Zicam is a cold treatment medicine. It comes in lozenge, nasal gel (don’t ask), and oral spray. The spray is one of the most revolting tastes I’ve ever encountered. It makes my tongue want to unhook itself from my mouth, climb out, wrap itself around my throat, and throttle me for inflicting that spray on it. My teeth grow visibly larger as my gums retract, trying desperately to hide from the spray.
Fisherman’s Friend is a cough drop. It tastes vile. It’s like Altoids on steroids. The first time I took one, I had to pull over to the side of the road because my eyes were watering so badly. I once had a friend who actually LIKED them, but that friend was a moderately insane freak to begin with.
These two substances rank in the top five experiences my mouth has ever had. I’m not sure in what order I’d put them, but those two plus the time I deep-kissed a smoker right after she finished a cigarette, some major dental work I had as a child, and the time my best friend’s (now ex) wife came on to me round out the set.
All those disclaimers aside, I have to say one thing in the defense of Zicam and Fisherman’s Friend: They WORK. I am recovering from an extremely nasty cold, and I’ve been dosing myself liberally with these two substances, and it is only through the grace of these to vile toxins that I am in any way functional right now.
It’s my theory that these two medicines work on the chemotherapy principle: they’re poisons and they could kill you, but they’ll kill the cold first and you’ll stop taking them before they kill you. I have absolutely no evidence to back up that notion, but I’m sticking with it.
J.
(note: these comments are not endorsed by anyone besides the author, who has not been compensated for them.)
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Comments (9)
"...nasal gel (don’t ask... (Below threshold)1. Posted by TC-LeatherPenguin | May 8, 2004 6:01 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
"...nasal gel (don’t ask),..."
I gotta know the directions for proper application. Consider it a PSA.
1. Posted by TC-LeatherPenguin | May 8, 2004 6:01 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 06:01
2. Posted by Jay Tea | May 8, 2004 6:36 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
TC-LeatherPenguin, I got the spray. The gel scared me. From what I understand, it's got the consistency of Vaseline and you rub it on the inside of your nostrils. You want more details, go find out for yourself -- but don't feel obligated to share them with me. The spray's bad enough.
J.
2. Posted by Jay Tea | May 8, 2004 6:36 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 06:36
3. Posted by michele | May 8, 2004 7:42 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I have this psychological problem where I can't swallow pills. So anytime I need antibiotics, I get them in liquid form.
Holy crapola. Talk about vile. No wonder kids don't want to take their medicine when they are sick.
For the record, Zithromax tastes like liquid chalk mixed with acetone. But it works, so I drink.
Come to think of it, NyQuil isn't exactly a pleasant drink, either. Then again, I'm probably not supposed to be pouring into a cocktail glass over ice and sipping as I watch late night tv.
3. Posted by michele | May 8, 2004 7:42 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 07:42
4. Posted by McGehee | May 8, 2004 8:21 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
My last cold, I got the Zicam cherry-flavored meltaways pills you could chew, but you're not supposed to. You have to leave them on your tongue until they disappear. <insert Howard Dean imitation here>
After reading this review, the spray sounds downright tasty in comparison.
4. Posted by McGehee | May 8, 2004 8:21 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 08:21
5. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 8, 2004 9:03 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I think Zicam works pretty well too. You should have gone with the Nasal gel based on your experience with the spray. It's not bad at all.
5. Posted by Rodney Dill | May 8, 2004 9:03 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 09:03
6. Posted by Jay Tea | May 8, 2004 10:33 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Gee, thanks, Rodney, NOW you tell me that...
6. Posted by Jay Tea | May 8, 2004 10:33 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 10:33
7. Posted by maura | May 8, 2004 1:24 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Yay, Jay Tea! Glad it helped. There's plenty of clinical trial evidence that it works, too - so long as you take it quick. It works by preventing virus particles from binding to the surface of your cute little cells.
Hope you're back to 100% soon. :o)
7. Posted by maura | May 8, 2004 1:24 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 8, 2004 13:24
8. Posted by Jon | May 10, 2004 1:18 PM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
I had the same taste reaction to Theraflu... they had the gall to call it 'pleasant tasting'.
8. Posted by Jon | May 10, 2004 1:18 PM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 10, 2004 13:18
9. Posted by Chris | May 16, 2004 4:31 AM | Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Fishermans Friends are tasty!
Also, tabasco sauce is a nice drink. It clears out the sinuses.
And no, I'm not kidding!
9. Posted by Chris | May 16, 2004 4:31 AM |
Score: 0 (0 votes cast)
Posted on May 16, 2004 04:31