(Warning: this post contains some harsh language. I'm sticking the meat of it in the extended section.)
When I was younger, I coined a phrase to describe certain behaviors and indicators that a person would not be pleasant to deal with, and would probably be best avoided entirely. I called these signs "AEWIs."
That stood for Asshole Early Warning Indicators. These aren't always 100% accurate, but they've served me well over the years.
Earlier today, I spotted several of these on one guy. He was on a motorcycle, and I'd say I outweighed him by maybe 10 pounds at most (and I've mentioned a few times I could definitely stand to lose some weight). On his helmet he had a variety of decals. I got close enough to read a couple of them:
NO FAT CHICKS
YOUR LITTLE PRINCESS IS MY DIRTY LITTLE WHORE
I'm fairly comfortable assuming that the others I couldn't make out were in a similar vein.
Now, there's a fine chance that this gentleman is the salt of the earth, kind to animals and small children, gives generously to charity, and helps little old ladies across the street. But I doubt it.
As the old saying goes, "the race may not always go to the swift, nor the battle to the strong -- but that's the way to bet."
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Dumbasses
Comments (9)
Wow. I spotted a "Don't Li... (Below threshold)1. Posted by penny | June 2, 2005 8:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Wow. I spotted a "Don't Like My Driving - Dial 1-800-Eat-My-S**T" bumpersticker recently.
I was thinking after the third incredulously and careful read: could this idiot really have a mother?, friends?, an employer?, a parole officer?, a gun?. What gives meaning to his life? Why is he roaming freely among us? Who holds a copyright to a bumpersticker like that?
I wish you hadn't made me think about it again.
1. Posted by penny | June 2, 2005 8:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 2, 2005 20:57
2. Posted by Walter Guest | June 2, 2005 10:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
They might as well have a loser sticker.
I had a frame on my license plate for years that said:
I'M SORRY
IT'S ONLY ME
Chicks would drive up alongside and start up a conversation. I was married at the time.
I passed the car down to my oldest son. He ditched the frame first thing.
2. Posted by Walter Guest | June 2, 2005 10:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 2, 2005 22:06
3. Posted by Darleen | June 3, 2005 1:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ya outta see some of the tatoos gangbangers sport ...
The mug shot of one 5'4" hardcore included this little ditty, in appropriate scrolling script, visible on his shaved head: Hey bitch, I ain't the one.
I won't even start on what one NLR (nazi lowrider) guy on trial had tatted on various parts (including some very sensitive parts) of his body.
Yep..these idiots fulfill their own destiny by advertising to the world their utter assholiness.
3. Posted by Darleen | June 3, 2005 1:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 01:49
4. Posted by mesablue | June 3, 2005 2:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jay,
If you need a ride to the motorcycle dealership to pick up your new bike, I might be available.
Bring your own helmet.
4. Posted by mesablue | June 3, 2005 2:53 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 02:53
5. Posted by Cybrludite | June 3, 2005 7:29 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Huh. I wonder what my "My Honor Student Beat Up France" bumpersticker says about me?
5. Posted by Cybrludite | June 3, 2005 7:29 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 07:29
6. Posted by Jay Tea | June 3, 2005 7:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cybrludite, not much. It's really not that much to braga about. It's kind of like "my honor student can walk and chew gum at the same time."
J.
6. Posted by Jay Tea | June 3, 2005 7:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 07:36
7. Posted by Sherard | June 3, 2005 8:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Is there a point to this posting ? Not as far as I can see. Thanks for wasting those 2 minutes of my life.
7. Posted by Sherard | June 3, 2005 8:10 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 08:10
8. Posted by dchamil | June 3, 2005 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The quote is Damon Runyon's update on Ecclesiastes 9:11 "The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor riches to men of understanding ... but time and chance cometh to them all." Andy Rooney recently went a little farther, discarding some of the ten commandments he thought were unnecessary and updating the others.
8. Posted by dchamil | June 3, 2005 10:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 10:09
9. Posted by snowballs | June 3, 2005 11:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"If you can read this, my old lady fell off"
9. Posted by snowballs | June 3, 2005 11:14 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 3, 2005 11:14