Posted by Rob@L&R | August 1, 2005 6:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 18:44
18. Posted by mesablue | August 1, 2005 6:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It's not available where I live, hoping it stays that way.
18. Posted by mesablue | August 1, 2005 6:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 18:48
19. Posted by Rob@L&R | August 1, 2005 6:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I entered the zipcode of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba (09593) and Current is carried there on DirecTV.
So they could use it as torture
19. Posted by Rob@L&R | August 1, 2005 6:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 1, 2005 18:56
20. Posted by BILL | August 23, 2005 11:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I tuned in yesterday not knowing what it was and had no idea Gore was part of it. I saw a nice mix of stories, and had no problem watching for an hour. Better than most of the garbage on television.
I tuned in again last night, and some new features but mostly repeats of the pieces shown earlier in the day. It does remind me of early MTV, but that channel didn't do too badly for itself. If you think this channel is 'torture' you obviously haven't watched the other 840 channels.
20. Posted by BILL | August 23, 2005 11:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on August 23, 2005 11:19