President Bush at a campaign event today reiterated his administration's opposition to drowning kittens. "That is an action we have never endorsed, never practiced, and never will tolerate. If the American people re-elect us, I give my solemn pledge that that ban will continue to be rigorously enforced."
Bush was asked if that would be different under a Kerry/Edwards administration. "I can't speak for them. I have noticed that a large number of animal-rights activists -- those with a lot of access to kittens through humane shelters -- are supporters of the Democratic ticket. I also have noticed that both Senators Kerry and Edwards have offices near the Reflecting Pool in Washington, which is large enough and wide enough to drown a lot of kittens. And Democrats have, traditionally, supported such policies as abortion rights and euthenasia. But I repeat, I can't speak for them, nor can I predict what changes in long-standing policies a Kerry-Edwards administration might make."
The Kerry administration probably would have denied any allegations that they intend to institute kitten-drownings, but we didn't bother to contact them.
J.
Permalink | Linking Blogs | Sphere: Related Content | Digg this! | FARK It!
Filed under:
Satire
Comments (5)
ROFLMAO... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Paul | September 26, 2004 11:41 AM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
ROFLMAO
1. Posted by Paul | September 26, 2004 11:41 AM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on September 26, 2004 11:41
2. Posted by Vizzini | September 26, 2004 12:33 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
A recent Office of BM study revealed that drowning kittens will cost at least 1.6 million dollars a day. Not drowning them will add 1,600 thousand dollars in catfood, flea powder and hairball removal fees to the daily budgetary drain. To prevent further ballooning of the Federal deficit, the OBM recommended to ignore kittens entirely. No comment from either Bush or Kerry at this time. Dick Cheney offered to nuke them and TH-K simply said "&@#*! the little @#*$#'s, who cares?"
2. Posted by Vizzini | September 26, 2004 12:33 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on September 26, 2004 12:33
3. Posted by Hunter | September 26, 2004 1:15 PM | Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
- Do you have any "memo's" from the RatherFake Institute of Liberal press studies to back up your claims...
- As an aside several blogsites are mounting a second Email campaign to CBS affiliates excoriating the networks decision to go ahead with Rather as the host for its coverage on the Pres. debates....
3. Posted by Hunter | September 26, 2004 1:15 PM |
Score: 1 (1 votes cast)
Posted on September 26, 2004 13:15
4. Posted by Bill from INDC | September 26, 2004 3:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Man, that is some hard hitting journalism. If you were more like 60 Minutes, you would have actually contacted the Kerry campaign and then left their statement on the cutting room floor.
4. Posted by Bill from INDC | September 26, 2004 3:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 26, 2004 15:43
5. Posted by Jim | September 26, 2004 6:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Speaking of 60 Minutes, Bill O'Reilly is the subject of one segment. I guess his move to the left is paying off in exposure by the MSM. They're rewarding him for all his comments about the right-wingers. I for one have stopped watching O'Reilly Factor because -- for all his BS on who's looking out for you -- O'Reilly is looking out for O'Reilly.
5. Posted by Jim | September 26, 2004 6:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 26, 2004 18:08