A little while ago I posted a piece that contained some racial epithets. As I expected, it generated a bit of a stir. Most people saw the points I was trying to make, and responded. A few, however, homed right in on those particular words and made them the focus of their response. This got me to thinking about such terms, and now that a little time has passed and passions have had a chance to ease, I thought I’d start a calm, serious discussion about such terms.

Whenever I hear someone use certain epithets (for example, “the N-word” for blacks and “the C-word” for women), I have a rather complex set of reactions. My first is revulsion – I loathe the idea that, in a single word, one person can completely dehumanize another by reducing them to a single characteristic. It’s a wretched thing to do, and never justified.

I also feel a slight sense of comfort. At least 90% of the time someone uses those terms, it allows me to instantly determine that they are an idiot, a hateful lout, and probably not worth my time arguing with them.

I also feel a twinge of relief. Every time I hear those terms, I’m reminded that there are no terms like that that can target me. I don’t belong to any category that has ready-made epithets like the ones cited above. If someone wants to insult me, they have to base them on who I am, not what I am. I can only be insulted about matters that are in some way under my control.

I also feel a smidgen of both guilt and envy. Here’s a whole category of human experience I am denied. Is it my fault I’m a white male?

(I know that’s a little bit twisted, but that’s the way I am.)

But that brings me to the point I am trying to reach here. What is the best way to deal with those words, and the power they have? One argument is to ban them, if not through law, then through social pressure. Any time someone uses those words, jump on ‘em hard. If they use them out of ignorance, educate them. If they use them from hatred, confront them. And if they use them to make a point, debate the necessity with them.

This approach has several flaws. For one, you end up with absurdities like the Washington, DC official who had to resign his post because he used the word “niggardly” (meaning penny-pinching) in a report, and that was too close to a racial epithet for many people. In essence, he lost his job for having a better than average vocabulary.

It also has the effect of creating different classes of citizens. Call me a “C-word,” and I’ll give you a funny look and maybe a contemptuous snort. Use the same term on a woman, and you’ll be facing a huge lawsuit (that you’ll probably lose). And uses of “the N-word” have been successfully prosecuted as civil-rights violations and hate crimes.

Another approach is to take the power out of those words. Dilute them, weaken them, make them meaningless. If someone hears “the N-word” 400 times a day, in every context, it’ll eventually lose it’s power over them and simply become part of the background noise, much as the word “like” has become a verbal filler, the equivalent of lettuce in a sandwich. It’s the approach standup comics like Eddie Murphy and George Carlin endorsed, and I find that once you get past the laughs, standup comics are among the quickest and most observant thinkers around.

I find myself favoring the second approach, but I’m not comfortable carrying it out myself. I lack the courage of my convictions on this matter.

Any thoughts, anyone?

J.