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Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: April 1, 2005 - 9:17 AM

It's Friday, which means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Enter your best caption for the following picture:

Emperor penguins look up at a giant imposter at Tokyo's Ueno Zoo, Japan. Zoo director Teruyuki Komiya dressed up for a stint in the penguin enclosure for the annual April Fool event to display a human being at the zoo(AFP/Yoshikazu Tsuno)


Winners will be announced Sunday.

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

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Comments (95)

The bender having gone just... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Jack in TX | April 1, 2005 9:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jack in TX:

The bender having gone just a little too long, Teddy's latest Town Hall meeting starts to scare him..

1. Posted by Jack in TX | April 1, 2005 9:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:25

Don't worry guys, it's only... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Brian Beatty | April 1, 2005 9:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Beatty:

Don't worry guys, it's only John Kerry. I heard rumors that the Dems had kicked him out and he's looking for a new place to fit in.

2. Posted by Brian Beatty | April 1, 2005 9:27 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:27

"Upus, renown fish diver an... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Jim in Texas | April 1, 2005 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim in Texas:

"Upus, renown fish diver and youger brother to famed cartoon penguin Opus, strongly denied steroid use in testimony in front of the select committee of the Zoo Penguin Control Sports Association.

Unnamed sources on the committee have not ruled out drug testing."

3. Posted by Jim in Texas | April 1, 2005 9:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:28

Honestly, my brother is Jac... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by Danger Kitty | April 1, 2005 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Danger Kitty:

Honestly, my brother is Jack Box and I was the one to give him the idea for the new Chibatta bread chicken breast sandwich.

4. Posted by Danger Kitty | April 1, 2005 9:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:38

Nudie magazine day! Nudie m... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Smug Monkey | April 1, 2005 9:38 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Smug Monkey:

Nudie magazine day! Nudie magazine day!

5. Posted by Smug Monkey | April 1, 2005 9:38 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:38

Clearly none of the penguin... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Hoodlumman | April 1, 2005 9:39 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hoodlumman:

Clearly none of the penguins were buying Phil's reasons that he wasn't doping.

6. Posted by Hoodlumman | April 1, 2005 9:39 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:39

Although Steve's freakishly... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by CeeJ | April 1, 2005 9:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
CeeJ:

Although Steve's freakishly large size was an advantage for basketball, for some reason he was always picked last in Emperor Penguin Gym Class.

7. Posted by CeeJ | April 1, 2005 9:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:42

No, really. It's all "bowfl... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Greg | April 1, 2005 9:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Greg:

No, really. It's all "bowflex"

8. Posted by Greg | April 1, 2005 9:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:57

"Mate, it doesn't matter... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Lysander | April 1, 2005 9:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lysander:

"Mate, it doesn't matter how much dope you took, you still can't swing a bat!"

9. Posted by Lysander | April 1, 2005 9:59 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 09:59

"Wow, this steroid scandal ... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Bryan | April 1, 2005 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bryan:

"Wow, this steroid scandal is really spreading!"

10. Posted by Bryan | April 1, 2005 10:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:00

1) Sandy Berger finally fou... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by lawhawk | April 1, 2005 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
lawhawk:

1) Sandy Berger finally found a place where he thought he could fit in.

2) Jose Canseco, is that you? I knew you took steroids, but that's just rediculous.

3) Howard Dean finally found a crowd that took him seriously.

11. Posted by lawhawk | April 1, 2005 10:00 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:00

Seriously guys, does this m... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Allium | April 1, 2005 10:14 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Allium:

Seriously guys, does this make me look fat?

12. Posted by Allium | April 1, 2005 10:14 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:14

I have never taken steroids... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by John Smyth | April 1, 2005 10:16 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John Smyth:

I have never taken steroids senator...........

13. Posted by John Smyth | April 1, 2005 10:16 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:16

George Felos holds another ... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Jim | April 1, 2005 10:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jim:

George Felos holds another 2 hour press conference. Mr. Felos also provided some beauty tips for the sick and invalid.

14. Posted by Jim | April 1, 2005 10:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:17

Tom Daschle warms up to his... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by Marty | April 1, 2005 10:18 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Marty:

Tom Daschle warms up to his new job at the Sioux Falls Zoo.

15. Posted by Marty | April 1, 2005 10:18 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:18

Then they took our fish and... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by John Smyth | April 1, 2005 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John Smyth:

Then they took our fish and said "go ahead and get your big brother".

