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Weekend Caption Contest™

Posted by Kevin

Published: August 20, 2004 - 5:53 PM

It's Friday, that means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™.

Senator John Kerry's Vietnam War record came under attack again as a group of veterans released a new television spot denouncing anti-war views expressed by the Democratic presidential contender in 1971(AFP/Hector Mata)


Update: Winners announced. Comments are now closed.

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Comments (45)

What I supposed to say? In ... (Below threshold)

1. Posted by Stephen Macklin | August 20, 2004 6:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

What I supposed to say? In Cambodia or near Cambodia? I can't keep this shit straight anymore.

1. Posted by Stephen Macklin | August 20, 2004 6:11 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 18:11

Please God - Pretty Please,... (Below threshold)

2. Posted by Larry Morin | August 20, 2004 6:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Larry Morin:

Please God - Pretty Please, with cherries on top - Don't let them publish my Senate voting record.


If the American People find out that they have been paying me to not do my job for 19 years, they'll never agree to pay me to not do the Presidents job.

2. Posted by Larry Morin | August 20, 2004 6:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 18:23

(Slow sound of choppers ove... (Below threshold)

3. Posted by Frank Martin | August 20, 2004 6:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Frank Martin:

(Slow sound of choppers overhead....)

This is The End......
Of our enchanted land - The End
Beautiful friend - The End
Can you picture what will be
All Innocent and free.....

3. Posted by Frank Martin | August 20, 2004 6:26 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 18:26

Kerry: Up to his nose in hi... (Below threshold)

4. Posted by daniel | August 20, 2004 6:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
daniel:

Kerry: Up to his nose in his own filthy lies!

4. Posted by daniel | August 20, 2004 6:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 18:37

Humming Ring of Fire by Joh... (Below threshold)

5. Posted by Dittybopper | August 20, 2004 6:54 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Dittybopper:

Humming Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash

I stepped into a buring ring of fire
I went down down down
and the flames went higher

5. Posted by Dittybopper | August 20, 2004 6:54 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 18:54

"Dear God, I hope that they... (Below threshold)

6. Posted by Laurence Simon | August 20, 2004 7:01 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Laurence Simon:

"Dear God, I hope that they don't discover that it was Pizza Huts I burned down in "Nam."

6. Posted by Laurence Simon | August 20, 2004 7:01 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:01

"swordfish"... (Below threshold)

7. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 20, 2004 7:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"swordfish"

7. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 20, 2004 7:03 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:03

(Editorial note: You need t... (Below threshold)

8. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 20, 2004 7:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

(Editorial note: You need the Amanda Beard picture, above, left justified to fint with the caption contest)

8. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 20, 2004 7:06 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:06

or to "fit"... (Below threshold)

9. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 20, 2004 7:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

or to "fit"

9. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 20, 2004 7:06 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:06

Kerry: Only God can save me... (Below threshold)

10. Posted by Alex | August 20, 2004 7:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Alex:

Kerry: Only God can save me now...but I'm a Democrat. Can't use Him.

10. Posted by Alex | August 20, 2004 7:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:20

John hums the Kerry-Edwards... (Below threshold)

11. Posted by Kathleen | August 20, 2004 7:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kathleen:

John hums the Kerry-Edwards Theme song to make himself feel better:

The Times'll come out tomorrow
Bet Teresa's dollars that tomorrow, I'll be cleared
And when the Times says, tomorrow,
that the Swift Boat Vets are lying traitors, I'll be cheered!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, the media, tomorrow,
Will take all my cares away.

11. Posted by Kathleen | August 20, 2004 7:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:21

God Damn! My hair is so fu... (Below threshold)

12. Posted by Chris Short | August 20, 2004 7:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Chris Short:

God Damn! My hair is so fucking hot right now.

12. Posted by Chris Short | August 20, 2004 7:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:25

KERRY FILES FEC COMPLAINT O... (Below threshold)

13. Posted by daniel | August 20, 2004 7:35 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
daniel:

KERRY FILES FEC COMPLAINT OVER SWIFT BOAT ADS

13. Posted by daniel | August 20, 2004 7:35 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 19:35

"John Kerry: For nose rings... (Below threshold)

14. Posted by Beck | August 20, 2004 8:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Beck:

"John Kerry: For nose rings before he was against them."

alternate:

"Up in the sky! It's a bird... it's a plane... it's... Nuance Man!"

14. Posted by Beck | August 20, 2004 8:18 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 20:18

"He's back."... (Below threshold)

15. Posted by The Lonewacko Blog | August 20, 2004 9:04 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
The Lonewacko Blog:

"He's back."

