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It's Friday, that means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Here's the photo for this week:
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
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Comments (165)
I know they say I should sm... (Below threshold)1. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I know they say I should smile more, but how do I fit that cow Lewinsky under the podium anyway?
1. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:36
2. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
How come my bunghole is puckered up so much right now, when I had no trouble defecating on these folks 33 years ago?
2. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:41
3. Posted by Frank | September 17, 2004 3:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And THIS, my friends, is the hand I used to shoot that gook in the back.
3. Posted by Frank | September 17, 2004 3:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:42
4. Posted by Fritz | September 17, 2004 3:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"On this hand I was for the war. On the other hand I was against the war."
4. Posted by Fritz | September 17, 2004 3:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:44
5. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
and as you can see from the diagram on the white board, when you sign up 5 distributors, you'll get a bonus satchel of rice and free soap for 1 year
5. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:44
6. Posted by andy | September 17, 2004 3:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Damn, where's my integrity! Terry! Have you seen it anywhere?
6. Posted by andy | September 17, 2004 3:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:45
7. Posted by Kerry | September 17, 2004 3:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
easy enough, which position do you want to hear?
7. Posted by Kerry | September 17, 2004 3:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:46
8. Posted by Crass | September 17, 2004 3:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Now come up here and smell my fingers and tell me if you think TUH-RAY-ZUH's pussy needs fixing.
8. Posted by Crass | September 17, 2004 3:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:47
9. Posted by jennifer | September 17, 2004 3:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Drink-up, my friends. The Kool-Aid is cold and refreshing.
9. Posted by jennifer | September 17, 2004 3:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:47
10. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I wish Teresa would take the butt plug out before my speeches.....
10. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:48
11. Posted by chris | September 17, 2004 3:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Greetings Draft Dodgers!
11. Posted by chris | September 17, 2004 3:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:58
12. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
and so, I found that by using this throwing motion, I was able to get the medals over the fence without aggravating the shrapnel in my buttocks
12. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 3:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 15:59
13. Posted by KCTrio | September 17, 2004 4:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
With this hand, I will literally, figuratively and gleefully shove it, in its entirety, in the collective nation's, world's and yes you, the voter's, orifice of my choice, when I become commander-in-chief.
13. Posted by KCTrio | September 17, 2004 4:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:01
14. Posted by GoBowsGo | September 17, 2004 4:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ladies and Gentlemen, behold the wonder of the Magic Hat...
14. Posted by GoBowsGo | September 17, 2004 4:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:02
15. Posted by KBiel | September 17, 2004 4:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"To be or not to be, I still can't make up my mind."
15. Posted by KBiel | September 17, 2004 4:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:05
16. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Like she's never soared before, from rocky coast to golden shore, let the mighty eagle soar,"
oO(damn, I'll do anything to be President!)
16. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:06
17. Posted by Joe R. | September 17, 2004 4:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I command you service avoiders to stand and applaud!
17. Posted by Joe R. | September 17, 2004 4:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:08
18. Posted by physics geek | September 17, 2004 4:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And here's the karate death-chop I used on that kid in Vietnam...
18. Posted by physics geek | September 17, 2004 4:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:11
19. Posted by napalmsandwich | September 17, 2004 4:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Come to Butthead."
19. Posted by napalmsandwich | September 17, 2004 4:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:12
20. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm too sexy for my hand.
20. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:18
21. Posted by daniel | September 17, 2004 4:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kerry tosses 3 medals away for old times sake...
21. Posted by daniel | September 17, 2004 4:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:19
22. Posted by daniel | September 17, 2004 4:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kerry tossed 3 medals away for old times sake...
22. Posted by daniel | September 17, 2004 4:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:19
23. Posted by daniel | September 17, 2004 4:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kerry tossed 3 medals away for old times sake...
23. Posted by daniel | September 17, 2004 4:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:20
24. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
To delegates - These aren't the Naval records you're looking for.
Delegates - These aren't the Naval records we're looking for.
24. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:20
25. Posted by Sergeant America | September 17, 2004 4:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Throw down your crutches and blog!
25. Posted by Sergeant America | September 17, 2004 4:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:21
26. Posted by Jim Kouri | September 17, 2004 4:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Will the veterans leaving early please use the exit to the right of the auditorium... I mean the left of the auditorium... no, use the exit to the right... no the left...."
26. Posted by Jim Kouri | September 17, 2004 4:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:21
27. Posted by Jumper #593 | September 17, 2004 4:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sing to House of Pain's Jump Around...
Let me begin
I came not to win
Battle me that's a sin
I won't tear the chads up
Swifties better back up
Try and play the role and James Carville will act up
Get up, stand up, come on!