16. Posted by John Smyth | April 1, 2005 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:20

Michael Schiavo goes into h... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Rick13 | April 1, 2005 10:20 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rick13:

Michael Schiavo goes into hiding.......

17. Posted by Rick13 | April 1, 2005 10:20 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:20

"I'm John Kerry and I'm rep... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by Governor Breck | April 1, 2005 10:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Governor Breck:

"I'm John Kerry and I'm reporting for duty!"

18. Posted by Governor Breck | April 1, 2005 10:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:23

"I like them biscuits and m... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Rick13 | April 1, 2005 10:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rick13:

"I like them biscuits and mustard, UM, HUM"!

"Slingguin"

19. Posted by Rick13 | April 1, 2005 10:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:26

Al Gore explaining how he i... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by Dave M | April 1, 2005 10:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dave M:

Al Gore explaining how he invented Linux.

20. Posted by Dave M | April 1, 2005 10:26 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:26

As a Democrat and one of y... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by Rusty | April 1, 2005 10:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rusty:

As a Democrat and one of you, I will push for statehood for Washington D.C. and the right to vote for everyone confined in the National Zoo.

21. Posted by Rusty | April 1, 2005 10:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:42

"Sadly, Michael Moore turne... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Odrady | April 1, 2005 10:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Odrady:

"Sadly, Michael Moore turned to increasingly bizarre methods to attract followers following the 2004 Election"

22. Posted by Odrady | April 1, 2005 10:42 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:42

Jacko has found a new way t... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Cybrludite | April 1, 2005 10:46 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cybrludite:

Jacko has found a new way to hang around underaged children without drawing suspicion...

23. Posted by Cybrludite | April 1, 2005 10:46 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:46

One of these things/Is not ... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Daniel | April 1, 2005 10:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Daniel:

One of these things/Is not like the other...

24. Posted by Daniel | April 1, 2005 10:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:48

"And big penguins is practi... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 1, 2005 10:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

"And big penguins is practically big chickens..."

25. Posted by Laurence Simon | April 1, 2005 10:49 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:49

Sandy Berger begins his com... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by HeyMike | April 1, 2005 10:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
HeyMike:

Sandy Berger begins his community service sentence today...

26. Posted by HeyMike | April 1, 2005 10:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:54

“Hey Dad will I grow to be ... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Stan25 | April 1, 2005 10:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

“Hey Dad will I grow to be that big?”

27. Posted by Stan25 | April 1, 2005 10:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:57

You know what they say abou... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Mike | April 1, 2005 10:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mike:

You know what they say about Emperor Penguins with big feet!

28. Posted by Mike | April 1, 2005 10:58 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 10:58

"I say this a fun zoo. What... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by Hodink | April 1, 2005 11:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hodink:

"I say this a fun zoo. What time is the luge for elephants and penguins?"

29. Posted by Hodink | April 1, 2005 11:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:02

His traffic falling, O-Dub ... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | April 1, 2005 11:10 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SCSIwuzzy:

His traffic falling, O-Dub searches for a new group that will conform to his worldview... Pros: Free fish Cons: That niggling feeling, that somehow, this is racist. Still, better than the Cool Aid costume....

30. Posted by SCSIwuzzy | April 1, 2005 11:10 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:10

The Soviets just HAD to one... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by NeoFascist? | April 1, 2005 11:11 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
NeoFascist?:

The Soviets just HAD to one-up us, didn't they?

31. Posted by NeoFascist? | April 1, 2005 11:11 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:11

Dean addressing the dnc... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by TheEnigma | April 1, 2005 11:17 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TheEnigma:

Dean addressing the dnc

"Yes, I know it is suppose to be lemming costumes, but this is the best I could do on such short notice. Now, will you just shut up and follow me as I jump off this cliff?"

32. Posted by TheEnigma | April 1, 2005 11:17 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:17

Small penguin on left: "... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 11:23 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Small penguin on left: "...and now Edmunds gone, what is happeinging? what are we going to do?"
Polar bear in penguin suit: "(burp)"

33. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 11:23 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:23

Small Penguins: "fake, fake... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 11:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Small Penguins: "fake, fake, fake, fake, fake, fake ..."
Large Penguin: "Shaddap!"

34. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 11:24 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:24

"What's that on the Telly?"... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 11:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"What's that on the Telly?"

35. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 11:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:25

I've called this meeting be... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by Steven L. | April 1, 2005 11:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Steven L.:

I've called this meeting because I think we've been infiltrated by a spy.

36. Posted by Steven L. | April 1, 2005 11:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:28

Howard Dean, kicking off th... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by Clay Jarr | April 1, 2005 11:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Clay Jarr:

Howard Dean, kicking off the DNC's 'Penguins are People, too' campaign, addresses a group of constituents. Dean, clearly buoyed by studies that show penguins overwhelmingly vote democrat by a 6:1 margin, vehemently denied allegations of pandering to the penguin vote.

37. Posted by Clay Jarr | April 1, 2005 11:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:37

Bill Gates spying on a Linu... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by Brian Day | April 1, 2005 11:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Day:

Bill Gates spying on a Linux User's Group meeting.

38. Posted by Brian Day | April 1, 2005 11:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:44

Doctor I told you not to mi... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by The WASP | April 1, 2005 11:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The WASP:

Doctor I told you not to mix cloning with steroids and wilt chamberlain's dna...

39. Posted by The WASP | April 1, 2005 11:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:50

Sure, he got to be God Of T... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Eric | April 1, 2005 11:53 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Eric:

Sure, he got to be God Of The Penguins, but after a while their adulation just left Arthur feeling empty.

40. Posted by Eric | April 1, 2005 11:53 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:53

Damn, this isn't the Flamin... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by The WASP | April 1, 2005 11:54 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The WASP:

Damn, this isn't the Flamings Lips concert..

41. Posted by The WASP | April 1, 2005 11:54 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:54

The Zoo's Top Penguin Took ... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by RightWingDuck | April 1, 2005 11:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RightWingDuck:

The Zoo's Top Penguin Took ill. NOt wanting to alarm the public, they improvised a replacement.

42. Posted by RightWingDuck | April 1, 2005 11:57 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 11:57

Congress is dismissing the ... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 12:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Congress is dismissing the need for any investigation, but the Yankee's, however, are showing interest.

43. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 12:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:03

In a soft gentle voice: <br... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Maggie | April 1, 2005 12:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Maggie:

In a soft gentle voice:
"...and I want you all to call me 'Daddy'."

44. Posted by Maggie | April 1, 2005 12:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:11

It all started to go wrong ... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Crank | April 1, 2005 12:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Crank:

It all started to go wrong for Henry when the penguin in front turned his back and mooned him.

45. Posted by Crank | April 1, 2005 12:32 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:32

[Kevin's probably going to ... (Below threshold)

46. Posted by Jinx McHue | April 1, 2005 12:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jinx McHue:

[Kevin's probably going to ban me for this...]

At last! Proof that evolution is true!

46. Posted by Jinx McHue | April 1, 2005 12:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:34

Management at the National ... (Below threshold)

47. Posted by Rob@L&R | April 1, 2005 12:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rob@L&R:

Management at the National Zoo in Washington, DC attempted to cover up another animal death; that of Peppy the Emperor Penguin.

Visitors became suspicious when "Peppy" wandered away from the other penguins and lit a cigarette.

Smoking is prohibited at the zoo, especially by the animals.

47. Posted by Rob@L&R | April 1, 2005 12:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:36

Hey mom, where is my steroi... (Below threshold)

48. Posted by Alvin LEE | April 1, 2005 12:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Alvin LEE:

Hey mom, where is my steroids. I would like to be as big as you !

48. Posted by Alvin LEE | April 1, 2005 12:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:47

Filming began on "The Opus ... (Below threshold)

49. Posted by Not Tony | April 1, 2005 12:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Not Tony:

Filming began on "The Opus Movie" Thursday, starring Michael Jackson.

49. Posted by Not Tony | April 1, 2005 12:50 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 12:50

I am Spartacus.... (Below threshold)

50. Posted by b | April 1, 2005 1:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
b:

I am Spartacus.

50. Posted by b | April 1, 2005 1:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:22

Michael's plans for just di... (Below threshold)

51. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 1:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Michael's plans for just disappearing suddenly went awry when one child in the crowd said, "Hey, that big penguin is always hanging around the littles ones AND he's doing the moonwalk!"

51. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 1:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:22

Ostracized by the chimpanze... (Below threshold)

52. Posted by GaijinBiker | April 1, 2005 1:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
GaijinBiker:

Ostracized by the chimpanzees, Jane Goodall tries desperately to find new animals to study.