15. Posted by The Lonewacko Blog | August 20, 2004 9:04 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 21:04

I wish I were an Oscar Maye... (Below threshold)

16. Posted by shortfuse | August 20, 2004 9:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
shortfuse:

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, that's is all I really want to be. For if I were an Oscar Mayer weiner, everyone would be in love with me!

16. Posted by shortfuse | August 20, 2004 9:12 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 21:12

Is someone touching my ass?... (Below threshold)

17. Posted by Zeitgeist | August 20, 2004 9:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Zeitgeist:

Is someone touching my ass? Please let it be John Edwards...

well it was either that or 'If it feels like more than two fingers, it's probably a d*ck'.

17. Posted by Zeitgeist | August 20, 2004 9:34 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 21:34

Image? Obviously, I missed... (Below threshold)

18. Posted by -S- | August 20, 2004 10:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
-S-:

Image? Obviously, I missed whatever was here earlier.

Unless, of course, the point of captioning tonight is to caption a blank space.

So, alright, captioning a blank space about Kerry:

"Reporting for duty."

18. Posted by -S- | August 20, 2004 10:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 22:29

Who's there? What's that s... (Below threshold)

19. Posted by Timmer | August 20, 2004 10:37 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Timmer:

Who's there? What's that sound? Is that Karl Rove and the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy? Is that who's up there? Wait...no...I can explain...I didn't really plan on winning...it was all a joke...don't...STOP, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S HOLY...STOP! BILL?! WHERE ARE YOU? I KNOW YOU'RE HERE! DON'T LET HER....

(two silenced gunshots)

HILLARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY you....(gasping whisper) bee-ah-tch.

19. Posted by Timmer | August 20, 2004 10:37 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 22:37

The HORROR....the HORROR...... (Below threshold)

20. Posted by f mastro | August 20, 2004 11:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
f mastro:

The HORROR....the HORROR.....

20. Posted by f mastro | August 20, 2004 11:49 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 20, 2004 23:49

must... have... botox injec... (Below threshold)

21. Posted by PETERRR | August 21, 2004 12:25 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
PETERRR:

must... have... botox injection

21. Posted by PETERRR | August 21, 2004 12:25 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 00:25

"Meow meow meow meow, meow ... (Below threshold)

22. Posted by Kot Begemot | August 21, 2004 1:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kot Begemot:

"Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow..."

22. Posted by Kot Begemot | August 21, 2004 1:31 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 01:31

"No no no... his eyes aren'... (Below threshold)

23. Posted by Jason | August 21, 2004 2:32 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Jason:

"No no no... his eyes aren't tracking right. Nobody's going to believe he's human. We had the same problem with the Gorebot. I need an Allen wrench and some WD-40..."

23. Posted by Jason | August 21, 2004 2:32 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 02:32

"What's that God? I know, ... (Below threshold)

24. Posted by Rick Holte | August 21, 2004 8:52 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rick Holte:

"What's that God? I know, I know... but, just eighty more day's, then I'll start telling the truth.... you'll see!"

24. Posted by Rick Holte | August 21, 2004 8:52 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 08:52

Note to self - This is what... (Below threshold)

25. Posted by SarahW | August 21, 2004 10:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SarahW:

Note to self - This is what happens when you shoot your mouth off about Vietnam.

25. Posted by SarahW | August 21, 2004 10:02 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 10:02

"When I'm President, I'll h... (Below threshold)

26. Posted by McGehee | August 21, 2004 10:28 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
McGehee:

"When I'm President, I'll have them jackhammer the beard off Lincoln, and voila! I'm on Mount Rushmore!"

"And this is how I looked when I was sneaking through the swamp there in Cambodia looking for Col. Kurtz. I had great hair even then."

"Decisions, decisions. Vichyssoise or bouillabaise? I wonder what the little people eat on their coffee breaks?"

26. Posted by McGehee | August 21, 2004 10:28 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 10:28

"Hmmm, Just WTF is a buckey... (Below threshold)

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 12:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Hmmm, Just WTF is a buckeye, anyway?"

27. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 12:28 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 12:28

Now the botox seems liked i... (Below threshold)

28. Posted by Brian Vea | August 21, 2004 12:31 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Brian Vea:

Now the botox seems liked it worked, now my eyebrows. Do they need a little bit more reshaping? Hmmmm, and my hair, howza bout a lil henna dye? Yeah...yeahhhhhh...maybe that'll make em stop talkin bout my robot persona.

28. Posted by Brian Vea | August 21, 2004 12:31 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 12:31

So, the Vietnam thing is ra... (Below threshold)

29. Posted by SarahW | August 21, 2004 1:20 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SarahW:

So, the Vietnam thing is radioactive, this hazmat suit is messing up my hair.