Come on, throw your hands up
If you've got the feeling jump across the ceiling
CBS is a funk fest, Rather's talking junk
Yo, I'll bust em in the eye
And then I'll take the memos home
Feel it, funk it
Amps it are junking
And I got more rhymes than Michael Moore's at a dunking Donuts shop
Sure 'nuff I got props from the Dems on the Hill
Plus my mom and my pops
[Chorus]
I came to get down [2x]
So get out your vote and jump around
Jump around [3x]
Jump up Jump up and get down.
Jump [18x]
I'll serve your butt like John MacEnroe
If Hillary steps up, I'm smacking the ho
Word to Osama I won't drop bombs
I got more positions than the bible's got psalms
And just like the Prodigal Son I've returned
Anyone stepping to me you'll get burned
Cause I got ribbons and you ain't got none
So if you come to battle (don't) bring a shotgun...
27. Posted by Jumper #593 | September 17, 2004 4:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:21
28. Posted by Patrick Lasswell | September 17, 2004 4:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
...and that is why I must denounce you all for betraying your country by serving in the National Guard. Can't you ingrates give me just one standing ovation?
28. Posted by Patrick Lasswell | September 17, 2004 4:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:22
29. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kneel before Zod!
29. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:22
30. Posted by Jmaster | September 17, 2004 4:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(waving hand side to side)
“The question, has been asked, by philosophers, and poets, from time, immemorial, to the time, of Genghis Khan, and on, and on, through the ages: What is the sound, of one hand, clapping? And now, my fellow soldiers, I am, truly blessed, to finally, finally, realize, and fully appreciate, here today, the answer, to this timeless, yet still relevant, question. The sound, of one hand, clapping, is the very sound, of the applause, which you, my brothers, in arms, are so graciously, and warmly, showering upon me, this day.”
30. Posted by Jmaster | September 17, 2004 4:23 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:23
31. Posted by Sergeant America | September 17, 2004 4:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I was in the Regular Navy and I love pogey bait!
31. Posted by Sergeant America | September 17, 2004 4:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:24
32. Posted by Jim Kouri | September 17, 2004 4:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you "Little Me" John Edwards"
32. Posted by Jim Kouri | September 17, 2004 4:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:24
33. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Please welcome my special guest, Jane Fonda.
33. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:26
34. Posted by Sergeant America | September 17, 2004 4:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The best thing that has ever happened to me while having seamen run down my leg; was to be Wizbanged!
34. Posted by Sergeant America | September 17, 2004 4:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:26
35. Posted by francus | September 17, 2004 4:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You there! Surely you never missed your physical!
35. Posted by francus | September 17, 2004 4:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:27
36. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Everyone thinks I'm high and I am.
36. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:27
37. Posted by francus | September 17, 2004 4:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You there! Surely you never missed your physical!
37. Posted by francus | September 17, 2004 4:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:27
38. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
It is impossible to describe to you exactly what did happen in Detroit - the emotions in the room and the feelings of the men who were reliving their experiences in Vietnam. They relived the absolute horror of what this country, in a sense, made them do. They told stories that at times they had personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Ghengis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
38. Posted by Chris W. | September 17, 2004 4:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:31
39. Posted by Jmaster | September 17, 2004 4:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(in mid slap to the forehead, after drinking the kool aid)
“Wow! I could have had a V-8!”
39. Posted by Jmaster | September 17, 2004 4:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:36
40. Posted by Matt | September 17, 2004 4:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake -- whoops, wrong speech... My bad."
40. Posted by Matt | September 17, 2004 4:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:37
41. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 17, 2004 4:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
God, I loath the military
41. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 17, 2004 4:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:38
42. Posted by Matt | September 17, 2004 4:41 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bueller? Bueller?
42. Posted by Matt | September 17, 2004 4:41 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:41
43. Posted by Just a John | September 17, 2004 4:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
...and it was with this very hand that I stink-palmed Howard Dean.
43. Posted by Just a John | September 17, 2004 4:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:48
44. Posted by JRC0439 | September 17, 2004 4:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If you will turn your attention to the back of the room, you will see my campaign staff, drunk on the Kool-Aid of stolen elections, sneaking out the backdoor in hopes of missing this most disappointing speech I am about to make….Let’s give them a big hand!
44. Posted by JRC0439 | September 17, 2004 4:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:50
45. Posted by SJDoss | September 17, 2004 4:52 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"The Democratic Party should not become a constable of public opinion, but must dominate it. It must not become a servant of the masses, but their master!"
*paraphrased quote from a. hitler
45. Posted by SJDoss | September 17, 2004 4:52 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:52
46. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
... and I would like to welcome our special guest today, General Vo Nguyen Giap.... please give him a round of applause
46. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:54 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:54
47. Posted by Larry | September 17, 2004 4:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Sure... A couple more bottles of that '88 Vouray would be great."
47. Posted by Larry | September 17, 2004 4:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:55
48. Posted by Dave Diamond | September 17, 2004 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
from my cold dead hands!!
