Sorry to hear about that, Kevin. Let me ask you this: what is it with post-funeral receptions? We lost my grandad on Saturday, and have volunteered to host a gathering after the funeral. The house seems to have filled up with beer, wine and assorted dips, but I;m not so sure it's in the best of taste to get everyone drunk after a funeral. What was yours like?

My sincere condolences.

I never understood the need to have a pseudo-party after a FUNERAL. My family and relatives simply return to our respective homes.

This is partly a cultural tradition. Certainly the Irish tradition is to have a big loud wake with music and plenty 'o booze -- a celebration of life.

Kevin...didn't send you an email but did send online well wishes and more. You and your family have remained included among my prayers during your time of loss. I am glad to read that you are back with us and I continue to wish best for you and your family -- I can surely tell you that with fathers, you never "get over it," when they pass, you just learn to accept that they aren't available to hug and visit with in any direct way, but I am sure that, for example, my dad (who passed away years ago and was very much loved by me and many others) still makes his counsel and love known when needed.

About all the food, I THINK it originated in the thinking that for those of us who remain alive, we are to be encouraged to do so: eat well, be nourished, feed everyone (let others know you want them to be well fed and offer some of your own goods to their benefit) such that we can and are encouraged to remain healthy, fit and to carry on.

It's the idea that to remain in mourning, to deprive ourselves, is to be diminished and eventually to associate more with death than with life. By eating, drinking, making merry and making gifts of food and drink to those in mourning, we encourage ourselves and everyone else to associate with life and to focus on living instead of to continue to associate with the loved one, who is now deceased.

It's like saying, "eat this, forget about it, let them go in the way that you used to know them, focus on the life they led and not the death they experience, and most of all, focus on life itself."

So, eat, drink, be merry.