Good thing the media meltdown will kill all the photographers.

29. Posted by SarahW | August 21, 2004 1:20 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 13:20

"...A wonderful day in t... (Below threshold)

30. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 2:14 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"...A wonderful day in the neigborhood, a beautiful day for a neighbor. hm hm hm, hm hm hm, won't you be my neighbor.
Oh, Hello boys and girls, welcome to my neighborhood. Today we're going to put Mr. Presidential candidate in the microwave. "
beep
"Pop goes the weasel."

30. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 2:14 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 14:14

Alien vs. John Kerry<... (Below threshold)

31. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 2:16 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

Alien vs. John Kerry
In a Microwave, no one can hear you scream.

31. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 2:16 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 14:16

The medication should kick ... (Below threshold)

32. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 2:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

The medication should kick in any time now.

(based on my last two captions that could apply to me as well as be a caption.)

32. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 2:21 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 14:21

"Whaddya mean my head's too... (Below threshold)

33. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 3:23 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"Whaddya mean my head's too big to fit on TV."

33. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 21, 2004 3:23 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 15:23

John Kerry prepares to esco... (Below threshold)

34. Posted by SarahW | August 21, 2004 3:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
SarahW:

John Kerry prepares to escort a CIA man on a secret, um, covert.... er.... clandestine mission through the ductwork of his Idahoan Ski chalet.

"I'd better hold your hat, it's a tight fit."

34. Posted by SarahW | August 21, 2004 3:36 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 15:36

Next time they tell me to l... (Below threshold)

35. Posted by Stephen Macklin | August 21, 2004 4:29 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Stephen Macklin:

Next time they tell me to look straight ahead during a Botox treatment I'm going to listen.

35. Posted by Stephen Macklin | August 21, 2004 4:29 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 16:29

This mind intentionally lef... (Below threshold)

36. Posted by spacemonkey | August 21, 2004 6:25 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
spacemonkey:

This mind intentionally left blank.

36. Posted by spacemonkey | August 21, 2004 6:25 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 18:25

Man, I really really hope n... (Below threshold)

37. Posted by tony | August 21, 2004 7:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
tony:

Man, I really really hope no one uses that dumb Photoshop trick to find out that I'm buck naked in this picture, like they did with that Cat Schwartz chick....

37. Posted by tony | August 21, 2004 7:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 19:17

...just one more injection ... (Below threshold)

38. Posted by slade | August 21, 2004 8:17 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
slade:

...just one more injection right there....

38. Posted by slade | August 21, 2004 8:17 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 20:17

"Where's a hand grenade and... (Below threshold)

39. Posted by Sharon | August 21, 2004 9:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Sharon:

"Where's a hand grenade and a stray bit of shrapnel when you need it?"

39. Posted by Sharon | August 21, 2004 9:47 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 21, 2004 21:47

THIS SPACE FOR RENT<p... (Below threshold)

40. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 9:48 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

THIS SPACE FOR RENT

(Some what inspired by spacemonkey's entry)

40. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 9:48 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 22, 2004 09:48

The Answer is: "Lower... Lo... (Below threshold)

41. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 9:51 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

The Answer is: "Lower... Lower"
And the Great Karnak says the question is:
"What does Teresa say when she sees this much of John Kerry's face"

41. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 9:51 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 22, 2004 09:51

"I'm as mad as hell, and... (Below threshold)

42. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 9:55 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!...Right Teresa?

42. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 9:55 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 22, 2004 09:55

The Great Karnak say... (Below threshold)

43. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 10:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Rodney Dill:

The Great Karnak says,
"The Answer is: Lower... Lower"
And the question is:
"What does Teresa say when she sees this much of John Kerry's face"

The previous Great Karnak was obviously some maniacal liberal shyster.

("We're never quite as dumb as when we're trying to be smart" - Linus Van Pelt)

43. Posted by Rodney Dill | August 22, 2004 10:50 AM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 22, 2004 10:50

“I put my rice-shrapnelled ... (Below threshold)

44. Posted by Nordicgirl | August 22, 2004 12:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Nordicgirl:

“I put my rice-shrapnelled ass on the line and all I got was this lousy campaign.”

44. Posted by Nordicgirl | August 22, 2004 12:40 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 22, 2004 12:40

When the President wouldn't... (Below threshold)

45. Posted by Cowboy Blob | August 22, 2004 2:59 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Cowboy Blob:

When the President wouldn't make those mean Swifties go away, John Kerry's eyes welled with tears...well, they would have if the botox would let them.

45. Posted by Cowboy Blob | August 22, 2004 2:59 PM | Vote up Vote down Report this comment Score: 0 (0 votes cast)

Posted on August 22, 2004 14:59




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