48. Posted by Dave Diamond | September 17, 2004 4:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:57
49. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
do they know how hard it is to keep a stone face and NOT yell at them like Howard Dean??
49. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 4:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 16:57
50. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 5:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
oO(wonders if that AP guy over there got the check Cahill sent over yesterday. He'd better say these unimportant people applauded me......)
50. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 5:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:01
51. Posted by OhioanForBush | September 17, 2004 5:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Having melted away in the polls, Kerry campaign workers find a quick stand-in from Madame Tussaud.
51. Posted by OhioanForBush | September 17, 2004 5:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:04
52. Posted by dudemasicus | September 17, 2004 5:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
From the 2004 New Year's Eve Whitehouse party...
"No, after you Mr. President."
52. Posted by dudemasicus | September 17, 2004 5:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:04
53. Posted by dudemasicus | September 17, 2004 5:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Let's hear it for my wife, Teresa, who has promised to loan me my balls back for tonight's speech.
53. Posted by dudemasicus | September 17, 2004 5:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:10
54. Posted by OhianForBush | September 17, 2004 5:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
In a moment of honesty, Kerry likened his reception to the sound of one hand clapping.
54. Posted by OhianForBush | September 17, 2004 5:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:10
55. Posted by Mark | September 17, 2004 5:15 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yes, I'm tell you it's the right wing conspiracy. You know were I stand.
55. Posted by Mark | September 17, 2004 5:15 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:15
56. Posted by Rulen | September 17, 2004 5:30 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
All those who went to Cambodia with me, please stand up
56. Posted by Rulen | September 17, 2004 5:30 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:30
57. Posted by Rulen | September 17, 2004 5:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
All those who went to Cambodia with me, please stand up
57. Posted by Rulen | September 17, 2004 5:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:31
58. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 17, 2004 5:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"All you have to fear ... is me."
58. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 17, 2004 5:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:37
59. Posted by DANEgerus | September 17, 2004 5:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thirty years ago, when I served in Vietnam, this nation had a great moment of conscience...
... only 50 percent of National Guardsmen are finishing high school and only 18 percent are graduating college...
... millions of National Guardsmen went without healthcare coverage...
The president, who turns away from National Guardsmen needs…who scorns economic justice and affirmative action…who traffics in the politics of division – and then claims he is a friend of National Guardsmen can not conceal his identity no matter what clothes he wears...
As President I will send an ambassador to the National Guards and build a new “Community of the Militaries”...
/snip /snip /snip
or Senior citizens or
Hispanics or Blacks
59. Posted by DANEgerus | September 17, 2004 5:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:38
60. Posted by Justabranch | September 17, 2004 5:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So, the frog says to the farmer...Oh no, wait that's not right...So, the frog says to the priest...No, no, no, it wasn't a frog...hello? Is this thing on?...Oh, okay...So, the leprechaun says to the farmer...
60. Posted by Justabranch | September 17, 2004 5:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:42
61. Posted by Timmer | September 17, 2004 5:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This...this is my right hand...and it has no idea what my left hand is doing.
61. Posted by Timmer | September 17, 2004 5:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:46
62. Posted by Dave D | September 17, 2004 5:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And I would like to thank Dr. Herbert West, without whose reagent I would not be here today."
62. Posted by Dave D | September 17, 2004 5:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:47
63. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 5:48 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
REVISION TO ABOVE POST (realized I left something out! My bad.)
To delegates - These aren't the Kerry Naval records you're looking for.
Delegates - These aren't the Kerry Naval records we're looking for.
63. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 5:48 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:48
64. Posted by Jmaster | September 17, 2004 5:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Lets see here....
PLACE: LAS VEGAS
AUDIENCE: NATIONAL GUARD
POINTS: BUSH BAD, BUSH LIED,KERRY GOOD, KERRY SOLDIER
Damn! The notes Terayza wrote on my hand are starting to smear! I’m going to have to wing it…..
64. Posted by Jmaster | September 17, 2004 5:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:50
65. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 5:53 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
AP - Las Vegas:
Here John Kerry is shown giving thunderous applause to the men and women of the National Guard convention today.
65. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 5:53 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 17:53
66. Posted by tony | September 17, 2004 6:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And by simply tucking in the ring finger of my right hand - just a little bit - I am prepared to give 'the shocker' to anyone who steps in my way."
66. Posted by tony | September 17, 2004 6:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:00
67. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:09 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What my undisclosed Naval medical records say is tha they had to re-attach my right forearm onto my shoulder. It was a bag of BROWN rice...... not white.
(quote courtesy of Al Sharpton....)
67. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:09 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:09
68. Posted by keaukina | September 17, 2004 6:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
...and so this is how Halliburton has used its secret weather-making technology, which President Bush and Vice-President Cheney have concealed from the American people, to create an unusually high number of destructive hurricanes, in order to distract from my impressive record of service in Viet Nam, to drench and flood out my message, to wipe the state of Florida off the map, and steal this election in order that...