52. Posted by GaijinBiker | April 1, 2005 1:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:22

As the news of the missing ... (Below threshold)

53. Posted by Faith+1 | April 1, 2005 1:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

As the news of the missing fish stash spread all heads turned to Phil...

53. Posted by Faith+1 | April 1, 2005 1:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:23

"Don't listen to that big o... (Below threshold)

54. Posted by Hermoine | April 1, 2005 1:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hermoine:

"Don't listen to that big one. His name is Curveball and he gives bad advice."

54. Posted by Hermoine | April 1, 2005 1:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:47

Depressed about the cancell... (Below threshold)

55. Posted by Jeff | April 1, 2005 1:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Depressed about the cancellation of the National Hockey League season, Pittsburgh Penguins fan Kenneth Baugh has taken extreme measures to be near any penguins on ice.

55. Posted by Jeff | April 1, 2005 1:48 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:48

John Smith, the zoo's sexua... (Below threshold)

56. Posted by Master Shake | April 1, 2005 1:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Master Shake:

John Smith, the zoo's sexual reorientation therapist (left), attempts to "scare the gay" out of this all-male group of penguins.

56. Posted by Master Shake | April 1, 2005 1:57 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 13:57

1) Trying to preempt yet an... (Below threshold)

57. Posted by FreakyBoy | April 1, 2005 2:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

1) Trying to preempt yet another scandal, Kofi goes undercover at the UN Antartic Refugee Camp to inspect the Ice for Fish program.

2) With sadness, Herman reports back the iceberg elders that it appears no amount of steroids will help penguins fly.

57. Posted by FreakyBoy | April 1, 2005 2:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:01

Cruella DeVil takes matters... (Below threshold)

58. Posted by Jeff | April 1, 2005 2:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Cruella DeVil takes matters into her own hands as she gathers the last of the penguins needed to finish her latest coat.

58. Posted by Jeff | April 1, 2005 2:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:03

Repeat after me.."Windows i... (Below threshold)

59. Posted by Insomniac | April 1, 2005 2:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Insomniac:

Repeat after me.."Windows is garbage, and Bill Gates is the devil. Windows is garbage, and Bill Gates is the Devil."

59. Posted by Insomniac | April 1, 2005 2:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:04

"Parts is parts." - Frank P... (Below threshold)

60. Posted by Clioman | April 1, 2005 2:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Clioman:

"Parts is parts." - Frank Purdue, RIP

60. Posted by Clioman | April 1, 2005 2:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:14

In the early days, before h... (Below threshold)

61. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 2:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

In the early days, before he stumbled on the right animal mimicry formula, Marlin Perkins lost a number of assistants as well as running up a substantial bill at Big Cat Costumes, Inc.

61. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 1, 2005 2:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:31

Ever since the incident wit... (Below threshold)

62. Posted by Jeff | April 1, 2005 2:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Ever since the incident with the nuclear powered Soviet submarine, Kenneth feels that the other penguins now treat him like he is some kind of freak or simply avoid him altogether.

62. Posted by Jeff | April 1, 2005 2:39 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:39

--Howard Dean takes other l... (Below threshold)

63. Posted by Sister Toldjah | April 1, 2005 2:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sister Toldjah:

--Howard Dean takes other leaders of the DNC on a field trip. Film at 11.--

63. Posted by Sister Toldjah | April 1, 2005 2:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:42

Mike Rogers infiltrates gay... (Below threshold)

64. Posted by Chrees | April 1, 2005 2:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chrees:

Mike Rogers infiltrates gay penguins, determined to "out" the Republican ones...

64. Posted by Chrees | April 1, 2005 2:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:49

"Martha, I told you mating ... (Below threshold)

65. Posted by JAT0 | April 1, 2005 2:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
JAT0:

"Martha, I told you mating with that sKerry fellow would come to no good! Now look at what you have to show for that unholy union!”

Or,

Look what you get if Heinz-Kerry and Michael Moore mate! One big ugly, useless, flightless, fish-smelling, neo-squawking, leftwing, I hate everyone penguin!

65. Posted by JAT0 | April 1, 2005 2:51 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 14:51

Hey, it's Al Gore and he sh... (Below threshold)

66. Posted by Neophyte Pundit | April 1, 2005 3:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Neophyte Pundit:

Hey, it's Al Gore and he shaved his beard and lost some weight! He's actually leading his crew!

