The Bonfire of the Vanities returns stronger than ever to to celebrate its 20th edition by getting a star in the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. The motto this week is "Horray For Hollywood!." This weeks entries prove that bloggers have a future in Hollywood as key grips, best boys, and prop masters. All of this weeks entries were given auditions on the casting couch and failed to impress (or put out) so they have been sent packing to burn in the Bonfire.

If you want to be reminded to enter the Bonfire each week via e-mail, subscribe to the Bonfire mailing list. If you just want to see home made porn video of Hollywood stars take heart in the fact that Pam and Tommy Lee may be together again.

Lights, camera, action...

Dodgeblogium contributor Leather Clad Stud-Muffin's date seems to be saying, "Is that a gun in your "Queer Eye For The Straight Guy" leather pants pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" Lest you think the other contributors are any better off, Andrew is doing his best drunken Hank Williams, Jr. impersonation.
tinklebelle laments the lack of a man around the house. Get a teenage babysitter and one of these.
Meanwhile, Owen is urging men to love their erections. One of these may help…
JohnJo thinks blogs will morph into media empires and their will be a great battle. Did he miss the Great Blog War this summer?
Paterico has nominated the idiotic Infotel Publications suit against Calblog. We refuse Infotels entry, since we never order a listing in their directory, and intend on filing suit. Even the Bonfire has standards…
McGehee tragically forgets that pre-election polling never accounts for the dead vote.
Madfish Willie offers up a virtual tour of his tip jar. Perhaps he has just plain gone mad.
Nathan has been "leaving his mark" around Uzbekistan. In 16, or so, years expect to see a lot of terrorists named Nathan.
Trey has an exclusive celebrity camel toe. Amazingly enough neither Hilton sister was involved.
Margi proves chicks dig porn which should excite you, except all they want to do when they're finished is talk…
Jay is saying something here, god help you if you can figure out what it is… Our interpretation, "I like cheese."
Kiril share a touching story of fatherhood from the pilot episode of "Everyone Loves Georgio"…
Harvey lets you in on a little secret, he doesn't fall for the normal spam come-ons, but he can't help but click on chemical-radiation-foreign-quantum-mechanics porn.
Jennifer proclaims Bill Cimino The King of Suck. Hey that's our job here at the Bonfire. The blogosphere reacts with the rather ho-hum, "no shit Sherlock…"
Susie presents her homage to the King of Suck - a post about nothing. We're still trying to determine how this is different from her other posts. We'll get back to you on that…
Sean offers to cover Howard Dean. When offered goofy Dennis Kucinich instead, he declines.
Jim is now a proud member of the Depends generation. Wear them proud!
Anastasia is totally offering a roadmap to *success* for potential suitors… Translation for guys who still can't figure it out - It's all about the music!!!
The Commissar had grand visions of creating a visual monument to frustrations of Palestinians after 36 years of Israeli occupation. Too bad his picture was 36 years old. To use a basketball analogy, "Airball!"
Jack is going to France and will miss his pulled pork barbeque. Give it a while Jack, you'll miss girls who shave their pits way more than down home cooking - guaranteed…
The King Of Fools may be joining Jack in France if this post is any indication. He pledges to stop shaving his pits after the move as well…
Pietro uses the lowly Bengals versus the mighty Chiefs as an analogy for Texas Democrats versus Republicans. Do us a favor and please DO NOT handicap the presidential race, OK?
The Gods of the Bonfire put a curse on Interested Observer for hoisting this upon his readership.
John Moore vastly over estimates the intelligence of the British. Have you ever tried to sit through and episode of EastEnders? The score there would be 10 out of 10 Brits are dolts.
The Patriot proposes a little blog episodic writing challenge. As a special bonus we've translated the Korean entry as follows: "He opens the door to find Paris Hilton naked and holding night vision camcorder…" Gawker wants to talk to that Korean guy about a job.
Brian is spinning his old fashion down home wisdom for your reading pleasure. Pay no attention to the fact that is a *group* home…
The better half of the Noggle family, Heather, is unfortunately not any better. Cuter yes, better, no…
Matt points you to a site where you can give back your illicitly obtained MP3's. All MP3's of the modern rock. punk, new wave, etc should be sent to the Bonfire. We'll take care of the nasty business of giving them back for you.
In addition to the participation in Jen's entry, I offer up this less than stellar effort. Making fun of women constantly on the verge of a nervous breakdown orgasm just wasn't as funny as it first seemed.

Want To Join?
E-mail a link to your worst post of the week and include any extenuating circumstance, humorous commentary, or self serving excuse for your pathetic post. Get your entries for next week's edition to me via e-mail to bonfire at wizbangblog dot com by 9 PM EST Monday November 24th. Need a reminder? Subscribe to the mailing list.