68. Posted by keaukina | September 17, 2004 6:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:12
69. Posted by htom | September 17, 2004 6:19 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hmmm, this is going well; they're not throwing things at me yet.
69. Posted by htom | September 17, 2004 6:19 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:19
70. Posted by Patrick | September 17, 2004 6:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Excerpt from John Kerry addressing a National Guard organization: "Last November during his secret deceitful Thanksgiving trip to the Sunni Triangle, George Bush cut off ears, burned villages, and performed actions upon the people of Iraq most closely associated with Jenjis Kahn. This November, if you elect me, I'll show you how it's REALLY done."
70. Posted by Patrick | September 17, 2004 6:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:20
71. Posted by Cowboy Blob | September 17, 2004 6:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the Army Reserve. I'm proud to be here in Phoenix at your convention. I was in the Navy Reserves as a young man, even in Paris where I fought to end the war on a secret mission. I used strong nuance and innuendo to cow the North Vietnamese into delaying their timetable for overrunning Saigon. Made a coupla business contacts for my cousin, but that's another story....
71. Posted by Cowboy Blob | September 17, 2004 6:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:22
72. Posted by Clay | September 17, 2004 6:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
This? This is a hand. Although it appears to be attached to my body, I can assure you, it is not my hand. Although it's true that this is a hand, it most certainly is not my hand.
72. Posted by Clay | September 17, 2004 6:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:27
73. Posted by D Carter | September 17, 2004 6:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Wow! I've never seen a butt-cheek ovation before.
73. Posted by D Carter | September 17, 2004 6:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:28
74. Posted by D Carter | September 17, 2004 6:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, you guessed wrong; my Iraq policy is hidden in my OTHER hand!
74. Posted by D Carter | September 17, 2004 6:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:31
75. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
So this is my salute to you, reporting for duty!
What's cool about this, as I've shown my friends at the democratic underground, is that when I turn my palm downward, it becomes an entirely new salute to you wonder people of the National Guard.
75. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:43
76. Posted by K | September 17, 2004 6:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I would like to introduce to my right:
My Band of Brothers...
My Band of Document Forgers.....
My Band of Spin Doctors....
My Band of Network Anchors....
My Band of Newspaper Editors......
My Band of CNN Hosts......
My Band of Air National Guard Investigators.....
My Band of Iraq Policy Jugglers....
My Band of Ex-Clinton cabinet members....
cough...cough..dictators)...
My Band of Cambodia friends…..
My Band of Magic Hat club members……
76. Posted by K | September 17, 2004 6:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:46
77. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Will someone please tear up that little girls Bush/Cheney sign already??
77. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:46
78. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And, here is photo of Lovey and me on one of our yachts... and this one at our mansion in Sun Valley.... really quite elegant I might add.
Now, you were saying about that uncomfortable cot at the VA hospital?
78. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 6:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:49
79. Posted by Havoc | September 17, 2004 6:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And if you thought I called you babykillers and war criminals before --
Just wait till I'm President
79. Posted by Havoc | September 17, 2004 6:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 18:50
80. Posted by K | September 17, 2004 7:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
sorry repost (fat finger)
I would like to introduce to my right:
My Band of Brothers...
My Band of Document Forgers.....
My Band of Spin Doctors....
My Band of Network Anchors....
My Band of Newspaper Editors......
My Band of CNN Hosts......
My Band of Air National Guard Investigators.....
My Band of Iraq Policy Jugglers....
My Band of Ex-Clinton cabinet members....
My Band of Foreign Leader Supporters
cough...cough..Dictators)...
My Band of Cambodia friends…..
My Band of Magic Hat club members……
My Band campaign workers…
My Band of Ex-Kennedy campaign workers..
My Band ex-Clinton campaign workers…
My Band of Botox suppliers...
And last but not least
My Band of TUH-RAY-ZUH handlers….
80. Posted by K | September 17, 2004 7:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:04
81. Posted by Rob | September 17, 2004 7:07 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Behold, the power of cheese.
81. Posted by Rob | September 17, 2004 7:07 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:07
82. Posted by john | September 17, 2004 7:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Bow before my greatness and behold the glory that is me (you fucking peons in pajamas)
82. Posted by john | September 17, 2004 7:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:26
83. Posted by Stephen Macklin | September 17, 2004 7:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"John Edwards, You look marvelous."
83. Posted by Stephen Macklin | September 17, 2004 7:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:28
84. Posted by Andy | September 17, 2004 7:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Marvin, where's my peanut butter?
For those of you who don't know about Marvin:
Marvin Nicholson Jr., Chief of Stuff
"I can't help with policy, I don't do press," said Nicholson, 32, a former bartender and caddie who never voted before meeting Kerry in 1998. "When he wants that peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'm ready."
