Well, just becarefull not to eat any of the Army's new food
http://john.hoke.org/archive/2004/07/army_food_taste.php

ewwww

Sorry to do this to you, Kevin, but I couldn't resist . . .

-----SATIRE WARNING-----

VIRGINIA BEACH - Kerry supporters cheered as the announcement came from Norcross, GA today that Waffle House, Inc. has become an official Kerry Sponsor. At the impromptu event held at Waffle House’s establishment in Virginia Beach, several high-profile Kerry supporters were in attendance, including former adviser Sandy Berger, who made a hasty exit when rumours began circulating that Former President Bill Clinton was scheduled to arrive with “first pet” Socks in tow. In an unusually festive mood, Kerry touted “now is the time for the real catch-up rally to begin” whilst brandishing an inordinately large bottle of Heinz. The Clinton appearance turned out to be a piece of flawed intelligence, which Kerry immediately contributed to the Republican political machine, citing the questionable timing of the information’s release. Clinton was, in fact, meeting with his attorneys as they pursued possible copyright-infringement litigation regarding the use of the “Trouser-gate” moniker in relation to the current Berger scandal.

“Sunny”, a spokesperson and senior server for Waffle House, Inc., remarked, “We couldn’t think of any better way to, like, beat Bush, you know. After all, everyone loves Waffle House, and everyone hates Bush. So it really kinda makes sense.”

During the ceremony, Kerry was presented with a custom-tailored uniform, consisting of “official” Waffle House trousers, shirt, and hat, and he was presented with a certificate and gold pin, designating him the company’s first-ever “Honorary Waffle Technician.”

In unrelated news, Sandy Berger entered into a civil suit against McDonald’s restaurants today, alleging slander and character defamation. This in response to a new advertisement in which the “Hamburgler”, a fictional character, steals several hamburgers by stuffing them into his trousers and socks. A spokesman for Berger stated, “Anyone with half a brain can see the intent of the ad is to ridicule and disgrace Mr. Bergler--I mean Berger.”

A spokesman for McDonald’s indicated that his company was cautiously optimistic that they could present their case before a federal judge that exhibited half a brain.