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It's Friday, that means it's time for the Wizbang Weekend Caption Contest™. Winners will be announced Sunday evening.
Update: Winners announced.
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Comments (43)
"You're the little bitch wh... (Below threshold)1. Posted by Mud Blood & Beer | June 25, 2004 4:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You're the little bitch who killed Curly, aren't you?"
1. Posted by Mud Blood & Beer | June 25, 2004 4:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 16:28
2. Posted by Jay Tea | June 25, 2004 4:44 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Say, Mr. Crystal, I loved you in 'When Harry Met Sally.' You don't happen to know Ms. Ryan's phone number and net worth, do you?"
J.
2. Posted by Jay Tea | June 25, 2004 4:44 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 16:44
3. Posted by Jay Tea | June 25, 2004 4:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Mr. Crystal, I want you to know that when I was serving in Viet Nam, I defecated bigger than you... and, of course, it did NOT smell."
J.
3. Posted by Jay Tea | June 25, 2004 4:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 16:45
4. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 25, 2004 4:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Hey, Billy. You look mahhhhhvelous."
"Thanks, John, but you look like Lurch."
4. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 25, 2004 4:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 16:49
5. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 25, 2004 5:05 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Billy, I've been having this reocurring dream. Night after night the same thing, I'm standing at the Pearly Gates and Simon Peter is looking for my name in the Book of Life but he can't find it. So he summons the keeper of the book and when he appears it's George Bush, could you analyze that for me?"
5. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 25, 2004 5:05 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 17:05
6. Posted by Jess | June 25, 2004 5:36 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You there -- you always draw decent enough numbers when you host the Oscars. Ever thought about running for Vice President?"
6. Posted by Jess | June 25, 2004 5:36 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 17:36
7. Posted by charles | June 25, 2004 5:56 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
pull my finger.
7. Posted by charles | June 25, 2004 5:56 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 17:56
8. Posted by TC-LeatherPenguin | June 25, 2004 6:03 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Listen buddy, Whoopie and Williams are working for me already. How big a check does Theresa have to cut to get you onboard for the Radio City show? Damnit man, I'm a Jew too, you know!
8. Posted by TC-LeatherPenguin | June 25, 2004 6:03 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 18:03
9. Posted by david | June 25, 2004 6:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I mean it, Crystal -- there will be NO MORE sequels to "City Slickers" in a Kerry administration!
9. Posted by david | June 25, 2004 6:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 18:47
10. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | June 25, 2004 7:26 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I think I have a better image for a contest this week, Kevin.
Stick a fork in "pull my finger". It's done.
And my nominations for caption are:
1) Casting for "My Giant II"
2) Miracle Max: Have fun stormin' da castle.
Kerry: Think it'll work?
Miracle Max: It would take a miracle.
3) Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your campaign here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Kerry: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through Teresa's clothes and look for loose change.
4) Kerry: Say hello to the Scream Extractor.
Billy: Uh... hello.
5) Billy: Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me.
6) Jess: Kerry is terrific.
Harry Burns: Yeah. But of course when I asked where he was when Kennedy was shot he said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
Jess: No.
7) Crystal: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Kerry: Why not?
Crystal: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that actors and politicians can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
8) Crystal: There are two kinds of politicians: high maintenance and low maintenance.
Kerry: Which one am I?
Crystal: You're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.
10. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | June 25, 2004 7:26 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 19:26
11. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | June 25, 2004 7:28 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I'm shooting to sweep all 3.
11. Posted by Aaron's Rantblog | June 25, 2004 7:28 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 19:28
12. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 7:34 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You now John you remind me of Norman."
(Aaron took the 'campaign is only mostly dead' caption I was working on right out from under me. Of course I would've done the same given the opportunity.)
12. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 7:34 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 19:34
13. Posted by Brian J. | June 25, 2004 8:42 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You know, I have a flower-shaped zipper pull that would go really well with that tie.
13. Posted by Brian J. | June 25, 2004 8:42 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 20:42
14. Posted by McGehee | June 25, 2004 8:45 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"You think you're funny, little man? You're not funny. I'm funny. I'm f**king hilarious. I get people rolling in the aisles whenever I speak. You don't believe me, check out this line -- gets 'em going every time.
"(Ahem.)
"Hello everyone, I'm John Kerry, the next President of the United States.
"Listen to them howl. You ain't never made a room laugh like that."
14. Posted by McGehee | June 25, 2004 8:45 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 20:45
15. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 25, 2004 9:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Hey listen, have you ever played a foreign leader?
15. Posted by Stephen Macklin | June 25, 2004 9:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:27
16. Posted by Jay Tea | June 25, 2004 9:40 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Aaron, take my word for it. If I didn't score a clean sweep for this contest, you don't have a prayer.
J.
16. Posted by Jay Tea | June 25, 2004 9:40 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:40
17. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"C'mon John, you know that fake orgasm did wonders for Meg's career, you should try it too, trust me."
17. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:47
18. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:49 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Day ain't over yet, funny man"
(works for a caption, works for Aaron)
18. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:49 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:49
19. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:51 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"So let me get this straight, I forget the Mr. Ed and Gomer Pyle remakes, and you're out the City Slickers sequels and you're off the Academy awards."
19. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:51 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:51
20. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Okay Billy you were marvelous with all that make-up on as Miracle Max, Now I have a serious proposition for you. I need a slightly more sober Teddy Kennedy to give the opening speach for the Democratic National Conventions. Are you up to the part?"
20. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 9:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:58
21. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 25, 2004 9:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Did you know that you have toilet tissue stuck to your shoe?
21. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 25, 2004 9:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 21:58
22. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 25, 2004 10:10 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You've got one minute to write that check or you'll have to deal with my associates here. You got that!
22. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 25, 2004 10:10 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 22:10
23. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 10:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"No, first I thought Robin Williams was funnier, right before I thought you were funnier."
23. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 25, 2004 10:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 22:21
24. Posted by charles | June 25, 2004 10:47 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
'pull my finger' is an inside joke just for jay tea and rodney.
24. Posted by charles | June 25, 2004 10:47 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 22:47
25. Posted by -S- | June 25, 2004 11:21 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"YOU get to write my Concession Speech!"
25. Posted by -S- | June 25, 2004 11:21 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 23:21
26. Posted by eric | June 25, 2004 11:22 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Look, Ensign, Charlie's out there, now I told you to get on that 50!
26. Posted by eric | June 25, 2004 11:22 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 25, 2004 23:22
27. Posted by Timmer | June 26, 2004 1:02 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
No, seriously, shut up! Do you know who I am? Good, now as I was saying...I loved you as Jodie on Soap and I was wondering if you might like to reprise that role...you know...privately...a command performance as it were.
27. Posted by Timmer | June 26, 2004 1:02 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 01:02
28. Posted by McGehee | June 26, 2004 9:19 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Senator, I already told you I'm voting for Bush. Now, either go away or I'm gonna go Cheney on your ass right here in front of all these people."
"'Go Cheney on my ass'? 'Go Cheney on my ass'? Who the f**k do you think you're talking to!?"
28. Posted by McGehee | June 26, 2004 9:19 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 09:19
29. Posted by McGehee | June 26, 2004 9:22 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Guy in background behind Bill Crystal: "Oh lord, he's doing it again. Pssst! Hey Senator! That's not a foreign leader, that's Billy Crystal, the actor."
Kerry: "Shut the @#$! up, I know who he is, but does he know who I am?"
Crystal: "Michael Dukakis in lifts?"
29. Posted by McGehee | June 26, 2004 9:22 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 09:22
30. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 26, 2004 10:07 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Have you ever been skiing and then run into... what are those guys?"
"Secret Service men."
"Yeah, and you hit them and ow, it smarts."
"I hate it when that happens."
30. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 26, 2004 10:07 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 10:07
31. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 26, 2004 10:09 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Don't give me that 'It was Marty Short' crap, Jewboy. Do the Ed Grimley bit or you'll be waiting tables in the Catskills again."
31. Posted by Laurence Simon | June 26, 2004 10:09 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 10:09
32. Posted by Kevin Murphy | June 26, 2004 12:27 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Look, Billy, I told you it was over! WTF are you doing following me around like this? It's over, capiche?!
32. Posted by Kevin Murphy | June 26, 2004 12:27 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 12:27
33. Posted by Neo | June 26, 2004 1:06 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
You do know that I served in Vietnam, right?
You aren't one of those crooked Republicans, are you? No? Okay, hey did you know I served in Vietnam?
You aren't as funny as I am, because I once served in Vietnam unlike those crooked Republicans. Say, you aren't a Nader supporter are you?
You better not vote for that crooked bastard who never served in Vietnam, vote for me - if you know what's good for you, which I know you do because I served in Vietnam.
33. Posted by Neo | June 26, 2004 1:06 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 13:06
34. Posted by Neo | June 26, 2004 1:12 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
If you vote for me, I will make Robin Williams have an "unfortunate accident." After all we are the party of "unfortunate accidents", just ask Bill Clinton, Paul Wellstone (err, maybe not), or Ted Kennedy.
34. Posted by Neo | June 26, 2004 1:12 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 13:12
35. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 26, 2004 1:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Look, I didn't appreciate the heckling during my speech. What did you think this was? One of your celebrity roasts? Knock it off funny man.
35. Posted by eclipsegurl | June 26, 2004 1:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 13:24
36. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 26, 2004 1:55 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"Well John I really don't know the location of the clubs that were used to force Jack Ryan out of the Ill. Senate race, so give it up and stop asking."
36. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 26, 2004 1:55 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 13:55
37. Posted by Senator PhilABuster | June 26, 2004 3:58 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"No a check from you isn't enough, dammit, I also want a check from all of Brit Hume's other panelists too! Capiche?"
37. Posted by Senator PhilABuster | June 26, 2004 3:58 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 15:58
38. Posted by SpaceMonkey | June 26, 2004 5:11 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Kerry: William, LOVE your champagne'
38. Posted by SpaceMonkey | June 26, 2004 5:11 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 17:11
39. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 26, 2004 6:08 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"No.... but I need you, Theresa said get out the good Crystal."
39. Posted by Rodney Dill | June 26, 2004 6:08 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 18:08
40. Posted by McGehee | June 26, 2004 6:33 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"(Who is this scary looking man looming over me and pointing at my genitals?)"
40. Posted by McGehee | June 26, 2004 6:33 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 26, 2004 18:33
41. Posted by Jerry Lynch | June 27, 2004 2:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
...and if you don't get out of my face I'm gonna bury you like I'm gonna bury "The Shrub" in November! Maybe I'll smother you with some of Theresa's ketchup while I'm at it.
41. Posted by Jerry Lynch | June 27, 2004 2:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 27, 2004 02:50
42. Posted by Nordicgirl | June 27, 2004 11:50 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
KERRY: “It all comes, Bill, from not being sufficiently nuanced. I can also promise you that my Vice President won’t be dropping the F-Bomb without numerous UN resolutions.
CRYSTAL: “Oh, good. That always works out well.”
42. Posted by Nordicgirl | June 27, 2004 11:50 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 27, 2004 11:50
43. Posted by Jeff | June 28, 2004 10:44 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Repeat after me... "I would like... to partake... of your pecan pieeeeeee.''
43. Posted by Jeff | June 28, 2004 10:44 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on June 28, 2004 10:44