So Nicholson crisscrosses the country with a loaf of bread in his bag. He makes most of the sandwiches himself, sometimes supplementing them with room service.
84. Posted by Andy | September 17, 2004 7:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:44
85. Posted by Kerry | September 17, 2004 7:50 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, No idiot...I threw my medals with my left hand and the ribbons with my right....
85. Posted by Kerry | September 17, 2004 7:50 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:50
86. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 7:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
John Kerry, cast as Herman Munster, motions to the crowd at the press conference announcing the remaking of the 1960's television show 'The Munsters'.
86. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 7:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:57
87. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 7:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and so when it comes time for me to tell America what I plan to do as President, I will make this nuanced shrugging gesture, which did amazingly well with the focus groups..."
87. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 7:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:58
88. Posted by Andy | September 17, 2004 7:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I can't believe I actually shook hands with these peons. Quick, where's the Purell?
88. Posted by Andy | September 17, 2004 7:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:58
89. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 7:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Anyone here who knows who I am, please raise your hand. Yes, you in the National Guard uniform?"
89. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 7:59 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 19:59
90. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 8:00 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Anyone here who knows who I am, please raise your hand. Yes, you in the National Guard uniform?"
90. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 8:00 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:00
91. Posted by keaukina | September 17, 2004 8:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You National Guard guys look like you have as much energy as a bunch of bananas. That's just WRONG..."
91. Posted by keaukina | September 17, 2004 8:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:02
92. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 8:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Now look my wife did say they should run around naked after the hurricane, but don't your spouses get freaky from time to time?
92. Posted by OneDrummer | September 17, 2004 8:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:02
93. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 8:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
* "I actually voted for the memos, before I voted against them."
* "And now, I'd like for you all to give a round of applause to my Secret Service detail, except for the son of a bitch who knocked me down of course."
* "And in the debates, I'm going to bitchslap George W. Bush just like this. He'll never see it coming."
93. Posted by McGehee | September 17, 2004 8:04 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:04
94. Posted by LEMadison | September 17, 2004 8:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"See this hand? See the little white spot there, on my thumb? Yeah, that's a war wound. I hear Bush hasn't got any of these..."
94. Posted by LEMadison | September 17, 2004 8:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:21
95. Posted by -S- | September 17, 2004 8:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"And I promise you this: when I am elected President, the National Guard will be proud to be known as the 'People's Marchers' and all this senseless, spinning and misleading information about "guards" and even "national" will be a thing of the past."
95. Posted by -S- | September 17, 2004 8:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:40
96. Posted by stan25 | September 17, 2004 8:43 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
How about a small donation, $1million would be nice.
96. Posted by stan25 | September 17, 2004 8:43 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 20:43
97. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 17, 2004 9:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I actually supported the Guard... before I called you a bunch of draft-dodging pussies.
97. Posted by Stephen W. Stanton | September 17, 2004 9:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:12
98. Posted by boifromtroy | September 17, 2004 9:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I will never make any judgments about any choice you people make about avoiding the draft, about going to Canada, going to jail, being a conscientious objector, going into the National Guard. Those are choices you make."
[LINK]
98. Posted by boifromtroy | September 17, 2004 9:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:29
99. Posted by Rich | September 17, 2004 9:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Which hand do I wipe myself with?" "Well I used this one before I started using the oth...OK OK you got me.It's that old joke isn't it?"."Yes I DO use toilet paper!"
99. Posted by Rich | September 17, 2004 9:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:38
100. Posted by TJP | September 17, 2004 9:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kenneth, what IS the frequency?
100. Posted by TJP | September 17, 2004 9:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:42
101. Posted by TJP | September 17, 2004 9:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Teresa! Can I please have my allowance now?
101. Posted by TJP | September 17, 2004 9:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:44
102. Posted by TJP | September 17, 2004 9:46 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You can fool some of the people all of the time.
You can fool all of the peopple some of the time,
but how do you fool those damn swiftees?
102. Posted by TJP | September 17, 2004 9:46 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:46
103. Posted by billy | September 17, 2004 9:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ladies and Gentlemen, MY...NAKED...WIFE!!!
103. Posted by billy | September 17, 2004 9:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 21:56
104. Posted by The WASP | September 17, 2004 10:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
inner thoughts " shit this is the national guard and i have been trashing them as wussy's that their daddy's got them into to avoid real combat like I went to , I wonder if they know I was in Viet Nam.. Damn it I going to fire the guy who set this speech up, beacuse later today I have to call Bush a sissy draft dodger because of those stupid swift boat guys... I hope Theresa isn't talking to the media... wish I was windsurfing"
104. Posted by The WASP | September 17, 2004 10:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 22:05
105. Posted by Rich | September 17, 2004 10:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Sure I have a campaign song" "Listen up".
