I recently was contacted by an ex-girlfriend. After exchanging niceties, she got to the point: she wanted the name of the doctor who had performed a certain procedure on me for her new beau. I told her the doctor had moved out of New England, but gave her the name of said doctor's former practice.
Afterward, I started thinking. This woman had helped me to decide to have that procedure after describing her ex-husband's experience with it. She had held my hand (literally) through my own experience. And now she was gathering information for the new guy.
A dreadful thought occurred to me. Could this woman be on a mission to have that done to every man in the world, and she's working her way through us one at a time? Could she be capable of such an act?
I remembered her attempts to convert me to Judaism. One of the things holding me back was this ritual. I was not eager to allow even the "ritual shedding of a single drop of blood," despite her best attempts to persuade me.
Even then, it was clear: she was eminently capable of carrying out that plan. And I very well could have been a victim of it.
I wonder if I should warn Mr. Three-To-Be?
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Comments (18)
I now know more about you t... (Below threshold)1. Posted by fatman | June 11, 2005 5:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I now know more about you than I ever wanted (or needed) to know.
1. Posted by fatman | June 11, 2005 5:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 05:24
2. Posted by Cybrludite | June 11, 2005 5:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm so glad that sundry ex's have only tried to do that to me metaphorically...
2. Posted by Cybrludite | June 11, 2005 5:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 05:29
3. Posted by slim999 | June 11, 2005 5:35 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dood ... her name wouldn't be Lorena by any chance, would it?
3. Posted by slim999 | June 11, 2005 5:35 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 05:35
4. Posted by spelling sympathizer | June 11, 2005 6:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
when My ex.. who JT will acknowledge someday as being a twit.. asked me out to dinner after our divorce, she proceded to tell me that the guy she was dating "Michael"( a good enough psuedonom) was going to start living with her, I said to her,. Are you sure you want to... everyguy you end up living with, you break up with after a few months. To which she responds.. Not true. look at us.. I took a moment.. a breath.. and with unexpected volume I pointed out the obvious " WE GOT DIVORCED!!!!" The point being, many times people keep trying to shape someone to their image outside of reality
4. Posted by spelling sympathizer | June 11, 2005 6:53 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 06:53
5. Posted by Lysander | June 11, 2005 8:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Another point towards "is she capable" - she either missed the memo that it was verboten to prostletize, or ignored it. If the latter, then I'd say she's more than capable.
5. Posted by Lysander | June 11, 2005 8:54 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 08:54
6. Posted by BlogDog | June 11, 2005 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You should warn him.
If you don't, it could unmake a vas defrens.
6. Posted by BlogDog | June 11, 2005 11:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 11:37
7. Posted by fooltomery | June 11, 2005 11:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
A less conspiratorial take on your ex-girlfriend's slice-and-dice approach to her boyfriends: she doesn't want to have a baby and doesn't want to be the one who has to take precautions.
Viciousness is rarer than selfishness and laziness.
7. Posted by fooltomery | June 11, 2005 11:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 11:43
8. Posted by thfirstbrokenangel | June 11, 2005 2:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I think you are finally on the right path.
Cindy
8. Posted by thfirstbrokenangel | June 11, 2005 2:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 14:05
9. Posted by el Jacek | June 11, 2005 3:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OMG, dude that was possibly the most awful thing I've ever seen. Forget about faces of death, or some of these absurdly raunchy websites. Vasectomy, ai, argh, jesus h. christ. that was paiful. wow.
9. Posted by el Jacek | June 11, 2005 3:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 15:22
10. Posted by pennywit | June 11, 2005 4:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pardon me, but can't resist ...
Has this opened a vas gulf between you and your ex?
--|PW|--
10. Posted by pennywit | June 11, 2005 4:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 16:09
11. Posted by McGehee | June 11, 2005 4:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Why do her husbands/boyfriends have to get the surgery? If she's the one doesn't want kids, there's a little thing called "tubal ligation."
And those two words would have been the first out of my mouth if a woman I was involved with started talking vasectomy to me.
Though, if I wanted kids, maybe I wouldn't have said anything but, "I'll call you sometime."
11. Posted by McGehee | June 11, 2005 4:13 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 16:13
12. Posted by Zsa Zsa | June 11, 2005 8:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
We are talking about a vasectomy?... Aren't we?...I didn't let my husband do that! I didn't want to hurt him, so I got tube tied!
12. Posted by Zsa Zsa | June 11, 2005 8:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 20:46
13. Posted by Zsa Zsa | June 11, 2005 8:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
P.S. Jay tea! I think you should tell her to get her tubes tied if she doesn't want children!... Meanwhile...That dude should be warned about her! Especially if they are not married! He might meet someone else someday!...
13. Posted by Zsa Zsa | June 11, 2005 8:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 11, 2005 20:51
14. Posted by Macker | June 12, 2005 1:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Good God Man! WARN THE GUY! Don't let that ex of yours do to him what she had you go through!!!!
14. Posted by Macker | June 12, 2005 1:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 12, 2005 01:01
15. Posted by fatman | June 12, 2005 2:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know, I think someone wrote a song about this. I forget who sang it, but it was called "What A Deferens A Day Makes".
15. Posted by fatman | June 12, 2005 2:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 12, 2005 14:49
16. Posted by Wendigo | June 12, 2005 9:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chances are she's just the controlling type.
16. Posted by Wendigo | June 12, 2005 9:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 12, 2005 21:37
17. Posted by Sue Dohnim | June 12, 2005 9:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You gave up the possibility of ever fathering a child because of a request from a non-spouse? But cutting off your foreskin, which has no effect on your ability to procreate or "recreate," was too much for you to take?
Something is not right with you.
17. Posted by Sue Dohnim | June 12, 2005 9:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 12, 2005 21:39
18. Posted by Joseph Hertzlinger | June 14, 2005 11:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I don't think vasectomies are allowed by Jewish law.
Insisting on a vasectomy and a conversion is a bit like insisting on kosher slaughter for your ham sandwich.
18. Posted by Joseph Hertzlinger | June 14, 2005 11:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 14, 2005 23:36