66. Posted by Neophyte Pundit | April 1, 2005 3:08 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 15:08

Hillary Clinton continues t... (Below threshold)

67. Posted by Randy P. | April 1, 2005 5:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Randy P.:

Hillary Clinton continues to redefine herself in preparation for the '08 election.

67. Posted by Randy P. | April 1, 2005 5:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 17:05

"Fear and Loathing in Antar... (Below threshold)

68. Posted by MichaelW | April 1, 2005 5:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MichaelW:

"Fear and Loathing in Antarctica" -- Penguin Books Edition

68. Posted by MichaelW | April 1, 2005 5:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 17:05

Patrons watch the final sce... (Below threshold)

69. Posted by FreakyBoy | April 1, 2005 5:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
FreakyBoy:

Patrons watch the final scence from the Zoological Players revival of "One Swam Under the Penguins Rookery", where the quiet, giant Peguin is egged on by the other inmates to pick up the stump and break out of the Zoo.

69. Posted by FreakyBoy | April 1, 2005 5:09 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 17:09

"Uhhh ... Quack ...?"... (Below threshold)

70. Posted by MichaelW | April 1, 2005 5:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
MichaelW:

"Uhhh ... Quack ...?"

James realized too late that his clumsy greeting may have blown his cover.

70. Posted by MichaelW | April 1, 2005 5:10 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 17:10

Psst. That Kerry fool must... (Below threshold)

71. Posted by Pat | April 1, 2005 6:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Pat:

Psst. That Kerry fool must be running for president again, and wants our vote.

71. Posted by Pat | April 1, 2005 6:05 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 18:05

Hey you bird brains, I make... (Below threshold)

72. Posted by wannabe | April 1, 2005 6:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
wannabe:

Hey you bird brains, I make be fake but I'm accurate!

72. Posted by wannabe | April 1, 2005 6:06 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 18:06

Sesame Street flashback...<... (Below threshold)

73. Posted by Faith+1 | April 1, 2005 6:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Faith+1:

Sesame Street flashback...

"One of us....is not like the others...."

73. Posted by Faith+1 | April 1, 2005 6:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 18:47

Oooooh, lookie boys. That's... (Below threshold)

74. Posted by Randall | April 1, 2005 8:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Randall:

Oooooh, lookie boys. That's a biggggggg one!!

74. Posted by Randall | April 1, 2005 8:24 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 20:24

Although a rare occurrence,... (Below threshold)

75. Posted by Red | April 1, 2005 8:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Red:

Although a rare occurrence, Cecil suddenly experienced that a 4 hour erection was not the only side effect of his Cialis.

75. Posted by Red | April 1, 2005 8:42 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 20:42

Dang, Randy got my Hillary ... (Below threshold)

76. Posted by HelenW | April 1, 2005 9:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
HelenW:

Dang, Randy got my Hillary caption. Next best:

Secretary-General Kofi Annan resigns UN for undisclosed leadership position.

76. Posted by HelenW | April 1, 2005 9:22 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 21:22

PETA undercover agent Sebas... (Below threshold)

77. Posted by crerar | April 1, 2005 9:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
crerar:

PETA undercover agent Sebastien Panklethorpe is pictured here relaying escape plans to a huddle of Emperor penguins interned at a Tokyo zoo.

77. Posted by crerar | April 1, 2005 9:30 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 21:30

Realizing that he would no ... (Below threshold)

78. Posted by Dodo David | April 1, 2005 10:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dodo David:

Realizing that he would no longer be allowed to "play" with boys, Michael Jackson tries to "play" with the children of another species.

78. Posted by Dodo David | April 1, 2005 10:19 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 22:19

Paul, preparing for April F... (Below threshold)

79. Posted by Tom Blogical | April 1, 2005 11:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Tom Blogical:

Paul, preparing for April Fools Day 2006, posts yet again with this picture and the following line: "The zoologist in the penguin suit is an oozer."

79. Posted by Tom Blogical | April 1, 2005 11:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 1, 2005 23:11

Part indian and part pengui... (Below threshold)

80. Posted by fustian | April 2, 2005 12:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
fustian:

Part indian and part penguin, Ward Churcill was a natural to head up the new polar studies department at Harvard.