"You put your right hand in,you put your right hand out,you do the flippy floppy and you shake it all arouund,that's what it's all about!"
105. Posted by Rich | September 17, 2004 10:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 22:11
106. Posted by Darby | September 17, 2004 10:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ladies and gentlemen, I come to give to you with this hand. Unfortunately, tommorrow I will have to take from you with the other.
106. Posted by Darby | September 17, 2004 10:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 22:20
107. Posted by Dean Satterlee | September 17, 2004 10:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm the wrong candidate, in the wrong place at the wrong time!
107. Posted by Dean Satterlee | September 17, 2004 10:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 22:20
108. Posted by Swede | September 17, 2004 10:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"... and so there I was, downtown Phnom Penh, with a butt full of rice and nothing but my magic hat between me and a hundred of Pol Pot's finest".
108. Posted by Swede | September 17, 2004 10:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 22:29
109. Posted by kev | September 17, 2004 11:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You rang?
109. Posted by kev | September 17, 2004 11:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 23:20
110. Posted by Jim Price | September 17, 2004 11:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Not Shown: John Edwards moving in from the front for yet another televised embrace.
110. Posted by Jim Price | September 17, 2004 11:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 17, 2004 23:47
111. Posted by docweasel | September 18, 2004 12:24 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"When you are married to a woman like Tarayza, your right hand is your best friend. I've named mine Charlene."
111. Posted by docweasel | September 18, 2004 12:24 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 00:24
112. Posted by Nick | September 18, 2004 12:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Vice President got 5 deferments and I served two tours of duty in Vietnam after my 5th deferment was refused. I guess he had a more reasonable request than I did on that last one. Oh! Did I say that? What I meant to say is, I honor your service in the National Guard, unless, of course, you served during Vietnam like the President did.
112. Posted by Nick | September 18, 2004 12:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 00:31
113. Posted by Steve | September 18, 2004 12:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"My staff says I need to show the smooth and suave side. Okay, here goes."
"Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto, Domo ... Domo ..."
113. Posted by Steve | September 18, 2004 12:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 00:37
114. Posted by Allen | September 18, 2004 12:57 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
On the one hand, you have people like me who volunteered honorably for active duty service....
114. Posted by Allen | September 18, 2004 12:57 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 00:57
115. Posted by Eric Pobirs | September 18, 2004 2:27 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Although he has no hope of winning, Agent Kerry attempts to taunt George 'Neo' Bush into yet another battle.
115. Posted by Eric Pobirs | September 18, 2004 2:27 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 02:27
116. Posted by Nathan | September 18, 2004 3:12 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"It's called an applause break. Now lets see that standing ovation...."
116. Posted by Nathan | September 18, 2004 3:12 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 03:12
117. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 3:45 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I just want to thank Col. Staudt for his support and help with my career..... along with Mr. Burkett, Mr. Cleland, Ben Barnes and of course, Mr. Rather!
117. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 3:45 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 03:45
118. Posted by BarCodeKing | September 18, 2004 4:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Due to advice from Zell Miller and my wife, Teresa, you people in the National Guard will all be armed with spitballs AND naked under the Kerry adminstration. But you WILL have water and generators!
118. Posted by BarCodeKing | September 18, 2004 4:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 04:49
119. Posted by spud | September 18, 2004 4:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I voted for chicken parmigiana right after I voted for prime rib"
119. Posted by spud | September 18, 2004 4:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 04:49
120. Posted by CrzyDJM | September 18, 2004 5:37 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr Daaaaannnnn Raaaaattthhherr!!!
120. Posted by CrzyDJM | September 18, 2004 5:37 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 05:37
121. Posted by docweasel | September 18, 2004 7:05 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Go ahead, pull my finger."
121. Posted by docweasel | September 18, 2004 7:05 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 07:05
122. Posted by Spirit Fingers | September 18, 2004 7:26 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ready please, Mr Music!
Go west, life is peaceful there....go west, this and more we'll do....go west...(repeat and fade)
122. Posted by Spirit Fingers | September 18, 2004 7:26 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 07:26
123. Posted by Andy | September 18, 2004 7:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Now only this side, nice and loud,
"Dan lied,
His ratings died"
123. Posted by Andy | September 18, 2004 7:55 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 07:55
124. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 9:58 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"How did I get Dan Rather to do it? I just said come here Dan I want the introduce you to Ken, he has the frequency."
124. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 9:58 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 09:58
125. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 9:59 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You can fool some of the people some of the time, and
you can jerk the rest off.
125. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 9:59 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 09:59
126. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 10:00 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You can fool some of the people some of the time, and
you can jerk the rest off.
126. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 10:00 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 10:00
127. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"I just want to say one thing to the honored members of our Armed Services, here, tonight, ... Semper Fi."
127. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 10:02 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 10:02
128. Posted by Larry | September 18, 2004 10:43 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"No, my eyes are not blood shot. It's just a reflection from the states' map to my right...its looking redder all the time."
128. Posted by Larry | September 18, 2004 10:43 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 10:43
129. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 12:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Of course Bob Dole would ask me to pull the latest MoveOn ad; my right arm was not injured in battle - see?
129. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 12:37 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 12:37
130. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 1:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Unfortunately, in an ill-fated attempt to win more votes and to be seen as 'one of the guys', John started to field every question that came to him. "Yes, this is my dick hand."
130. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 18, 2004 1:14 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 13:14
131. Posted by Dr. Digits | September 18, 2004 1:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
What is the sound of one hand undecided?
131. Posted by Dr. Digits | September 18, 2004 1:25 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 13:25
132. Posted by Rick Holte | September 18, 2004 1:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My fellow Americans, I say to you, "Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by attacking back". When I am President I promise to be the biggest problem this country has ever seen. So when Al Queda attacks us again I will attack back with more worth than.... (who the hell wrote this... Fucking Carville). Let me begin again! My fellow Americans....
132. Posted by Rick Holte | September 18, 2004 1:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 13:33
133. Posted by BR | September 18, 2004 1:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh my gosh, I needed that laugh - (this is not my entry) - I'm just applauding the "sound of one hand undecided" above.
133. Posted by BR | September 18, 2004 1:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 13:34
134. Posted by BR | September 18, 2004 1:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Oh my gosh, I needed that laugh! (This is not an entry, I'm just applauding the "sound of one hand undecided" above.)
134. Posted by BR | September 18, 2004 1:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 13:36
135. Posted by Spirit Fingers | September 18, 2004 2:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Thank you, thank you I'll be here all week. Try the fish, I heard it's very good. Almost as good as the dover sole I'm used to dining on. And don't forget to tip your waitress! She'll need it more than over once my economic policies are put in place.
135. Posted by Spirit Fingers | September 18, 2004 2:01 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 14:01
136. Posted by ter0 | September 18, 2004 2:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cue John Kerry speech voice:
The logo of the National Guard Associaton bears the Motto "We Serve," which while on the one hand was technically true in your case, was actually not true for my opponent.
136. Posted by ter0 | September 18, 2004 2:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 14:34
137. Posted by Dan | September 18, 2004 2:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Where the hell's everyone going? I haven't even started my speech?
137. Posted by Dan | September 18, 2004 2:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 14:35
138. Posted by RedFalcon | September 18, 2004 3:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you.......My Ego!
138. Posted by RedFalcon | September 18, 2004 3:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 15:02
139. Posted by bummer | September 18, 2004 3:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Does anyone have any spare memo letterhead?
139. Posted by bummer | September 18, 2004 3:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 15:29
140. Posted by bummer | September 18, 2004 3:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If I am elected,
I promise to be a more sensitive sympathizer,
of Al Quaeda,
and to prove it,
I promise,
that I,
will never wipe,
with right hand,
ever again!
140. Posted by bummer | September 18, 2004 3:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 15:44
141. Posted by r.g.w. | September 18, 2004 5:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And this is the hand that I shook hangs with the Viet Cong with, during war mind you...and this is the hand I will use to greet all of America's enemies with...and welcome Sean Penn to the White House with...and this is the hand with which I will sign over Americs's right to defend itself to the UN with...and with which I will order Saddam Hussein's release...so lets all stand up an applaud my hand, you cowards, behold my hand, worship and praise my glorious hand..haha, muahaha, MUAHAHAHA!!
141. Posted by r.g.w. | September 18, 2004 5:29 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 17:29
142. Posted by McGehee | September 18, 2004 5:38 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...and for those of you who don't agree with what I stand for, I invite you to talk to..."
142. Posted by McGehee | September 18, 2004 5:38 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 17:38
143. Posted by r.g.w | September 18, 2004 5:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
And this is the hand that I shook hands with the Viet Cong with, during war mind you...and this is the hand I will use to greet all of America's enemies with...and welcome Sean Penn to the White House with...and this is the hand with which I will sign over Americs's right to defend itself to the UN with...and with which I will order Saddam Hussein's release...so lets all stand up an applaud my hand, you cowards, behold my hand, worship and praise my glorious hand..haha, muahaha, MUAHAHAHA!!
143. Posted by r.g.w | September 18, 2004 5:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 17:49
144. Posted by Colonel Angus | September 18, 2004 6:32 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
OK, you take the back part of your hand, and in a sharp sweeping motion, you "chop" downward on the carotid.....there isn't a 3 year old in America that can keep their sweaty little palms on one of Dubya's signs when their brain shortwires, screaming for oxygen.
144. Posted by Colonel Angus | September 18, 2004 6:32 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 18:32
145. Posted by The WASP | September 18, 2004 8:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
count them 5 different positions on the Iraq war, that's how many I have had..