80. Posted by fustian | April 2, 2005 12:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 00:02

"Today, class, we are going... (Below threshold)

81. Posted by DeputyHeadmistress | April 2, 2005 12:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DeputyHeadmistress:

"Today, class, we are going to visit the humans in the zoo. Mind, now, and don't feed them. They are on a carefully controlled diet to keep them from getting fat in captivity."

81. Posted by DeputyHeadmistress | April 2, 2005 12:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 00:21

Having lost the entire seas... (Below threshold)

82. Posted by Deaner59 | April 2, 2005 12:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Deaner59:

Having lost the entire season due to the NHL lockout the Pittsburgh Penguins decide to put their mascot out to stud.

82. Posted by Deaner59 | April 2, 2005 12:37 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 00:37

"I knew I shouldn't have tr... (Below threshold)

83. Posted by Meg Berry | April 2, 2005 1:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Meg Berry:

"I knew I shouldn't have trusted a tuxedo salesman working at a zoo."

83. Posted by Meg Berry | April 2, 2005 1:19 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 01:19

In scene rarely captured on... (Below threshold)

84. Posted by spacemonkey | April 2, 2005 1:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
spacemonkey:

In scene rarely captured on film, a penquin bully takes lunch money from smaller weaker birds.

84. Posted by spacemonkey | April 2, 2005 1:44 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 01:44

Paul reveals photographic e... (Below threshold)

85. Posted by McCain | April 2, 2005 2:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McCain:

Paul reveals photographic evidence of the Intelligent Designer.

85. Posted by McCain | April 2, 2005 2:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 02:52

Being 1/32 penguin Ward Chu... (Below threshold)

86. Posted by RR | April 2, 2005 8:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
RR:

Being 1/32 penguin Ward Churchill rallys his loyal minions to fight "The Man".

86. Posted by RR | April 2, 2005 8:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 08:08

"No, you little bastards! ... (Below threshold)

87. Posted by Kaptain Krude | April 2, 2005 9:47 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kaptain Krude:

"No, you little bastards! I don't want any fish heads!" -- John Kerry's memory of Christmas 2004 is seared _seared_ into his brain.

87. Posted by Kaptain Krude | April 2, 2005 9:47 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 09:47

Large Penguin (Thinking): "... (Below threshold)

88. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 2, 2005 10:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Large Penguin (Thinking): "I don't go to the zoo, it was that bastard Secret Service Agent that drugged me, gagged me, and put me in this stupid costume."

88. Posted by Rodney Dill | April 2, 2005 10:21 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 10:21

Attempting to revive her ca... (Below threshold)

89. Posted by Greg | April 2, 2005 8:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Greg:

Attempting to revive her career after "Catwoman", Halle Berry is seen on the set of her latest film, "The Empress."

89. Posted by Greg | April 2, 2005 8:53 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 20:53

"So I rubbed the urn and th... (Below threshold)

90. Posted by robert | April 2, 2005 11:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
robert:

"So I rubbed the urn and the guy said: 'I grant you three wishes', blah, blah, blah. So I said: 'Screw off Bozo, like you're going to turn me into some giant standup penguin comic or something."

90. Posted by robert | April 2, 2005 11:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 2, 2005 23:40

Where is PETA when you real... (Below threshold)

91. Posted by Stan25 | April 3, 2005 12:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

Where is PETA when you really need them?

91. Posted by Stan25 | April 3, 2005 12:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 3, 2005 12:23

A photo of Danny Divito aud... (Below threshold)

92. Posted by Stan25 | April 3, 2005 12:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stan25:

A photo of Danny Divito auditioning for the upcoming movie “The Penguin Returns”

92. Posted by Stan25 | April 3, 2005 12:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 3, 2005 12:29

Kenneth Baugh, President of... (Below threshold)

93. Posted by Jeff | April 3, 2005 10:13 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jeff:

Kenneth Baugh, President of the local Furries Chapter, decides to field test his new costume before traveling to the anual Fur Con to be held in Las Vegas.

93. Posted by Jeff | April 3, 2005 10:13 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 3, 2005 22:13

Should have read the small ... (Below threshold)

94. Posted by McTrip | April 3, 2005 11:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McTrip:

Should have read the small print - damned if I didn't think I was buying a penis enlargement process.......

94. Posted by McTrip | April 3, 2005 11:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 3, 2005 23:49

Update: <... (Below threshold)

95. Posted by Kevin | April 4, 2005 1:08 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kevin:

Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

95. Posted by Kevin | April 4, 2005 1:08 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on April 4, 2005 01:08




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