145. Posted by The WASP | September 18, 2004 8:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 20:26
146. Posted by The WASP | September 18, 2004 8:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I can you too how to marry a billionare in just five easy steps, all you have to do is vote for me and I'll send you a video at no cost or obligation...
146. Posted by The WASP | September 18, 2004 8:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 20:27
147. Posted by bummer | September 18, 2004 8:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Does anybody here know where I can find a good Campaign Advisor?
147. Posted by bummer | September 18, 2004 8:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 20:39
148. Posted by Branna | September 18, 2004 8:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
(As kerry blows a kiss to himself in the camera)
Vote for ME! I'm so wonderful & I'm not Bush!
148. Posted by Branna | September 18, 2004 8:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 20:45
149. Posted by hobgoblin | September 18, 2004 9:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Klaatu barada nikto"
149. Posted by hobgoblin | September 18, 2004 9:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 21:06
150. Posted by JD | September 18, 2004 9:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You put your right hand in, you put your right hand out..."
150. Posted by JD | September 18, 2004 9:35 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 21:35
151. Posted by JD | September 18, 2004 9:39 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Or....
"I'm a little teapot, short and stout..."
151. Posted by JD | September 18, 2004 9:39 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 21:39
152. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 10:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Why thank you. It IS great to be the smugest, richest man in this room (even if I didn't earn a penny of it. Now THAT'S the democratic way.....)
152. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 10:20 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 22:20
153. Posted by KCTrio | September 18, 2004 11:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
At the end of his closing statement of the first debate, Mr. John Forbes Kerry says:
"Mr. Bush, I knew Jack Kennedy. Jack Kennedy was a friend of mine. but I can tell you one thing, Mr. President, after having inserting this hand up your behind and having smelled it, you're no Jack Kennedy. And I can assure you, Mr. President, I know what Jack Kennedy's bum smelled like. The sweet aroma has been seared, seared into my memory."
153. Posted by KCTrio | September 18, 2004 11:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 23:03
154. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 11:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You there. Yes, you there standing with your back to me in the 3rd row. I applaud you!
I've been waiting 33 years to put the knife in your back a 2nd time. Thank you for this grand opportunity!
154. Posted by OneDrummer | September 18, 2004 11:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 18, 2004 23:51
155. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | September 19, 2004 2:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Spare a handout for the next ex-husband of Teresa?
155. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | September 19, 2004 2:52 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 02:52
156. Posted by Jeff | September 19, 2004 7:49 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My friends, Cambodia was right here. I was that close and that is the truth. It was Christmas or was it in January or was it…
156. Posted by Jeff | September 19, 2004 7:49 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 07:49
157. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 19, 2004 9:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I can't get this smell off my hands.
157. Posted by Jeff Blogworthy | September 19, 2004 9:28 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 09:28
158. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 19, 2004 12:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
DrDigits,
Shouldn't that be:
What is the sound of one hand flip-flopping?
158. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 19, 2004 12:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 12:22
159. Posted by Rodneyt Dill | September 19, 2004 12:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"OK, Simon Says. Raise our right hand... Bob Dole, your out again"
(whispered) "Get's 'im everytime."
159. Posted by Rodneyt Dill | September 19, 2004 12:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 12:26
160. Posted by just_4_kicks | September 19, 2004 3:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Dan Rather reporting here at John Kerry's speech to a group of veterans. Mr. Kerry has raised his hand and the crown has hushed in silence. Everyone is eager to hear him speak. Wait a minute, I am getting a message in my earpiece, there there has been a short circuit and fire is flying from wires located in the back of Kerry's neck. ...Ah, ladies and gentlemen, we will break away to bowling on CBS until we have an update.
A short time later Kerry's head explodes
160. Posted by just_4_kicks | September 19, 2004 3:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 15:26
161. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 19, 2004 3:57 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Why did you fools bother with the Reserves when you could have just shot and cut yourself three times to get out of Vietnam?"
161. Posted by Laurence Simon | September 19, 2004 3:57 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 15:57
162. Posted by Dave G. | September 19, 2004 8:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Take my wife...please!
162. Posted by Dave G. | September 19, 2004 8:31 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 20:31
163. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 19, 2004 9:02 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So go ahead, McAuliffe, crucify dubya, I was my hands of the whole thing, after all this is International Talk Like a Pilate Day...What's that you say...Pirate?
163. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 19, 2004 9:02 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 21:02
164. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 19, 2004 9:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So go ahead, McAuliffe, crucify dubya, I wash my hands of the whole thing, after all this is International Talk Like a Pilate Day...What's that you say...Pirate?
(dang type-o)
164. Posted by Rodney Dill | September 19, 2004 9:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 19, 2004 21:03
165. Posted by Kevin | September 20, 2004 12:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.
165. Posted by Kevin | September 20, 2004 12:25 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on September 20, 2004 00:25